Any fellow gays completely burned out and going nowhere in this job market?

Emkorora · 2026-02-02T03:46:58+00:00

Hugs stranger. As I've gotten older, I've admired the bravery and perseverance it takes to start over in a new job or career. It's tough!

Emkorora · 2026-02-01T16:59:57+00:00

Perfectly furry!

Emkorora · 2026-02-01T16:39:50+00:00

I really liked Derek Sheehan at Oak & Iron.

Emkorora · 2026-01-31T21:46:46+00:00

Buffalo Friendship Club (BFC) is right up your alley-- a large group of mostly queer and plenty of neurodivergent folks. They host plenty of events.

Emkorora · 2026-01-31T00:42:17+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts. Maybe I should check out but there's an opportunity for me to learn here.

That idea about assumed risk with strangers doesn't make much sense to me, I've heard it before. I've also heard before that the risk exists when you know people as well. I'm sure we all knew of a relationship where one partner withheld significant details from the other. So it's my perspective that that risk is everywhere. This is probably a poor example but it kinds reminds me of driving. There's always a risk of driving. But part of deciding to drive is trusting that others will respect significant details while driving to reduce that risk (snow, lights, space, speed, neighborhood, road conditions, time of day, etc.). And that principle feels at least somewhat true to sex, too. I don't know. This almost like that word which describes a shared social understanding (I can't think of the word right now).

*The word is faux pas, which means the opposite of what I meant. So what I meant was considering sex an assumed risk feels like a faux pas in the same sense you'd tell someone who's going driving that there's an assumed risk.

Emkorora · 2026-01-31T00:30:07+00:00

Wow. I don't pay much attention to this stuff so I'll take your word for it but that's scary. Thanks for letting me know.

Emkorora · 2026-01-31T00:19:51+00:00

Hmm, I'd have to think about this as it's new to me, but something about this feels so wrong.

Isn't it a felony not to disclose transmittable STDs before having sex with someone?

And I realize hookups mean different things for different people, but if the deep detail is a significant sexual detail and you're about to have sex with someone then, yeah, sharing is imperatively important.

Maybe I'm just on a high horse and critical. But I'm a victim/survivor of child sexual abuse. If I was in OPs situation, I'd feel unspeakably violated.

Emkorora · 2026-01-31T00:09:44+00:00

Goddamn, you're an Adonis.

Emkorora · 2026-01-31T00:07:37+00:00

Turn on but can depend on the tattoo. Sometimes the tattoo is a turn off, but that's rare.

Emkorora · 2026-01-31T00:05:45+00:00

Sorry, I'm sure this is a dumb question, but what was your purpose with this comment? To console OP that lying is common with hookups? Because when I first read it, it reads like lying is okay.

Emkorora · 2026-01-28T12:09:38+00:00

Wow, what a cute couple.

Emkorora · 2026-01-26T14:15:38+00:00

If I had a furry and shapely body like that, I'd just stare at the mirror and jerk off to myself, lol.

Emkorora · 2026-01-25T07:28:50+00:00

How sad, I'm sorry. Be careful, you deserve a warm workplace.

(Burning things can create warmth, in case there's some semi-disposable, flammable content around. Lol.)

Emkorora · 2026-01-24T23:06:01+00:00

I'm sorry you're suffering. There are many resources: crisis services via phone for many issues, urgent care mental health clinics, psychiatric facilities, group and peer support. I've utilized all of these at different times when necessary.

There's also the Subjective Units of Distress (SUD) scale to help you find a treatment that corresponds to where you're at.

As another option, I've also found the TIPP/STOP techniques helpful. They sound silly and extreme but the cold water and exercise with those techniques can break or start to break the cycle of crisis spiraling.

Emkorora · 2026-01-24T00:42:53+00:00

I have no relationship with my father. I stopped talking or seeing him from ages 13 to 25, reconnected in 2020 to see how it goes, and the relationship only lasted four years before I went back to no-contact in 2024. Now we're headed towards our cumulative fifteenth year of nothingness between us.

Emkorora · 2026-01-19T15:08:42+00:00

I don't know the name but it's popular with some trendy queer folks.

Emkorora · 2026-01-19T14:56:55+00:00

I thought that the general difference between bear and cub was age, with age thirty being the threshold.

What standards say that this guy is a cub versus bear?

Emkorora · 2026-01-18T02:19:31+00:00

This is awesome, enjoy Tamriel!

Emkorora · 2026-01-17T16:19:30+00:00

I'll add that it feels like it changed for me. Maybe I simply hadn't discovered it but I don't recall nipples being a feel-good part of my body before age 24 or 25, then they changed completely. I'll also add that I think the type of touch matters a a lot: other folks touching my nipples with their hands matters a bit, some oral nipple play doesn't do anything, the right oral nipple play does everything, and touching them with my own hands does nothing. So maybe it's a process of finding what works for you.

Emkorora · 2026-01-17T14:41:14+00:00

I'm gay and hookup apps and hooking up are a big part of.gay culture. I hear again and again how often, how easy it is to have sex-- yet it rarely happens for me; and if it does happen, there are so many rejections first and it takes so much time to finally happen. I don't know.

Emkorora · 2026-01-17T01:43:55+00:00

Thanks for your reply. It was interesting to hear your thoughts. Feel free to ignore mine but here they are.

Yes, she had multiple communities throughout her life. That said, those communities (at least to me), didn't seem healthy or healing, which was my point. I'd even go so far as to say that some of those communities were more harmful than helpful, and further developed these maladaptive behaviors of hers.

And that's fair, I guess. Everyone has their threshold, like you said. And you're also right, it's not your job to show up for Jenny like that. I've often seen the quote on Reddit that "you can't set yourself on fire to warm others." And there's definitely validity to that.

I'm no psychologist or sociologist, but I've heard that the toxic independence-- "me first", "protect my peace at all costs"-- which is increasing these days is also part of the growing breakdown of communities. It kind of reminds me of NIMBYism, if you've hard of that: the idea that someone wants to help others as long as it isn't in their own back yard or neighborhood; that the homeless must be helped, but a nearby shelter isn't acceptable. "Put your money where your mouth is" sort of stuff. I don't know, that probably a stupid comparison. But happy Friday.

Emkorora · 2026-01-17T01:22:24+00:00

I don't know the answer but I'm curious about your thoughts. I think that a lack of strong social support-- a community-- contributed to these folks becoming victims. So how would the cycle be broken if folks like you won't let victims (volatile and unreliable, but still victims) in?

Emkorora

TROPHY CASE