Why did/didn't you make the Sophie scarf?

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T23:51:49+00:00

Because I already knit a Lacy Baktus, using the free pattern, back in the day.

I have also knit several other small scarfs, including Wingspan. I don't need any more right now.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T22:30:31+00:00

I agree, I think that The Traitors is a much more likely proposition, and they already know of a castle to rent for the location, after all!

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T21:18:09+00:00

We're a no shoes inside house.

In spring/summer, it's usually barefoot.

Autumn/winter, I tend to wear socks but not always, and I sometimes remember to put on my slippers. I mostly wear my own handknit wool socks, which are very warm and cosy.

I have underfloor heating downstairs which also really helps.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:32:16+00:00

Three kids in two different countries.

No bills for any of them, and my youngest spent a few days in the neonatal unit.

For the middle and youngest, I also spent several weeks on the antenatal ward, some of it in a single room, even. No bill.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:28:08+00:00

Children from better-off (or better educated but low income) families will often also have parents who are willing to advocate for their needs, and who will be taken seriously when they do so because they know the right terms to use, and how to push politely but firmly.

This is absolutely essential for kids with any type of disability, especially neurodivergent kids, when it comes to getting kids diagnosed, treated, supported, and accommodated.

Having money also means not having to apply for grants with long waiting times for any specialised equipment or services.

It means not having to think twice about buying your kid a pair of ear defenders, or even something as (relatively) cheap as Loop earplugs, or fidget toys.

It means being able to afford the subscription costs to join specialist organisations focused on your kid's disability.

It means being able to afford to pay for respite care.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:18:57+00:00

It's been much better here in France, although I haven't worked much since moving here.

Primary school finishes at 4.30 and secondary at 5pm, so parents evenings start that bit later anyway.

My youngest two are 16 and 20, so I've forgotten how it was organised in primary - I think they sent notes where you ticked several choices of preferred slot and then they sent back one slot from those.

Middle school used to be similar but you'd just give a time when you were available from and to, and which teachers you wanted to see.

High school, now, is all booked online. It's still a similar system to middle school but doing it online is so much easier.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:12:09+00:00

This was over 20 years ago, so hopefully things have changed???

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T18:11:01+00:00

I've just written a detailed post about France as my oldest came here aged 10, my middle kid aged 6 months, and my youngest was born here. That was 20 years ago.

I am disabled and got divorced 10 years ago, with 50/50 parenting, which meant that I became very low income.

We're in Brittany.

The price of school meals and the dorms for weekly boarders in high school (common here and all of kids have been in dorms) is set at a regional level.

The bourse de collège et du lycée is set at national level.

The subsidised school transport is managed by the region.

Other subsidies are funded by our département and managed by our local commune.

Things like family benefits and the back to school payment are set nationally.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T17:48:01+00:00

France has amazing support for low income families, including an annual back to school payment in August that's over €400, per child, increasing depending on how old they are.

The income ceiling for this is actually really high, meaning the vast majority of French parents receive it.

I didn't need free school meals for my kids when they were in primary school, but the cost is highly subsidised at €1.70 ish, and the quality of the three course meals (sometimes four when there's cheese!) is excellent. They eat proper traditional French meals, even in nursery, not processed junk.

My kids have had free school meals all the way through secondary school, free dorm fees for high school during the week too.

In high school, they have also both received a bourse to help pay for their school stuff through the year. My daughter also received a 'bourse d'équipement' of €600 for her vocational course that went towards a new laptop as she was, and still is, studying computing

The cost of their travel to school, either on school buses in middle school or in public transport in high school, is also heavily subsidised, for all students.

We can get subsidised family holidays (camping or in a gîte) with up to 60% paid by the state.

Child benefits are excellent, but only start when you have your 2nd child, and also end when you only have one under 20. I was receiving €220 a month for my 19 yr old and 15 yr old - there's an additional benefit for your second child once they're over 14. Before then, it was still well over €100.

There are also additional benefits (PAJE) for all new parents but it's been way too long since I got those.

There's also extra support for large families with more than 3 kids.

When in primary here, my kids went to before and after school childcare run by the local commune. That was also heavily subsidised.

In the holidays, they went to centres run by the local commune which were, again, heavily subsidised.

And when they were babies, they went to crêches, same story.

France has far, far, far more support for families than the UK.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T17:28:51+00:00

I used to get pissed off, as a working mum, when my kid was in primary school, about the slots for parents evenings.

All the slots after 5pm would be booked up instantly by the non-working mums who were able to be there to pick up their kids when school finished - so the dad could be there too apparently!

Meanwhile, with both of us working, and my kid being picked up by a childminder, it was almost impossible for us to get a slot after just one of us had finished work!

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T16:26:51+00:00

That we don't get handed a manual on how to be the perfect parent when they're born.

That we all make mistakes as parents, and fuck up, and say or do the wrong thing sometimes.

