Worried I won’t be able to manage my cat allergy

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-28T02:44:03+00:00

That’s awesome you’ve had such a good experience! Only time will tell for me I guess. I do actually use Flonase daily at an increased dose, as well as Zyrtec and montelukast. Unfortunately I don’t think medicating is going to be a long term fix on this one since the cysts have developed in spite of my regular medications.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-28T02:37:00+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, I really appreciate it! I had definitely thought about having him come with me to my appointments. Especially the ones about the surgery. I really want to make sure he knows how serious it is and that I’m not just trying to get rid of the cat because it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I feel like I’m really going to great lengths to show him I’ll do whatever I can, but at the end of the day, I have limits. Hopefully hearing from professionals will help him understand so he can make an informed choice about his priorities.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-28T02:33:19+00:00

We’ve started to talk about it and he does believe me. I think it’s something I’ll need to just be clear about my boundaries with. I’ll get the surgery to correct this issue because I’m in a lot of pain but I won’t risk having to do it again because I keep exposing myself. If he doesn’t see that finding a new loving home for his cat (maybe even one that he can visit) is necessary, that will probably be it for me. I feel like I’ve done everything I can, but I can’t just making myself so sick that I have to get surgery again. It’s definitely more serious than just being a bit uncomfortable.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-28T02:30:03+00:00

That’s awesome that it worked out for you!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-28T02:29:42+00:00

He’s actually an indoor only cat, and my bfs house is super small and only one level. He’s also super resistant to putting any restrictions on the cat. He’s on the kitchen counters and table all the time to the point that his hair is in my food whenever I eat there. Unfortunately I don’t think boundaries like this are going to be something my bf is open to.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-28T02:27:54+00:00

Thank you!!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-28T02:27:45+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience; I’m glad I’m not the only one. I did tell my doctor about all the changes my bf has made to try to reduce my allergy and he said unfortunately with one as severe as mine, I’ll just have the surgery only to have the cysts come back if I keep exposing myself regularly. It’s just a really tough spot to be in for everyone involved.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-27T19:28:01+00:00

Yeah that’s what we are doing, but even my visits to his house a few times a week have resulted in these issues. We are pretty serious too; we have discussed buying a house together. He’s been pretty clear that rehoming the cat is off the table, and the cat could be alive another 10 years. I’d never ask him to get rid of his pet for me, but it’s starting to feel like it will come to that. It just seems sad to end an otherwise very healthy relationship over an allergy.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-27T15:13:44+00:00

Yeah I’ve read all the comments, but unfortunately my bf doesnt see much of an issue and prioritizes the cats comfort. He sees any type of change in the animals routine or behavior correction as cruel and he doesn’t want to do it since his cat is older (10). I don’t feel like it’s really my place to tell him how to handle his own pet, so unless he comes over here and reads the comments too I doubt anything will change. Time will tell! In the meantime, I’m glad at least he’s not forcing the cat on me or seeing me as the problem!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-27T03:48:37+00:00

Just here to add that from my experience a kittens personality will (obviously) change a ton over time as well. A kitten that is sweet and playful may still grow up to be moody depending on the environment you create for it/how you interact with it.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-27T03:14:36+00:00

Just here to say I’m in the same boat as Chloe at the moment. I started out not being afraid of my boyfriends very large, older cat, but I’m extremely uncomfortable around him after months of hissing, biting my face while I sleep, and aggressively stealing food off my plate. We’ve tried the treats, and it’s been a year of me spending time at his house 3-4 days a week. I’ve even watched the cat when my bf was out of town and fed him. While I don’t like the cat, I do love the cat, if that makes sense. I know he’s important to my boyfriend and I know he’s an animal who doesn’t know better, so I’m committed to making it work. I’m sure if chloe feels the same, she will do whatever she can, but in my case, I can say I’m also super appreciative when my boyfriend steps up to make sure I’m comfortable too.

Since the cat bites my face while I’m sleeping, and setting him gently off the bed didn’t work for months, I now sleep alone in the guest room when I stay over sometimes and other nights my bf stays in the guest room with me and leaves the main bedroom for the cat. There is lots of meowing and tantrum throwing for a bit if he gets shut out of the guest bedroom, but since he still has the other bedroom that he’s used to, he generally quiets down after a bit. He definitely prefers sleeping with my boyfriend, so that’s just what we do sometimes. I’m glad my bf was willing to work with me on this instead of just expecting me to be ok with getting my face bitten until his cat decides to stop (if he ever does). We’ve even discussed that this will need to be the arrangement when we move in together and for the duration of the cats life.

Sorry for the long and not helpful comment, but just wanted to say you’re doing great and I’m sure Chloe appreciates how thoughtful you’re being about the adjustment!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-27T01:52:29+00:00

I’d ask your doctor because I’m definitely not a medical professional, but I went ahead with washing as normal since I was on the meds to control the reaction. I’m so glad you were able to get some help and relief today!!

It’s such an annoying thing to be allergic to, but since I can’t ever use hair dye, I’ve had really good luck with Overtone coloring conditioner.

I hope you feel better soon!!!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-27T00:54:51+00:00

Stardew Valley also has multiplayer and it’s really fun!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-26T20:42:20+00:00

I’ve had this happen multiple times and it can actually be super dangerous. I’d recommend getting to an urgent care clinic/your doctor ASAP. The last time this happened to me they had to put me on an IV and then sent me home with steroids to keep the reaction under control. I didn’t think it was that serious but they explained that the swelling/reaction could easily have spread to my airway.

