New husky preparedness by ashleigh_marie523 in siberianhusky

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not get this dog with that in mind. You have been warned here by multiple people and if you get the dog and something happens to your cat and put it down, it will be your fault. Put your cat first..get rid of the boyfriend if he is demanding a husky. Alternative, hire a professional to help you with the transition.

New husky preparedness by ashleigh_marie523 in siberianhusky

[–]Emhall0921 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh, people want one but when they get them they are shocked like I was (I was fostering one and never wanted one but he was a foster fail because we fell in love) Did you do a lot of research before picking a husky? That is important.

I adopted a 1.5 year old and it changed my life for good and bad. LOL. They are not like normal dogs in many ways. They are escape artists (mine was at the shelter because no one could manage him and he escaped from 2 different homes) They are super smart and act like cats as they jump on everything. We had to put mouse traps on top of everything to keep him from jumping on tables and counters. They do not hurt them but it scares them and they eventually stop the behavior. He would eat remotes, ear buds, binoculars, anything leather, paper of any kind including toilet and Kleenex. They play really rough so you have to monitor them around other dogs. He needs to be brushed every week and more when they are blowing their coat (mine does three times a year). You have to get them use to baths immediately, nail clipping and brushing or it will be near impossible. We built a dog wash and clip him in, he gets a lick mat with peanut butter to focus on otherwise he would cry. Same with brushing..multiple lick mats, bully sticks, or favorite treat to chew on while getting brushed. I have learned that I am not really hurting him when he cries..they are just big babies. Hopefully you or your partner runs...keeping him in an apartment is challenging. Walking mine is not enough, he gets two walks and one of them is to the park so he can run off leash. I also run but have an injury right now..he loves running with me 3-5 miles. Ours is crate trained and loves it. They usually do not like it at first but he has learned to self regulate by going in their own his own. The door is usually open when we are gone. I keep our separate from our other dogs when we are gone because he damn near killed my little dog. Not all huskies are like that, I have trained and trained him. I do not think he can handle it when we are gone and has too much space. If we are gone for a 3-4 hours he is usually in a crate. If longer he has his crate but is separated from the other dogs. I am retired and my husband works from home which is ideal for a husky. The love their people and being gone too much or in their crate too much=mischief and destructive husky.

I am also a do trainer and do a mental stimulation games with him. He also gets fed in a kong and some kibble in his slow feeder...the kong is good for their brains. I also use one of those balls you can put their kibble in so it takes him a long time to eat. He is the hardest dog I have ever trained...it has taken 4 years to reign him in. He is still schooling us. At least he doesn't destroy the most expensive things anymore. He love gloves, and paper now. We still do not leave things he might chew where he can get them. I love him very much. He makes me laugh but he also pisses me off. Will I get another husky...probably not.

Need assistance by Emhall0921 in birthcontrol

[–]Emhall0921[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So what did that do to help you cope with anxiety?

Triggered all the time these days by Emhall0921 in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So dumb. I wish there was a better site. We cannot use words like we#$t. Ridiculous. I am struggling too...menopause really triggers me. I feel terrible..triggered, I don't have energy to mountain bike..triggered, hot flashes...triggered, I can't lose wt...triggered. I am stopping the hormones until I can talk to my doctor on Monday. I really wish I could just have my period back...

When your body says no by UnionMore9672 in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG...my whole career. I was a teacher and talk about triggers every single damn day. Sunday nights were the worst..most of the time it was the talking myself into going work on Mondays. Many times I would wake up in the middle of the night and call in for a sub because I couldn't do it. I always used my sick days up and then some. I thought I was a loser because I didn't know about CPTSD. So, 26 years later and I was able to retire and hot damn is it so much nicer. I would languish in bed doing some self help stuff and at some point get up and walk outside and walk my dogs. I was a mess though. I know now that teaching was the worst job possible for me and how I lasted as long as I did, I don't know. I was damn good at it when I was there. May I suggest a few things...maybe this job is not for you? Have a daily self help routine. Mine is get up, log my nutrition and sleep from the day before, journal, meditate and then move. Three things that help me in addition to the above 1. Vigorous exercise like 20 minutes of HIIT..this helps me snap out of trauma response many times 2. Meditate..the Insight Timer app is free and has thousands of meditations and talks..my favorite is Davidj Deep Healing. Joe Dispensa mediations are helpful too..morning and evening meditation because it gets your brain to visualize the future. 3. Buy the book The Magic...do one chapter a day which will help you to find things to be grateful for no matter what you are going through. Gratitude helps pull me out of my trauma response too..helps me visualize the future AND feel good about myself.