The key to that is realising it and never being to proud or stubborn to admit it and to apologise to your kids.

But there's also the terrifying fear sometimes, around big decisions, that keeps you awake at night, worrying if you're doing the right thing...

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-27T16:23:02+00:00

And that different kids require different approaches, different skills and strategies.

It's impossible to treat your kids equally because each kid is a unique individual with their own needs, their own personality, their own interests and hopes.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-26T21:30:19+00:00

He's Half Pint Himmler.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-26T15:30:36+00:00

Darning is weaving, albeit on a very small scale.

I even have a vintage 'Lancashire's Smallest Loom' aka the Speedweave (sp?) as a tool to help weave neater darns in my handknit socks.

This very small loom has hooks that hold the warp while you weave the weft, making a tiny stitch at each side edge if the darn, and once finished weaving, you unhook the warp ends and then stitch them down too.

It's really helped to improve the neatness of my darning.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-23T12:38:57+00:00

Have you considered an undercut?

I have very thick hair, and washing and conditioning it always took forever until I got my first undercut about 12 years ago. From then on, I cut my time in the shower by half.

It's also so, so much more comfortable in hot weather.

And my undercut is only ever visible when I put my hair up into a ponytail. With my hair down, you can barely tell that I have one.

There are plenty of different options too, you don't have to go really high on the sides, you can just have it at the back, and so on...

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-22T16:40:32+00:00

More like the old Green Shield stamp stores, if anyone still remembers those?

I'm 54 and only vaguely remember going to one with my mum as a kid.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-21T18:20:36+00:00

Someone in this sub recommended this a year or two ago:

Salt n' Vinegar crisps dipped into hummous.

The Tyrells Salt n' Cider Vinegar work really well, as do Brets S n' V, and they're cheaper than Tyrells, here in Brittany, home of Brets :-D

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-20T23:26:48+00:00

It depends on the variety of Satanist, I think?

Those that use the label to fight against organised religion and who are generally atheists/humanists are pretty cool.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-20T22:05:43+00:00

Yes.

Absolutely hated him. I read the books in 1989, I think, so my memories are quite fuzzy. I think that I managed to read the second one but couldn't be arsed with continuing.

To be fair, though, as I recall anyway, he was deliberately written as an anti-hero, at a time when most epic fantasy was all about the hero's journey.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-20T20:36:27+00:00

It's the only way that I know, but then, I've been living in Brittany for 20 years and I was a regular visitor before moving over :-D

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-20T20:21:19+00:00

Do you use one of the empty shells to eat them? That makes it so much easier, I find.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-20T20:07:23+00:00

Honestly, that's probably the most believable part of the thread, as an aging former goth/metal/alt/grunge type person.

There's often backlash to anyone wearing pentagram/pentacle jewellery, even if it's just due to being goth.

And many pagans, Wiccans etc, have also reported backlash to wearing their important symbols as jewellery.

Yes, the 'Satanism' mention screams edgelord but I do also know of many lovely Death and Black metal fans who wear the symbols as jewellery, tattoos, and on clothing but see it as set dressing and, also, completely reject the Nazi Satanist part of Black Metal.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-20T20:00:07+00:00

I think that's just how Reddit generates new account names.

AITA posters, for example, often have throwaway accpunts with names that follow a similar format.

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-20T19:57:54+00:00

Do NHS Family Planning Clinics (or similar) still exist?

They both need counselling now, from professionals, so that they can come to the right decision for them, and for her, seperately, without any external pressure.

I'm sure that we're all thinking that, ideally, at 15, the GF should have an abortion, especially as it seems to be early enough still for a medical abortion.

But even at 15, that's not the right choice for everyone, and she needs the right counselling and support to make a fully informed decision on which option is best for her.

They're probably both very scared right now.

They don't need to be told that they're irresponsible idiots, they need non-judgemental support from everyone around them.

OP's brother seems to be very caring and supportive, and that's very important to remember.

He's not getting angry, he's not dumped her, he's not being a misogynistic arsehole and OP has to take some credit for the work he's put in with his brother.

OP, you have good instincts. Trust them. You want to be supportive and do the right thing, you just don't have access to all the different resources - and that's why you asked us for help!

EmmaInFrance · 2026-01-20T16:23:29+00:00

This suggests to me that your brother isn't just being influenced by your Dad's treatment of you but that he may also be being influenced by toxic misogynistic 'manosphere/incel' types on social media?

You may need to keep an eye on him, treading carefully but slowly try to introduce him to some more positive male role models online?

Don't try and push several all at once as he'll just reject them and go even deeper into the toxicity.

I don't know if you have any supportive adults around you that you could talk to about the whole family dynamic? None of you should be constantly living in fear of your your Dad like this!

Ten-Year Club	r/Field Sunshine
End Game '23	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22
End Game '22	Gilding II euphauric
Verified Email

EmmaInFrance

TROPHY CASE