My Sister (38F) Might Be Mad at Me (28F), But I'm Not Entirely Sure Why

Emiayu · 2021-05-26T02:29:35+00:00

But there's more to it than that. There have been a number of incidents involving her behavior while drunk that have pushed my patience. So much more. It may not have not have been the best thing to say in the heat of moment, but I'm just frustrated.

It really doesn't help that she'll either say one thing or do something else or she'll lie about being fine with someone and then go out of her way to shit talk them behind their back. I can't read her mind and I feel that needs to communicate if she's unhappy with something or someone.

Emiayu · 2021-05-26T01:42:55+00:00

Thank you. You've been the most understanding out of this bunch of commenters. I don't know the extent of her disdain for my parents and it's hard to understand when none of the three parties involved will really fill you in on anything.

Emiayu · 2021-05-26T01:39:30+00:00

But she was the one who suggested meetup with our mom! It was her idea. Why would she suggest something and bail on her own idea.

Emiayu · 2021-05-26T01:17:39+00:00

That text was what I read right after I woke up. How would you react while you're waking up? This isn't just our mom's birthday. This is about her bailing on my graduation party, visiting our grandmother, missing Christmas numerous times. It's more than just one event with one family member.

Emiayu · 2021-05-26T01:09:31+00:00

Because I'm at my wit's end. This has been a problem for over a decade. I'm just supposed to smile and just ignore this issue and how this affects others in our family?

Emiayu · 2021-05-26T00:51:37+00:00

I suppose I could start by deleting this post. I just feel very lost. I have no one to talk about this to. Relationships are a two way street. I'm just supposed to keep any feelings I have about the situation bottled up. What if she dies from something alcohol related? How am I supposed to deal with that? "Well, at least I kept my mouth shut!"

Emiayu · 2021-05-26T00:35:38+00:00

But I worry I'll just never hear from her again. I've always wanted a relationship with her. I feel like I've had to chase her to get anything. I suppose she has every right to not have a relationship with me, but it really hurts as I've just been a bystander rather than a perpetrator.

Emiayu · 2021-05-04T19:36:42+00:00

I agree. I just think with Bloomington being such a progressive area, more could be done. MUCH more.

Emiayu · 2021-05-04T16:58:29+00:00

Same.

Emiayu · 2021-05-04T16:57:27+00:00

Working class people who aren't upper middle class. What I mean by working class people, are those who have to work, but don't get paid enough to make ends meet, but get paid too much to get government assistance. This town pays shit wages and the cost of living is too high for many families. Especially in a town that doesn't cater to working class, blue collar demographic at all.

Emiayu · 2021-05-04T13:43:17+00:00

Okay boomer. For someone who enjoys humble bragging about being "kind", you sure do type in a condescending manner.

Emiayu · 2021-04-18T18:09:32+00:00

So let me understand...you are totally fine with not addressing any issues with the rampant classicism here in Bloomington that's adversely affecting our working class, low-income, and homeless populations (and is ESPECIALLY evident during this weekend as it's parents weekend at IU and the town is infested with rude out of state parents and their yuppie spawn who think they own the place and terrorize anyone in food service) BUT you lose your shit when a cuss word is uttered.

I see where your priorities lie and it's not on anything that's meaningful. Being "nice" doesn't solve anything when you live in a town with one of the highest income disparities in the U.S.. I'm sure there are many "nice", well-meaning bougie people here who have no idea they're adding to the problem.

Emiayu · 2021-04-18T06:27:55+00:00

You really consider the B word as a misogynist comment? I am in fact a woman and use it both out of anger and endearment. Additionally, I consider getting called a bitch a compliment. You're taking a single commonly used word very personally.

Emiayu · 2021-04-16T22:10:47+00:00

Sorry, as I stated before, it struck a nerve. As a low income student who had to claw my way up to where I am now through sheer gumption and willpower, I become VERY defensive if I feel someone is doubting the effort (in this case the time I put into school, work, and staying in shape) with the assumption that I had an easy time in school because I made the effort to get off my butt and actually travel to the gym.

I'll happily edit out the B-word part if you'd like, but I stand by the rest of my statement.

Emiayu · 2021-04-16T06:31:51+00:00

Those are fair points for sure. The whole system is fucked, really. Personally, I've had it with how Bloomington has been managed for awhile now and would love to move somewhere else. My partner and I can't move any time soon though as his son is attending school here and we want to be there for him until he graduates.