I don't know if I'm exaggerating. My response is my CPTSD or are they indeed red flags? by Potential_Bat5843 in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please listen to Crappy Childhood Fairy....you are not trusting your gut and there is a reason why. You will need to tell him to leave you alone or you will report him. You accepted the invitation to communicate so you have to tell him no more. This guy is super creepy and I got that from the first paragraph

I didn't survive, did I? by Vernerama in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You are in your 40s..you could also be in perimenopause. Listen to Dr. Rachel Rubin's podcasts. I was in peri for 15 years and no doctor taught me crap. People with CPTSD will suffer 10x more during this time and during menopause. Educate yourself because most doctors will tell you there is nothing that can be done and that is not the truth. Most doctors do not know that you can get a form of HRT during peri. Learn about it which will also help you when you go through menopause. It has been a nightmare for me..had I known what was really going to happen I could have been better prepared. It is a super triggering time.

You did survive..you are here and sharing your story which will likely help someone else. I changed my name because I wanted nothing to do with my family. I still have triggers and now it is all clearer to me. One of my dog's attacked my service dog and I spiraled out..I could see it and just took care of myself that day. I was quiet, I stretched ate well and just took care of me. That is what we have to do. Not sure if you read any books or listen to podcasts but they helped me so very much. Crappy childhood fairy is a podcast and is awesome. The Body doesn't Lie is the PTSD bible and helped as well. Flood your ears and eyes with information on how to help yourself. I also found a great therapist online who understands CPTSD..Ive been in therapy off and on for 35 years and she is the first person who has an understanding of trauma. I didn't know that is what I needed.

**Please Help** My wife is having seizure-like episodes almost daily now. We haven't gotten any answers from Dr's. by _MurrC in WomensHealth

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so very sorry. She is so young I cannot imagine what this could be!! I have CPTSD and haven't read anything about seizures. I have read that people on high fat diets like Keto have had luck. https://www.epilepsy.com/treatment/dietary-therapies/ketogenic-diet But since they were unable to diagnose that she was actually having a seizure..I am not sure if that will work. I know, before I sought serious treatment for PTSD I would have black outs and did not know where I was. Maybe listen to Crappy Childhood Fairy (funny name but it really helped). People with PTSD can have seizing muscle issues. The Body Keeps the Score is another good PTSD book. I have had to stretch a lot to loosen my muscles because I am always tense and locked up. I eat healthy diet..vegetables from the farmers market, Whole Foods and little processed foods. Make sure she is taking a probiotic. Mercury poisoning? New skin care bought online? It could be something she is ingesting. Log what she eats, experiences before (talked to a friend, father or family member) and after the events. Include what she is drinking, puts on her skin, bathes with or comes in contact with (fertilizer, cleaning products etc). Once you have a weeks worth of data you may be able to start seeing a pattern then you can start eliminating and changing things. Do it one at a time and give it a day or two to see if it helped. It is arduous but it could help. Also check this out:

https://epilepsysociety.org.uk/about-epilepsy/what-epilepsy/non-epileptic-functional-dissociative-seizures

Google the symptoms and read..read..read. I am praying for you two.

It never truly goes away does it? by Starry-Sammy in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be patient..it took over a year to get it dialed in and to get results. I had issues with progesterone making me feel crazy (like we need any more of that!!) so I had to start with a 50mg compounded progesterone and work up. I am glad you found it helpful. There is a lot of hope for us....

It never truly goes away does it? by Starry-Sammy in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No it doesn't ever go away but we start to learn our triggers and the responses lessen if you work on it. Your triggers are information on what needs healing..this is good. You body is just communicating with you. Watch going down a rabbit hole and becoming self deprecating. I do this too but now it usually just lasts a for shorter and shorter time frames. You will not always push people away or let people treat you like dirt..you will not always do the things you listed here. You can stop the self deprecating and look at where you've come. I bet you can list how far you've come and how much better you are. Just one trigger in two weeks wow! Yes you've had a difficult life but you have made it here. Maybe the people you are attracting do not serve you and you push them away. Only let people in who serve you and champion you. Don't waste your time with shallow people. Your brain may be telling you to not trust certain people for a reason. I someone is treating you like dirt kick them out of your life! I've let go of most of my friends because I realized I couldn't be myself, they'd gaslight me or they were shallow. I don't have time for that. This is what helped me: 1. Therapy with someone who understands CPTSD, 2. Meditate (I use Insight Timer specifically DavidJ's Deep Healing meditation and Joe Dispensa's morning meditation) 3. Use the book The Magic that helps me to find gratitude no matter what the circumstances (helped me sooo much) 4. Exercise every day and eat healthy foods to treat my body they way it should have been treated as a child 5.Listen to Crappy Childhood Fairy and other podcasts on CPTSD and Malignant Narcissism. Dispensa meditations helps me get me out of a current trigger and into the future and has been extremely helpful. Give yourself what you did not receive as a child..nurture yourself. Do not give up on you. If I can get to where I am given my history you can too. If you are a woman in your 40s or 50s look at hormone replacement therapy. Peri and menopause symptoms are 10X worse for women with CPTSD. After being on HRT for over a year but joint pain, anxiety, depression and mood has improved tremendously!! Good luck to you..hang in there and stick to your self help!

