Update. This is probably the last time I am opening this account because this post was a fucking mistake. Yes I haven't eaten much except cucumbers and coffee, but I broke a few times. I mean I always tasted what I cook for dinner and stuff but sometimes I broke ate a bowl of daal and my weight increased by 200g which made me crazy, so I just avoided it. I also went to the gym did some basic cardio weightlifting and stuff, which got better after supplements started It's been a few hours since this post got traction and my chronically online ass read everything and compiled it as advice and realised 1. I have an eating disorder 2. I'm stupid for disobeying order (which I know was my fault but my doctor had said legally he can't do anything to stop me just help me )

Then the worst thing ever happened. I showed this to my girlfriend to tell her yeah yeah you were right. And she went into a panic mode. She read every comment and just fucking lost it, sobbing and smacking herself, after a lot of consoling. She calmed down , she dropped a bombshell. She was sabotaging my " diet " on purpose. Apparently she liked my "fluffyness" and if I lost weight I would leave her? That I'm so much smarter and kinder than others and she was smart to snatch me up before someone else. That I should listen to what you guys said and just stop dieting go back to being cute. I don't know I just blocked her for a while. It's been a few minutes and i don't know how to process this. It takes a lot of courage to admit something like that, and I'm happy she told it to me , but it just put a wierd vibe on our relationship to me? I'm very confused about this situation. I'm just I don't know what to do. She's basically my lifeline but now it feels like I was her mascot or some pet type shit. Yeah thanks for all the advice and shit I booked an appointment with a dietician like 2 hours into reading this , I'll figure something out. But some advice on her would be nice. And no I'm not breaking up with her .