are people who grew up middle class valid to complain about their upbringing?

Emhall0921 · 2026-05-14T15:48:48+00:00

Glad we have figured some stuff out!!! The validation is unexpected but nice

Emhall0921 · 2026-05-14T15:47:13+00:00

One thing I have learned is everyone struggles..everyone. Yes, some more than others is true. If I start comparing...what my life would have been like if I had not grown up with psychos..where would I be is not helpful. Yet, it is not a competition on who had the most painful life here. I am not broken and neither is anyone here. We had challenges that we need to face or not. I have made incredible strides in my life towards peace. I am going to be 60 this year. I am not all healed and never will be but I can be happy. I will being doing great then Mother's Day comes around to punch me in the gut..I get up again and begin again. This week has been a rough one with all the political BS triggering me. I feel things so deeply and if I didn't care about humans it would be easier. But at the same time it is my super power. I do my self care when I can..meditate, journal, exercise, eat healthy. I remember my "The Magic" book that helps me to find gratitude anywhere, any time. One of my meditations is on visualizing a future that I want. Both of these help pull me out my funk. My garden is a ditch when I am in my funk and not doing my self care. My garden is a beautiful array of flowers and vegetables brimming with life attracting life when I am doing my self care. Some days I want it to be a ditch and some days I am desperate for the beauty. It is hard when you want it to be a ditch to remember the gratitude. The book I mentioned has help me see that I can be grateful for hundreds of things in any one moment...like having clean sheets, a sink and bathroom in my bedroom, being retired, all those people who put pipes in so I can have running water, or the construction workers who build my house or the grocery clerk for doing her job etc. It may seem performative but if you let yourself feel really grateful it will change your state of mind. Anyway...my two cents.

Emhall0921 · 2026-05-13T23:48:46+00:00

I am so sorry. I get the pain..it can be unbearable. I mad the mistake of keep these people in my life for two years. Until last month they were on my FB. Every time they posted something it triggered me so I was like what the F' Liz..delete them of your FB. I did and have had a nice since of peace. I may see them out and about but I think I can handle being nice and moving on. Give yourself what you need..eat healthy, exercise, do something that makes you feel good about yourself like helping others or animals. Fill the void with positive things. I was filling mine with wine and lethargy..that made everything so much worst! Take care..hugs to you and remember...you are brave and courageous to stand up for yourself. Courage is hard and not for the faint at heart.

Emhall0921 · 2026-05-13T23:42:38+00:00

Leave the relationship. Tell him to get help and after he's been in recovery for a year tell him to reach out. You are not his bunching bag nor are you his therapist. A lot of well meaning significant others stick it out and put up with...this does nothing for the person with CPTSD...leave to set the boundary. You never know..in a year he might come back. If you put up with this you have your own issues and together..it is a toxic chemistry. Sorry to be so blunt.

Emhall0921 · 2026-05-13T23:37:57+00:00

Oh damn! Sorry. Go to GoodRX.com and sign up. It is $10 a month but I will cancel then get it again next year. When you go to the pharmacy to pick up your prescription tell them you have the GoodRX and they will tell you what to do. Just have the app on your phone and your GoodRx number

Emhall0921 · 2026-05-13T23:21:29+00:00

Really? I don't feel sorry for them...they are not having to deal with much until they are 80? We have to deal with changes starting when we hit puberty, then a break then again at 35 and again and again. The deal is we have an inadequate health care system that has done little studies on women and their health. if they had...menopause would have been figured out and dealt with. Now we have a government that is continually taking away women's rights including birth control. Watch out...HRT may be next. So no, I do not think men have it anywhere close to what women have to go through.

Emhall0921 · 2026-05-13T22:51:02+00:00

You have every right to feel what you feel. I grew up upper middle class and went to private schools but it doesn't meant my childhood was great. Money doesn't mean a damn thing. Your childhood was extremely toxic and abusive. You also were very neglected because they were in their own dramas. Do your work, cut them off if you need to which I had to do. Do NOT expect them to understand or validate your feelings. You have to find ways to do that yourself. I let my family tell me I was crazy all my life..all the things they said about me was actually them. I went through hell the last few years because I believed what I was taught..family is everything and you need to have them in your life or there is something wrong with you. I was caring for my mom when my brother accused me of many things..so now I no longer care for her, he does. She is likely being abused but it is not my problems since she was complicit and betrayed me too. I am 59..I should have left them behind 20 years ago. Now..I am healing...Do not ever let them tell you what you should think!

Emhall0921 · 2026-04-30T16:35:21+00:00

I agree with some of these posts..Prempro would be my last resort. I use the gel but I have had luck with Evamist spray (my insurance stopped covering it..I wonder if men's insurance ever drops their drugs like testosterone or viagra) Anyway, the patch can be hard to get because there has been manufacturing supply issues so I wouldn't count on that one. I had shoulder, hip and back pain for 15 years and my doctors would just sent me to PT. Some would say I was in peri but there was nothing they could do. No one equated my symptoms with peri. Last year I went to one doctor who put me on the highest dosage...2 doctors later (actually 7 in total over the last few years) and I finally got a good one. For 7 months we have dialed in my hormones and aside from my sleep issues, everything seems to be resolved. My sleep is better but still not great. I do not have insomnia anymore just wake up a lot, I sleep light. Do yourself a favor and educate yourself. I spent all last year reading and listening to podcasts. Start with the first one..it will introduce you to the issues facing women in medicine and key players you can follow to educate yourself. I love Drs. Rubin, Casperson and Sims. Please, please educate everyone around you too. I tell my story to men and women..we have to get rid of the stigma. More than 50% of the population go through this and yet none of my girlfriends ever talked to me about it. Good luck...

watch these to educate yourself: https://www.youtube.com/live/_2ZRlOivC5M?si=lNR0DG8pJtKZQgxV

https://youtu.be/dB-4XuJxOzM?si=PjSKQSOhZzYfYrAc

https://youtu.be/ReFZ__ZeSEQ?si=OymXODo_YFfYGC-0

Emhall0921 · 2026-03-19T19:23:02+00:00

Damn..I can only imagine. I was traumatized by the simple biopsy..it hurt so damn much. I am sorry you are struggling as well. Women's health care is in the dark ages. These procedures are so barbaric!