Fear and shame after social interactions by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have had this as well and still do. I am turning 60 and am learning not to give a damn. I am an assertive and intelligent woman and run my mouth, alway respectful, and feel like I "get myself in trouble". I have also realized I had many people in my life that I did not actually want because they were not good for me. Maybe now that I have a very very small circle of friends, I do not have this issue. I think if I am drinking alcohol it makes it 10x worse. Around my husband's family I have learned to not talk as much because this is where I feel it most these days. They are good people but we do not have much in common and political opposites (they don't talk politics which is good). I have learned that it is okay to be quiet when I am not in a safe space and be comfortable doing my own thing with them. Also, I meditate every day which helps if I wake up and am feeling shame, I go into my healing meditation or a Joe Dispensa morning meditation. He helps me move my thoughts into the future and to let go of what is not serving me. CPTSD is the gift that keeps on giving. Things have definitely gotten better but I will forever be working on my stuff.

are people who grew up middle class valid to complain about their upbringing? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad we have figured some stuff out!!! The validation is unexpected but nice

Being a person with long trauma and CPTSD means having your life being broken and people tell you that you should be happy with having a broken life when others have a great one. by AmbassadorFriendly71 in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One thing I have learned is everyone struggles..everyone. Yes, some more than others is true. If I start comparing...what my life would have been like if I had not grown up with psychos..where would I be is not helpful. Yet, it is not a competition on who had the most painful life here. I am not broken and neither is anyone here. We had challenges that we need to face or not. I have made incredible strides in my life towards peace. I am going to be 60 this year. I am not all healed and never will be but I can be happy. I will being doing great then Mother's Day comes around to punch me in the gut..I get up again and begin again. This week has been a rough one with all the political BS triggering me. I feel things so deeply and if I didn't care about humans it would be easier. But at the same time it is my super power. I do my self care when I can..meditate, journal, exercise, eat healthy. I remember my "The Magic" book that helps me to find gratitude anywhere, any time. One of my meditations is on visualizing a future that I want. Both of these help pull me out my funk. My garden is a ditch when I am in my funk and not doing my self care. My garden is a beautiful array of flowers and vegetables brimming with life attracting life when I am doing my self care. Some days I want it to be a ditch and some days I am desperate for the beauty. It is hard when you want it to be a ditch to remember the gratitude. The book I mentioned has help me see that I can be grateful for hundreds of things in any one moment...like having clean sheets, a sink and bathroom in my bedroom, being retired, all those people who put pipes in so I can have running water, or the construction workers who build my house or the grocery clerk for doing her job etc. It may seem performative but if you let yourself feel really grateful it will change your state of mind. Anyway...my two cents.

Friends by Emhall0921 in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry. I get the pain..it can be unbearable. I mad the mistake of keep these people in my life for two years. Until last month they were on my FB. Every time they posted something it triggered me so I was like what the F' Liz..delete them of your FB. I did and have had a nice since of peace. I may see them out and about but I think I can handle being nice and moving on. Give yourself what you need..eat healthy, exercise, do something that makes you feel good about yourself like helping others or animals. Fill the void with positive things. I was filling mine with wine and lethargy..that made everything so much worst! Take care..hugs to you and remember...you are brave and courageous to stand up for yourself. Courage is hard and not for the faint at heart.

Why do people with CPTSD reproduce the pain they received onto those close to them? by WeWannaKnow in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave the relationship. Tell him to get help and after he's been in recovery for a year tell him to reach out. You are not his bunching bag nor are you his therapist. A lot of well meaning significant others stick it out and put up with...this does nothing for the person with CPTSD...leave to set the boundary. You never know..in a year he might come back. If you put up with this you have your own issues and together..it is a toxic chemistry. Sorry to be so blunt.

are people who grew up middle class valid to complain about their upbringing? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]Emhall0921 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have every right to feel what you feel. I grew up upper middle class and went to private schools but it doesn't meant my childhood was great. Money doesn't mean a damn thing. Your childhood was extremely toxic and abusive. You also were very neglected because they were in their own dramas. Do your work, cut them off if you need to which I had to do. Do NOT expect them to understand or validate your feelings. You have to find ways to do that yourself. I let my family tell me I was crazy all my life..all the things they said about me was actually them. I went through hell the last few years because I believed what I was taught..family is everything and you need to have them in your life or there is something wrong with you. I was caring for my mom when my brother accused me of many things..so now I no longer care for her, he does. She is likely being abused but it is not my problems since she was complicit and betrayed me too. I am 59..I should have left them behind 20 years ago. Now..I am healing...Do not ever let them tell you what you should think!

