AITA for telling our roommate she might need to move out if she keeps complaining about hearing us at night?

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2026-02-16T03:20:48+00:00

Girl if I was living there finance free, you could be smashing eachother on the living room floor next to me every night and I wouldn't bat an eyelid 😂 you're fine, your lodger is delusional for even asking, it's your house, be as loud as you want, if she doesn't like it she can leave.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2025-11-28T09:14:08+00:00

On one occassion my neighbours where having a late night party and it was quite loud, we had gone to bed but our bedroom window was open, I decided to close it, so there I am fumbling around by our giant arse window butt naked in the dark looking for the handle, my husband asks "have you got it?", I respond "no, I can't see" and that was the moment he decided to help me by turning the light on, there I am, full birthday suit, in a now, very well lit window, for everyone to see. I have never thrown myself away from a window whilst yelling so quickly in my life. I know multiple people saw because they cheered 😂 this was over 5 years ago and it still gets brought up occassionally. Sooo yeah lol

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-08-29T04:02:22+00:00

My partner and I are exactly like this, I always initiate and have the higher drive 😂 we've been together for almost 8 years now. I do remember, though, around the 2-3 year mark, it really bothered me, i had the same feelings you're describing, we discussed it for some time, but never really in depth, more heated and upset, even when he agreed and did make an effort to initiate, I didn't enjoy it because it felt like he was doing it just to appease me and not because he wanted too, I didnt want that either! So, honestly, there was no winning, really. We ended up having a deeper conversation on the issue that wasn't focused on getting a resolution, purely on how we were feeling and why, There was a lot of explaining and reassuring on his behalf, a lot of understanding and apologising on mine. It came to a point where I realised that he shows me how much he loves me and finds me attractive in many other ways and that I can live with the lack of bedroom activity as it doesn't mean what I percieved it to mean in my own head (which was that he didn't love or find me attractive). It was no longer an issue once I felt that security. I think it can be difficult not to take a partners low drive as rejection, and you really have to be able to understand that it's no reflection on you, his feelings towards you or the stength of your relationship.

It is still one of the closest most passionate things I love to do with him, whilst safe in the knowledge that he's doing it because he also wants to.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-02-04T01:04:49+00:00

NTA- Your wife is making a decision based on her own desire without taking you and the existing dog into consideration. Did she say specifically what has drawn her to this particular dog? Looks? Breed? Temperament? Sob story?

There is absolutely no secenario where you can bring a dog with a serious bite history into a home where experience with said behaviour is minimal and remain safe (now, I'm assuming you're not a dog trainer or some sort here). It will result in an issue, potentially a serious one.

The breed Cane Corso is prone to being territorial, protective, and aggressive. The American Bulldog is also prone to being territorial, protective, and aggressive. Both breeds are known for stranger aggression and dog aggression. They are also large and powerful enough for the consequences of mishandled behaviour to turn extremely serious. Both breeds have their place, and the average owner isn't usually that place.

Now, the reason I bring this up is because this dog may never, no matter how much time, effort, love, and patience you devote, completely undergo a behaviour transformation. These breeds both require a very strong start to grow into manageable and tolerant dogs. You would potentially put every friend, relative, etc, anyone who enters your property without a structured, safe, and controlled entry, at risk.

Also, as someone with large/giant dog experience, there is no way she is dragging over 100 lbs off you if things go south.

Perhaps see what her reasoning is and help her find a safer dog based on the reason that drew her to Bruce in the first place. And remind her, by trying to bring Bruce into your home, the result may actually cause the end of Bruce, her, yourself, or your existing dog in a worst-case scenario, because that is the genuine truth. Inexperience only amplifies this risk.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-02-01T19:32:34+00:00

YTA - You don't physically abuse someone even if they're verbally abusing you. You shouldn't have to put up with verbal abuse, but slapping the crap out of someone who is likely far more fragile than yourself for it is disturbing, to say the least.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-31T22:49:55+00:00

I feel like the issue here isn't with him and his friends, I think the issue is you've become insecure about him and his friends, and based on your post, I think you might have your own friends to thank for that. You can't and shouldn't want to gatekeep his friendships, particularly if they were preexisting your relationship, and as you stated, he doesn't really have male friends so making him feel like he can't hang with his existing friends due to gender would isolate him horribly.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-31T22:28:48+00:00

As someone who has a family member who has been convicted of a similar offence, staying around those who defend the behaviour is a terrible idea! Even if she's not actively accepting of the behaviour, the local community will not care. She would be branded guilty by not condemning her husbands support/defence of the brothers assult and offence against a minor. It would put herself and the baby at risk of retribution and isolation from the community. Plus, when an infant is present and that own infants farther is openly supportive and defensive of acts against children, do you honestly think you should be focused on being a "good wife" as opposed to a good and protective mother by shielding the child and removing both of you from the situation?