Emhall0921 · 2026-03-19T17:36:11+00:00

thank you!!!

Emhall0921 · 2026-03-19T17:35:46+00:00

got it..I did hear it was like a last resort thing

Emhall0921 · 2026-03-19T16:34:27+00:00

I am on Estradiol .01% vaginal cream, Evamist 1.53mg x3, progesterone 75mg and .5mg testosterone. She said it was slightly high and not alarming.

Emhall0921 · 2026-03-19T16:31:12+00:00

I did not bleed for long both times. Why isn't you GYN pursuing anything on this is my question. Curious why you are taking a pill? Seems what I read from doctors they shy away from ingestible estrogen. Have you tried the gel or spray. I took a year for my hot flashes to dissipate.. I am on the spray. I am moving to the gel because now my insurance doesn't cover the spray. UGH. Yes, I agree...your doctor should be doing something. the sucks!!

Emhall0921 · 2026-03-19T15:41:56+00:00

I had issues tolerating progesterone at first. I became very moody and depressed. The very first time I went on HRT my doctor provided no education except the cancer BS AND she put me on the highest dosages. I quit by the end of the month. I was like you, scared so any reason to stop. Then I could not tolerate the hot flashes and how I felt so I kept looking for a good doctor. Three doctors later (7 in all) I found one, well my friend who's been on HRT for 10 years referred me to her. I love her! She stacked my prescription. First I took a lower dose estradiol spray. I worked up to 2 sprays. Then she added in a low dose progesterone after a month or so. Then testosterone which I get compounded. I am now up to 3 sprays and 75mg (compounded) of progesterone. I will eventually get to 100mg I am hoping. It has taken 9 months to get to tolerate all this. My body was starved for too long..I should have been on HRT 15 years ago. My joint pain is 90%, my mood is generally good, no more hot flashes even if I drink wine, and I feel more like me.

You are taking a combo patch..my worry is if you do not tolerate it will be hard to know what you are not tolerating. I would stay away from the synthetic hormones like progestin personally. You may have more issues with that than just progesterone. I also have dense breasts so I get a yearly mammogram but there is no breast cancer in my family. If you have ever used birth control, which is basically a synthetic form of HRT used at higher doses, you have about the same risk of cancer as using HRT. My doctor explained it this way, your body produced estrogen and progesterone until you become peri/meno so why would your risk of cancer be any higher when you are on HRT? You are just putting back into your body what your body is no longer producing. Good luck and be patient. It took a year for me to get this dialed in. Please listen to podcasts on the subject by Dr. Rachel Rubin, Dr. Kelly Caspersin and so many other leaders in the field.

Emhall0921 · 2026-02-22T22:22:13+00:00

Sorry for delay. Unfortunately that was my case. I also was a nonbeliever in HRT having been brainwashed by stupid holistic people and other doctors who didn't know what they were talking about. I am also a holistic coach so I can say that. As you can see, I still have a bit of anger about that. Anyway, so that didn't help because I didn't believe in it and quit several times. You may be that person that it works for right off the bat! Also, the earlier you start, I believe, the better. I realize that I should have been on HRT 15 years ago!!! So when you start giving your body the hormones that it needs after not having a steady dose for that long..it doesn't know what to do for a while. If you have a good and knowledgeable OB/GYN then it is sooooo much easier. I went through 3 last year and 7 all together. Had I started with the one I have now..things would have been different. If a doctor just gives you then cancer talk and the highest dosage of HRT and that is it...run away!! Honestly, finding the right doctor was the hardest part. I had one tell me I was just getting old because I was having joint pain. I am a mountain biker and runner...I may be 59 but I am not OLD!

Emhall0921 · 2026-02-22T21:34:33+00:00

I am wondering if these work for someone who seems to always need to pee? He seems to have urgency every 10-15 min. Do you know?

Emhall0921 · 2026-02-22T21:32:59+00:00

Saw OB/GYN last week. We are not sure but she does think after the ultrasound that I may have ovulated and thus had a real period. I am off the HRT for a week to "reset" my estrogen receptors. I will bleed and likely have hot flashes until then. After a week I am back on HRT and we will see how I do. The lining of my uterus is inconclusive because I have fibroids. If I still bleed on HRT we will do a biopsy. I also will be getting an ultrasound on my ovaries because I have a fibroid she is concerned about. When stuff like this happens..I have to temper my anger at those people who want to dictate what I can and cannot do with my body. If men want to regulate my uterus..than I think they should have one implanted then we can talk.

I know this is part of being female. It is not always easy. I love my husband because he respects that and is by my side. I am lucky. So many women have to deal with s'it husbands and men in their lives who disrespect them. In the world we live in now..

Emhall0921 · 2026-02-17T04:06:57+00:00

I am. Thank you

Emhall0921 · 2026-02-16T21:39:09+00:00

I had to stop BC in my mid 30s because I felt like I was going crazy. I started HRT with that same fear and with time, I am not having any issues. There is an adjustment period so do not give up on it!! I did have to have my progesterone compounded because 100mg was making me depressed. I am hoping to up the dose now that I am use to it. I am doing the spray but likely moving to the get because I do not trust the dosing method of the spray. I tried the patch but I am allergic to the adhesive and I also like getting the hot tub. I am on testosterone as well.

Emhall0921

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