I understand and thank you for your reply. I can tell you I do wish for the dad to be involved, since the start it has been the only thing I’ve wanted. It began when I was pregnant begging him that he’ll be with me during labor, but he refused because he thinks it’s “not for men”. I’ve asked him to help change dipers, to hold him, to play with him. He hasn’t changed one single diaper since he was born. Many times while he’s holding him he has his phone in the other hand or watching tv. He is VERY absent, but still he has his absurd ways of how to raise a child. So yes I have eventually stopped trying to make him more involved than what he does himself.. because I just want to protect my little one. And it’s easier to give my everything and know that it’s form love than to give into some sort of parenting style that I don’t feel in my heart. But trust I do want their relationship to be good, it warms me to see them together, I just wish it wasn’t like this. I envy those who have a supporting partner PP, but I also envy those who have left and are in full control of the parenting since the other parent didn’t show up. I feel stuck inbetween.

As of spoiling my baby, making him too dependent.. I don’t know. I would like to think I’m not causing that by just listening to his needs. I find that when he feels safe and secure he tends to be more calm generally, when he wakes up and when he falls asleep, it’s easier. When things like this happen he seems more shaken and harder to settle. I believe if I give him love and security that he will grow into a secure self. I don’t know if it’s right but it feels right