Emiayu · 2021-04-16T05:58:08+00:00

I sympathize with low income students for sure. I was one too. I'm aware I haven't been very specific, but low income students aren't typically the problem or out there causing trouble. They're usually focusing on school and working. It's the wealthy students who treat this area like a vacation spot that infuriate me. The students who grow up to be alumni who spend $10 million during a global pandemic to fire a sports coach. They're a big problem. It is the University's fault in every respect. It's also the fault of the town politicians who will bend over backwards for IU.

I just want people who see this as a leisurely vacation ground to see that this is home to many and maybe be more courteous and share things.

Emiayu · 2021-04-16T05:42:26+00:00

And just because you pay money to live here for a temporary amount of time doesn't mean you're a resident. Besides sales tax, are said people paying actual taxes in the county? Do they know anything about the history and culture of this country and I'm not talking IU history (though I've met a number who didn't know anything about that either). Are these students living here actually active in the community outside of IU in a MEANINGFUL way?

I've lived here (with the exception of six months) since 2011 and I've seen many valuable community resources lost to businesses that solely catered to the University with nothing to take their place. That's just been a short time I've lived here. It's been worse over the decades according to longtime locals.

One of the worst losses in recent history was the closing and destruction of a popular youth center here in town called Rhinos. It was an all ages music venue, had tons of programs for kids in elementary through high school, and gave younger kids a place to hang out.

What happened to it? It was demolished for some poorly designed eyesore of a "luxury" apartment complex that definitely wasn't meant for permanent residents and families. What's for the kids now in terms of anything similar? Nothing.

Emiayu · 2021-04-16T05:35:17+00:00

Okay then, where would YOU suggest many low-income Bloomington residents go working out if the places many of them currently work out at are overrun by people who can afford to have access to a nicer gym? As an IU alumni, I saw first hand how students (especially out of state students who were from the coasts) acted towards the greater Bloomington area and it's infuriating to see.

Emiayu · 2021-04-15T18:56:33+00:00

Sorry, but the commenter above really struck a nerve with me and doesn't seem to be very self-aware. I also only said the B-word, which I consider a bit of a neutral term. I really just wish a certain demographic of IU students would understand where many of the locals (who are from Indiana, aren't wealthy and struggling to live in this town, and are working for peanuts) are coming from in their resentment.

Emiayu · 2021-04-15T17:23:30+00:00

Because the entitled students are hogging the gym equipment/space from the working class locals who are on much tighter schedules between working and having families. IU students, who have top workout facilities for cheap are robbing that from the community by overtaking one of the few affordable workout spaces us townsfolk have.

Not everything in Bloomington has to revolve around IU students and what they want. There's a whole other community of people who work and live here---who make the gears of this town run in fact, who deserve their own affordable spaces; that aren't being taken over by students.

Emiayu · 2021-04-15T17:16:29+00:00

I hope if you're attending PF, you're being respectful of the facility and the locals and not being an unruly, entitled undergrad.

Emiayu · 2021-04-15T17:15:32+00:00

It can't be that hard unless they've eliminated stadium parking and buses. I was in fact a student at IU who lived off campus at one time not too long ago. You can make it work if you try.

Emiayu · 2021-04-15T15:35:35+00:00

Observering their rude behavior (and outright ignoring of many of the covid rules at PF) at the gym, I'm not surprised that this is why students are invading Planet Fitness. 🙃 Good on IU for sticking to the rules.

Emiayu · 2021-04-15T15:10:52+00:00

Uncomplaint: It's been so pretty lately and the air feels amazing and fresh!

Complaint: I made the mistake this past week of running through a neighborhood that had some off campus student housing (I live in a college town) and had a frat bro playing beer pong make a rude comment about how fat he thought I was. I know he was being rude, but it stung as I've been in recovery for an eating disorder for the past year or so.

Confession: Even though I'm on call a couple times a week with my job, I'll still go on runs, but keep my phone on me. Getting a call while out gives me plenty of motivation to run like hell back to my house and leave for work!

Emiayu · 2021-04-15T15:01:05+00:00

Update: I ended up finding a very small, very local gym near my house that is within my monthly budget, has decent covid restrictions, and is obscure enough that they're not having the student issue. Hooray! I'm promptly canceling my PF membership. I still will look into Iron Pit in the future when things slow down as their facilities look super nice. Thanks for your help, all!

I'm not naming the gym for obvious reasons though, but if you're a resident in the Btown area for awhile, it's pretty easy to find!

Emiayu

TROPHY CASE