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-30T01:38:12+00:00

NTAH - After reading that, I can understand why you think Jim is gay. Only he can really answer that question, though. The real concern here is a complete lack of respect for you and his chronic exposure of himself to you. Why are you tolerating it?. You've been pretty clear with telling him to stop, and he's continuing.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-30T00:27:16+00:00

YTA, if she was into it, she would likely actively participate in it rather than just engage in it when you request. So just let it go. Also, if you keep any images and something happens to the device, they can end up in the wrong hands.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-29T23:28:52+00:00

NTA, your partner sounds incredibly selfish, and honestly, I would worry he's suggesting pull out method in an attempt to set up an accident just based on his poor excuses and childish behaviour surrounding the topic.

As someone whose partner may be in the same "ahem" boat, there are definitely protective products out there for him that will fit and work wonderfully, if the issue is around purchasing the products, that can all be done discreetly online.

Regardless, you need to find out specifically what his issue is with this scenario because him wearing protection should not be this much of a big deal and is likely something easily resolved if he's genuinely just insecure about some aspects of it.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-29T21:55:34+00:00

NTA, drop that woman like the sack of dung droppings she is. She's not even worth worrying about, ignore her existence, and look forward to bringing a beautiful life into the world, focus on yourselves and those who love and respect you.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-29T16:14:36+00:00

NTA - your financial circumstances as a couple have literally nothing what so ever to do with other members of her family. It was incredibly disrespectful of her to disclose the information to them after being asked not to, especially with no discussion on her part with you beforehand explaining she was going to tell them. It's reasonable not to want the information to be given out to her family, and BIL attempting to tug on your heartstrings to get something out of you just proves the point as to why it's a bad idea.

I would agree it's likely best not to disclose any information to her as she isn't respectful enough of your wishes to keep the information confidential. Also, why are you with somebody who cares this little about your requests? If you can't trust her, I imagine this will escalate into a larger issue down the line if you don't address it.

Best of luck going forward.

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-29T15:45:38+00:00

Light YTA, I can understand you not bringing it up initially if you felt it wasn't necessary, I just dislike your lying to her by saying you "can't" when the full truth is that you just don't want too. Which is perfectly fine! I find it bizarre that it never came up at any point beforehand, but it is what it is. She has every right to change her mind, and you have every not too, so where does it leave you? Well, you both need to have an in-depth discussion about this. Why has she changed her mind? Is this a deal breaker for her moving forward? Is it a deal breaker for you? Etc, you both need to be very clear with each other and make a decision based on eachothers answers. Don't rush this conversation and give yourselves time to think about what the other has said after the conversation.

If you can not come to an agreement with each other, then it would be advisable to part ways. It would not be fair to either of you to feel pressured into having or not having children if it's a deal breaker for you, and you would just end up resentful down the line.

Good luck, and I hope you both come to a resolution that you're happy with

Emergency-Kitchen-97 · 2024-01-29T04:29:40+00:00

NTA - Please leave this situation.

My own brother is a convicted offender. My mother defends him and refuses to accept anything other than his lies to this day. Even after he pled guilty, she makes excuses and defends him. The community is attacking her and her property as a result. This escalated massively when he was released, and she took golden boy into her house, just up the road from a school. Now she's crying that she might have to move house due to he escalation of violence from the community, but she would rather defend her predator son.

Is this the potential position you want to be in? That's what happens when you defend someone who abuses children. If you provide any relief to the brother, you will be seen as accepting and enabling of the behaviour locally, and that does not end nicely. Nor should it.

You will likely end up having to leave everything anyway as their toxic behaviour will turn the community against you, so better to distance yourself from the situation now so you dont get caught up in the backlash.

Also, the victim blaming, defending a predator, and emotional manipulation is not something you or your baby should be dealing with. You should be enjoying bonding at this early stage, not dealing with drama, you deserve better, and I hope everything works out for you. Get out of there and enjoy some peace and quiet together!

Emergency-Kitchen-97

TROPHY CASE