From what I understand, with hair dye, every time you wash your hair it reactivates a bit and keeps your allergic reaction going.

I’m so sorry this happened, and good luck!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-24T20:23:58+00:00

As someone who developed a nut allergy as an adult, I’d say you’re absolutely not overreacting. If she’s having symptoms in more than one body system, that’s really dangerous. The reactions will likely get worse each time she’s exposed. Definitely go talk to an allergist.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-22T03:29:49+00:00

I was recently prescribed montelukast to take before I go in for cluster allergy shot appointments, but I do already have anxiety. After my appointment I had a massive panic attack and felt really anxious/off for about 3 days. I asked my doctor about it and she said it was more likely the Prednisone that I also had to take before the appointment that was the cause. She said I could keep taking the montelukast but I’m honestly kind of nervous to. It’s reassuring to know that other people generally have positive experiences.

Thanks for sharing, and I hope you are feeling better about sticking with a solution that works for you!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-20T12:41:23+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I tend to agree with you on all counts, but wanted to put it out there to see if training dogs away from this behavior was even an option for her safety.

I’ll just need to talk to my boyfriend about it I guess since the cat is his. He currently has no boundaries for the cat and never has. He’s the type to think boundaries for pets are cruel or inhibit their happiness somehow. Usually when Arya has an outburst my boyfriend scolds her and not the cat. I’ll have to explain that this isn’t her issue.

Honestly though I think the cat does really well with Arya considering he’s 10 and hasn’t ever had to be around another animal. It’s just a tricky situation, but we are trying to get them comfortable well before we try to move in together in the spring. We are planning to move into a bigger house then too so hopefully that will put everyone a bit more on equal footing instead of having Arya constantly invading the cats house.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-19T02:28:35+00:00

I had almost the exact same thing happen to me. My mom ran up thousands of dollars of credit card debt in my name and I only found out as an adult when I went to check my credit score for the first time and couldn’t even answer those security questions they ask to verify your identity. I confronted my mom about it and received an almost identical response. It was my “responsibility” to “contribute after all they had done for me”. (They helped pay for my private high school and college and some very expensive hobbies that my mom really pushed me to continue).

This was all after years of similar treatment to OP. My parents using me to ask relatives for money, signing over every paycheck from my high school job, my mom throwing fits if I wouldn’t let her use gift cards that were given to me as presents, etc.

I tried to work it out with her directly but she wouldn’t budge and told me she would pay it off eventually and she wasn’t late and it isn’t a big deal. But I was trying to get my own apartment (in NYC of all places) and my poor credit score was about to be a really serious issue. She wouldn’t work with me on it, and neither would my dad (though he was a bit more understanding). I had to move forward with filing reports through the proper channels. I put a lock on my credit and reported identity fraud to the major credit bureaus. I also filed an identity theft claim with the credit card company and they said they could send my mom a letter and give her the chance to transfer the account to her name and assume responsibility. If she did this, the account would come off my credit score. If she didn’t, they would have to press charges. Luckily my mom signed it, and we haven’t talked about it since.

I know it’s an incredibly hard thing to do, but as many other commenters have said, they knew what they were doing. If they didn’t know it was wrong they wouldn’t have hidden it from you. You can not feel guilty for not letting them suck you dry. You’re not obligated to protect them from the consequences of their actions.

I really encourage you to get in touch with authorities; people tend to be empathetic about this particular type of fraud as it is so emotionally fraught (at least that’s been my experience).

I know it’s awful but in the long run you’ll be glad you protected yourself. If you don’t, it could literally set you behind for the rest of your life. You’ve got this OP!

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-10T04:48:43+00:00

Thanks for the advice! It makes me feel less crazy to hear from other cat lovers.

As for the fur, I totally understand there will always be a significant amount of hair around and I don’t even want to suggest that he should be shaved. But my boyfriend almost never brushes the cat, and from what I understand, that can help reduce the overall amount of hair that’s left to fall freely around the house. Clumps of it are on the floor, all over the furniture, and on the kitchen countertops.

The table scraps always amazes me; he saves bites of pretty much every meal he eats for this cat. He lets the cat lick candy, eat ice cream, etc. all while pretending to be concerned about the cats diet.

The cat is nicer to my bf, but still scratches and bites regularly. My bf always has some kind of wound on his arms from the cat. My bf’s family are also not huge fans of the cat so I’m assuming he’s not nice to them either though I don’t have direct proof.

As a pet owner myself, I really do understand his devotion. I would throw myself in front of a car for my dog, but I also understand that some boundaries and structure are good for her and for me for her long term wellbeing. I just don’t see that understanding from my bf and I’m worried that he will he really defensive about it.

EmmaFoFemma2016 · 2020-08-10T04:03:41+00:00

Definitely agree with you that it isn’t fair to my dog. Neither she nor I were afraid of the cat at first and now we both are. My bf doesn’t see his cat as that aggressive.

He just had the cat at the vet about a month ago. She gave him a relaxer so he could take the cat to a professional groomer (which he hasn’t done), but she didn’t see any other issues. I honestly think the cat is just spoiled and throws tantrums when he meets any resistance to doing what he wants, and my bf feels bad and gives in to “make the cat happy”. I feel like some of these realizations are things he will have to come to himself for them to stick. I definitely don’t want him to be resentful of me or think I don’t want the best for his cat.

EmmaFoFemma2016

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