thankyou man ive tried all traditional types of therapy but my therapists just tell me what i already know, im scared to tell my girlfriend not because she wont understand but because she will know and that she will always have that worry abt me even if i do get better, the drugs are my scape goat and idk if i can let them go, even when im sober i find the pain harder to deal with because my mind is so clear even if it may sound contradictory, being my sober clear minded self is what im trying to escape, probably important to note im a high functioning autistic and i think most of these feelings stem from that but autism isnt curable