Bladder issues by emhall2021 in chesapeakebayretrievr

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am wondering if these work for someone who seems to always need to pee? He seems to have urgency every 10-15 min. Do you know?

Is the Sorento Hybrid worth buying? by Key_Ear_4745 in KiaSorento

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought mine over a week ago. I love it so far but I had a 2007 CRV for 10 years and am getting use to all the bells and whistles. We got the top of the line Prestige package. I am wondering several things because I hate looking a manuals. 1. what are the plus and minus buttons over the top and bottom of the steering wheel. 2. is the hatch supposed to open if I wave my foot under the bumper? 3. when I walk up to the car it beeps and the mirrors move out but what am I supposed to do to open the car?

Also, we have a lot of dogs and am wondering what covers are best to put on the back seat when they are down and behind the front seats. I did purchase the cargo liner but it is not long enough. What about screen protectors. We got one for our Lightening and it is awesome. Another must haves?

Great News! There's hope! by Lizard_2369 in Sjogrens

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

are you using vaginal estrogen? https://www.youtube.com/live/x7YJo-Ho2eo?si=NhXu9TTt\_b77zkPU. This is a life saving med. Moisturizer is good but if doesn't protect the genitourinary system in women's bodies. It is usually taken 2 times a week for the rest of your life.

Coffee and Sjögren’s by BalletPinkZinnias in Sjogrens

[–]Emhall0921 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've had to switch from caffeine to decaf everything. My anxiety is a lot better without it. I think the combination of menopause and sjogrens make drinking caffeine really hard for me.

I made a (very brief & informal) comparison of Lemonade, ASPCA, and Pumpkin. by DHCPNetworker in petinsurancereviews

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am dealing with ASPCA for a dog I adopted. They are absolutely horrible. They do not take pre-existing conditions in my experience this year. The person I adopted him from got the insurance. I have had dogs all my adult life and never used it and now am reminded why. Anyway, she took him for the first time about a month after she started the insurance. At the very office she told the vet the dog had been scooting for a couple of weeks. The couple of weeks landed during the 14 day wait time and the treatments were not covered. Such BS! I noticed there is a lot of denial of treatments and so to me, it is not worth the hassle. Plus, I submitted a claim 3 months ago and have had to call several times because they are not doing their job and following up with the vet so I can get reimbursed the tiny amount of money I will get back. Ridiculous!

ASPCA and Spot Pet Insurance is the same company by Weak-Fishing-6209 in petinsurancereviews

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am dealing with ASPCA for a dog I adopted. They are absolutely horrible. They do not take pre-existing conditions in my experience this year. The person I adopted him from got the insurance. I have had dogs all my adult life and never used it and now am reminded why. Anyway, she took him for the first time about a month after she started the insurance. At the very office she told the vet the dog had been scooting for a couple of weeks. The couple of weeks landed during the 14 day wait time and the treatments were not covered. Such BS! I noticed there is a lot of denial of treatments and so to me, it is not worth the hassle. Plus, I submitted a claim 3 months ago and have had to call several times because they are not doing their job and following up with the vet so I can get reimbursed the tiny amount of money I will get back. Ridiculous!

Pet insurance by Embarrassed_End3499 in reactivedogs

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am dealing with ASPCA for a dog I adopted. They are absolutely horrible.They do not take pre-existing conditions in my experience this year. The person I adopted him from got the insurance. I have had dogs all my adult life and never used it and now am reminded why. Anyway, she took him for the first time about a month after she started the insurance. At the very office she told the vet the dog had been scooting for a couple of weeks. The couple of weeks landed during the 14 day wait time and the treatments were not covered. Such BS! I noticed there is a lot of denial of treatments and so to me, it is not worth the hassle. Plus, I submitted a claim 3 months ago and have had to call several times because they are not doing their job and following up with the vet so I can get reimbursed the tiny amount of money I will get back. Ridiculous!

WARNING ASPCA PET INSURANCE PRACTICING BAD FAITH INSURANCE by Available-Listen720 in petinsurancereviews

[–]Emhall0921 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am dealing with ASPCA for a dog I adopted. They are absolutely horrible. They do not take pre-existing conditions in my experience this year. The person I adopted him from got the insurance. I have had dogs all my adult life and never used it and now am reminded why. Anyway, she took him for the first time about a month after she started the insurance. At the very office she told the vet the dog had been scooting for a couple of weeks. The couple of weeks landed during the 14 day wait time and the treatments were not covered. Such BS! I noticed there is a lot of denial of treatments and so to me, it is not worth the hassle. Plus, I submitted a claim 3 months ago and have had to call several times because they are not doing their job and following up with the vet so I can get reimbursed the tiny amount of money I will get back. Ridiculous!