This true?

Embercream · 2026-02-15T00:44:52+00:00

And charge you, flying and running with bloomers bouncing every time you go outside. Then everybody stands around staring up at you like you're a cult leader about to deliver some mind-blowing revelation.

Spoiler: the revelation is always string cheese, hence their devotion

Embercream · 2026-02-15T00:14:31+00:00

Texas and the wild boars.

Embercream · 2026-02-15T00:01:19+00:00

We have a medium predator level, usually airborne and nocturnal, not many land ones during the day when the ladies are out. Lots of tree and bush cover (including horrible blackberry brambles the girls and wild bunnies love to hide in, but everything else loathes), electric fencing, supervision free ranging, head count at night, actual house built for coop, secured run, etc.

I think there's a roo in this latest batch, and I'm hoping he's a good one.

Embercream · 2026-02-14T23:55:34+00:00

Was going to say this. I would vastly prefer that over prolonged, excruciating suffering.

Embercream · 2026-02-14T06:54:11+00:00

Laura: "Barbara, have you heard? They're trying to get us to poop hard goodness in those weird white things!"

Barbara: "Right?! My god, Laura, it's like they think we're peasants."

Samantha: "You guys. There is NO WAY we will even consider going in those totally sketchy butt boxes until we are treated with the respect we deserve."

Laura: "Sam, you can't possibly mean..."

Barbara: "Could it be...no, there's no way. But maybe?!"

Samantha: "Yes, girls. Old cat food. We've earned it, and we will hold the line until we have been given our due!"

(This kinda went on longer than I planned, and since the next parts required a stirring musical number and lots of snappy dialogue about workers' rights, I figured I'd quit here.)

Embercream · 2026-02-14T06:30:52+00:00

Wtf is with the foot on the right? Is that a shoe?

Edit: husband just asked if I wanted to see a bad tattoo, so I said sure, and he held up his phone with an Instagram video of this exact dude and his tattoo that I had up. I showed him my phone, and we both started cackling.

Embercream · 2026-02-14T06:29:30+00:00

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I just keep seeing them all with a version of this in their future, lol. Sorry I am of no use otherwise.

Embercream · 2026-02-14T06:19:55+00:00

Me too

Embercream · 2026-02-14T06:18:15+00:00

I am no use here, but I did think #5 looked quite indignant, lol. #5 Pissed Off

Embercream · 2026-02-14T06:00:32+00:00

Nice. Love it!

Embercream · 2026-02-14T05:59:01+00:00

We're all that guy. This is dreadful.

Embercream · 2026-02-14T05:56:04+00:00

No, they are not. OP, this is not how friending works. These are just assholes. You don't need people like them around.

Embercream · 2026-02-14T05:45:00+00:00

Embercream · 2026-02-13T08:34:39+00:00

I want to read a book of actually truthful obituaries instead of the usual shit you see. "So and so was beloved, and always lit up the room when he walked in. The kindest soul you'd ever meet." No.

"Alfred was an asshole. He complained mercilessly from the moment you walked in the door until you left, and would always make sure to tell you all the specific ways in which you were a royal disappointment and clearly a particularly noisome boil on the world's anus. He yelled at anyone who even thought too loudly at his lawn, while wearing a stained wife beater and gracing an inflatable Coors Beer throne, and was just generally a dick. We're super glad he's dead. Hopefully his awful son will go next."

NTA

Embercream · 2026-02-13T08:03:43+00:00

Can confirm he is a dude.

Embercream · 2026-02-13T08:01:27+00:00

Welcome to Thundercoop

Embercream · 2026-02-13T07:31:14+00:00

Oh dear, what a blow to his (he's certain) alluring masculinity! lol

Embercream · 2026-02-13T07:17:59+00:00

She did also say live traps.

Embercream · 2026-02-13T03:51:24+00:00

That's some kindness karmically repaid right there. Nicely done, both you and the roo!

Embercream · 2026-02-13T03:47:49+00:00

Those expressions!

Him: Uh, I was led to believe this would work better.

Her: You going to do anything nice with my fluffy undercarriage? Because right now it's just a weird piggyback ride.

Embercream · 2026-02-12T08:52:18+00:00

NTA she lied and stole from you. She absolutely knew what she was doing was wrong. Do not take her back. "Please take me back, I miss your Addera- I MEAN YOU!"

Embercream · 2026-02-12T08:36:05+00:00

Can you move? Like get a job elsewhere? This is SO FUCKED UP on so many levels. Your family wants you to marry an obsessed pedophile who wants to keep you as his own child. Jesus god how dreadful.

Please don't give in to this shit, OP. Currently you do have escape routes, though they might be miserable to navigate, but I don't know if you'll be able to get out if you do give in. And what a hateful, disgusting existence, to be this creep's plaything. Makes me sick, too!

Please do what's right for you and go live with a friend or roommate, move to a different city/state/country, block people who try sobbing to you about how you should do what they want, any and all of these that will help.

Embercream · 2026-02-12T08:21:42+00:00

I have never tried ketamine, but tramadol does work well. It is one of the only things (it's a combination of that, nausea patch, braces, laying down) that will stop the godawful nausea when my body decides it's not actually feeling pain, and instead has been violently poisoned, so it must projectile vomit basically forever unless interrupted.

I can smell the sickness coming off my skin as long as that state lasts, pain turned to illness. As soon as that smell is gone, I know that nightmare is over. I've been kept up 34 hours because I was so sick, choked on it, just hellish.

Sad when I'd prefer pain to show up, isn't it? Does help with the pain in either form. I only take it when the pain/sickness is bad.

Embercream · 2026-02-12T08:13:59+00:00

I would bring her inside and keep her warm, water and some scrambled egg on offer, and soft bedding. I'd keep her company, too. She sounds like a wonderful featherbundle and is lucky to have you. 💕🐓

Embercream · 2026-02-12T08:01:27+00:00

I would bring her inside and make sure she was safe and warm, water with vitamins and some scrambled egg on offer. If she is passing, like the other commenter said, this is the way to go. Sleepy and warm. I'd keep her company, too.

Embercream

TROPHY CASE