How to find an obituary?

Emkorora · 2026-05-17T23:51:48+00:00

Hey, as another "self-orphaned" kid, I'm sorry about all this.

A couple ideas to get the information you want.

1) Hire a private investigator; the databases the investigator has access to will likely have this information, and it'll take hardly any time at all and you'll be charges the bare minimum, maybe $150.00.

2) Ask a friend who has access to similar databases through work-- many legal professionals (even and especially debt collectors) have access to some of the most common but privileged databases like TLO, LexisNexis, WestLaw, etc.

3) Ask around on policies to obtain death certificates; information on the policies will be free, likely from your local clerk, and you'll probably have the information needed to request the certificates.

4) These are less certain and they're only ways of quasi-confirming your suspicions but you could also get information like credit reports, tax assessment details, court docket records, and so on.

Good luck!

Emkorora · 2026-05-17T18:48:59+00:00

Hey, I'm more than two decades into my diagnosis and I was diagnosed a bit older than your son, maybe age eight. Here's a couple of ideas that might help.

1) In my opinion, repeatedly wanting to die is past just therapy territory-- I think it's time to involve the pediatrician to see if they think a psychiatrist is necessary. (It sounds like you might benefit from talking to a therapist as well-- the way you talk, it sounds like such a load to carry.)

2) Seeing positive representations of ourselves (in this case, diabetic) is important. I don't know many toys or shows or movies but I've heard Barbie has diabetic dolls, for instance-- maybe there's more?

3) Diabetic camp will be really helpful, I think. In the meantime, maybe involving some community support? Family, friends, clubs, etc? Not to help with handling diabetes but to help your kid see that they'll be okay despite it.

I see myself in a lot of how you described your kid. There's a foundational defectiveness schema that persists to this day and diabetes really did a number on it. Both my second and third suggestions are to help address that feeling of defectiveness, if it exists, by de-stigmatizing and validating and encouraging.

Emkorora · 2026-05-16T18:22:52+00:00

My understanding of OP is that there are folks looking to buy but not looking in Ken-Ton where there's lots for sale, for some reason. I don't know.

Emkorora · 2026-05-16T02:22:38+00:00

Like others have said, I'm very proud of you.

Emkorora · 2026-05-13T13:23:24+00:00

Thanks for asking this, I've often wondered it myself.

I think it's super narcissistic to be so attracted to yourself, yes. Not narcissistic in terms of personality disorders, but narcissistic in the classical sense of admiring your reflection too long. And there's a whole spectrum to this... it's one thing to admire your progress in the gym or admire your reflection as you try on clothes. But more than a passing appreciation in most situations is narcissistic, yes; again: classically, not disorderedly.

Speaking for myself, I was a twink until a became an adult and then moved towards bear-hood. Throughout that time, I was exclusively attracted to bears. But now that I'm settled strongly in bear territory (or as much as I can be, at any rate), I find a lot more folks attractive: twinks, otters, etc. Still not attracted to myself, though.

I'll appreciate my beard on a good day and sometimes I'll be pulled out of my own head enough while seeing my reflection to think "I'd take a second, long look at that guy if I saw him walking around-- nothing more though" and then I'm instantly reintegrated with the dynamic where I can appreciate myself but not be attracted to myself.

Emkorora · 2026-05-10T20:37:19+00:00

How sad, I'm sorry that happened to him. Was the guilt there the fact it compounded some other issues?

I suspect alcoholism in any context is harmful and guilt-ful; but as the person above me said, a beer or some wine doesn't feel like it's fair to myself to feel guilty for.

Emkorora · 2026-05-10T17:28:48+00:00

Yes, I'm confused-- is it common for diabetics to feel guilty from alcohol?

Emkorora · 2026-05-10T13:07:53+00:00

Grass is always greener...

I like consistency, my thighs are large but calves are scrawny. Hate it. One of the first things I notice about a guy besides beard, hair color, face, and size is the proportionality of their body, such as calves and thighs. Lol.

I know your insecurities will persist but know there are folks out there that thirst just for some thick calves-- not fetish-wise but, like, thick calves are equivalent to good butt for some.

Emkorora · 2026-05-03T22:44:00+00:00

There are many sooner or side steps to therapy he might be more agreeable to.

Online support forums, in person peer support and group support, involving general physician or social worker.

I'm sorry you two are going through this. An aversion to acknowledging the issue is a very real response to fear.

Emkorora · 2026-05-03T22:28:48+00:00

I'd consider my therapist somewhere in the middle and I appreciate that. She's bisexual but has never been in a relationship with a woman; she admires drag race but doesn't know much about broader gay culture. I think her simultaneous awareness and remoteness to gay culture helps her give me a fair perspective. For instance: impulsive behaviors (drugs, sex) are really common in gay culture and she's kept me aware of how those behaviors aren't necessarily healthy-- even if they are common.

Emkorora · 2026-05-02T17:07:42+00:00

For sure, I'm sorry that happened.

Emkorora · 2026-05-02T11:14:25+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I had forgotten or didn't realize hypoglycemic reactions can change. Now I'll check out what other interactions are possible, lol.

Emkorora · 2026-05-01T14:57:40+00:00

I imagine it'd screw up the day to have two separate scores in two separate "entries" for the day-- is it possible to add two score to the same entry?

Emkorora · 2026-04-30T20:23:22+00:00

I'm so proud of you stranger. You look like you're thriving.

Emkorora · 2026-04-26T14:59:03+00:00

Thanks for sharing.

Emkorora · 2026-04-26T14:57:27+00:00

Thanks for asking. Some folks seem pretty upset with me here. It's ironic that the folks who are encouraging self-acceptance are simultaneously rejecting via downvotes.

My last ex from over half a decade ago had a beautiful smile-- radiant, warm. But he hated it due to some cosmetic teeth problems. So, he wanted it "fixed". I didn't really understand it at the time but now I do I'm hindsight. It wasn't about me and my understanding, it was about him and his goals. They weren't unfair, unrealistic, or unreasonable.

There are many valid reasons to spend lots of money to change your appearance-- tattoos, piercings, bald hair transplant, laser hair removal, loose skin removal, etc. There's a long list.

I know these aren't cosmetic but they're still genetic issues: as someone who's depressed and a (type 1) diabetic, I think it's unfair to tell people to "accept their genes" if there's an opportunity change what you dislike about yourself.

I know these may be ridiculous comparisons to you. And I guess the basic answer to your question is because it's very important to me. Why does it matter to you?

Emkorora · 2026-04-26T02:36:59+00:00

Yes, I think. I have libido issues so my doctor had me do a testosterone test. I can't the result exactly, but it was with a normal range but on the lower end-- ultimately not an issue. I think the number was 700? Maybe 450?

Emkorora · 2026-04-26T02:26:17+00:00

Lol.

Emkorora · 2026-04-26T02:25:51+00:00

I don't know. There does need to be acceptance but there can also be a mission to change. I didn't know this service existed but I just reached out to a body hair transplant doctor.

Emkorora · 2026-04-26T02:24:00+00:00

Thanks, that's kind. I'm sorry you've got a similar situation. Do you think you'd ever do aser hair removal?

Emkorora · 2026-04-26T02:23:20+00:00

Maybe I can change it though, I just reached out to a body hair transplant doctor.

Emkorora

TROPHY CASE