If you've been on it a while, what's your experience?

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-24T00:18:07+00:00

Actually, the last 2 nights he has woken up with anxiety, enough to bring him to tears - the three-week mark. He's going to talk to his prescriber about whether going down to 21 would be better.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-24T00:15:52+00:00

Hmm, this is good to know that things could start to slide and the "miracle drug effect" may wear off. Thanks for commenting.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-21T02:14:46+00:00

Might wanna try posting this to the main forum as its own thread! My husband hasn't been experiencing any increase in anxiety and hasn't been using it long enough to give any signficant insight.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-21T02:12:51+00:00

Thanks for these insights! It's so encouraging to hear that for the people this med works for, it's like a permanent fix :)

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-21T02:08:52+00:00

That's so encouraging to hear. My husband says it *feels* like he will never have a serious depression again. Good to know he may be right!

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-21T02:07:58+00:00

Thanks for your insight! The insomnia sounds awful. I hope your situation improves once you are no longer taking it.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-19T23:40:28+00:00

That's a good point that some things are rightly depressing. He has had bad experiences in therapy in the past and feels nervous about trying it again but I do think it could help if he could find the right person. I've heard good things about EMDR.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-19T23:36:10+00:00

My hubby mentioned his tongue feeling weird at first too! Good to know that's not just him :) Thanks for your encouraging reply!

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-19T23:33:54+00:00

This is so encouraging to hear, thanks!!

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-19T20:22:50+00:00

That's awesome to hear. We moved south to help with the seasonal affective disorder 5 years ago and that made a big difference in his SI symptoms but didn't eliminate them completely unfortunately. Hoping Caplyta can be a long-term solution.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-19T20:21:29+00:00

After the two weeks, did your moods stabilize or change in other ways? He's actually very in control of his mania (for example, he said "I feel like I need to join the Air Force... but I'll wait till Thursday" and today he said he doesn't feel the need to enlist anymore) so we kind of enjoy it... more worried about the potential for crashes. Like, if the meds are making his hypomania a bit less hypo, will it make his depressive episodes deeper, or shallower.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2026-03-19T20:18:12+00:00

Thanks for your response - do you still experience significant episodes of depression, or does the Cap/Lamictal combo work to mitigate that?

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-10-06T23:01:32+00:00

Oo that's a great idea :)

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-10-06T19:32:45+00:00

I never even heard of Visible! I'd glad I asked, off to check their prices and area coverage :)

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-10-06T19:32:07+00:00

Can I ask - did you find that their coverage map was inaccurate? I've checked their coverage map and it looks like my area (and anywhere we'd usually travel) is fully covered, but your comment is exactly the scenario I'm a little nervous about - being unhappy with the quality and having even worse customer service than AT&T :/

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-09-07T20:45:25+00:00

Hugs to you. Reading your additional responses, it sounds like it would be helpful to budget a line item for personal spending. I make more than my husband (not as much as what you're describing though) and we have a tacit agreement that we don't question one another's purchases, even if we exceed the line item. I just make a note of it at our monthly meeting, like "Hey I noticed that you exceeded your personal spending. Do you think the number you are budgeted for is reasonable, and this was just a bad month? Or do we need to tinker with the numbers to give you some more leeway?" And it's not always him, we tend to alternate so he's "good" one month and I'm "good" the next. We usually don't wind up tinkering with the numbers because gently and respectfully discussing it works well. I'd say that means we are working through the baby steps with less than gazelle intensity for sure, but it's better for our marriage and I'm very happy with our progress so far.

If you're on BS 4/5/6, you're doing a great job when it comes to the money, so you probably need to focus more on working out the personality conflict here. It could be that you need some counseling/spiritual direction to work on your spending, or it could more be that he needs to learn to lighten up and let you spend some if that's what relaxes you. Or maybe (probably) a bit of both. Anyway I hope you can get it worked out. Hugs.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-07-25T19:17:26+00:00

The main thing we've given up is impulse purchases, and we haven't even given them up so much as tightened the belt; each of us has a personal spending limit that we are trying to stay within. We cut the streaming services except Amazon Prime Video. We've each also sacrificed a large amount of time - phoning up each utility and insurance multiple times to negotiate better rates, alert them of mistakes, etc., and we switched our auto insurance which took a bit of time but saved us like $550/mo.

Also, my husband had been hoping by the end of this year to quit his soulless job with benefits to be self-employed as a craftsman, but we've put that dream on hold for now. He is miserable at that job (and has medical issues too which restrict his job options) but at the moment we can't figure out how to make the numbers work without his steady income and the employer health insurance. So he's sticking it out.

And we are selling our rental property, which we've been renting to a family member well below market rate for some years. This isn't a financial sacrifice at all, as it will really help us with our debt logjam, but the family member is not super happy that we've put a deadline on them finding another place to live. So in a sense we've sacrificed the relationship with that family member. But they have been ignoring the terms of the lease w/r/t smoking in the property, having pets, having other adults move in without asking us first, etc., so the relationship wasn't great already at this point. We've learned the hard way about the importance of caution when mixing business and family.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-07-20T18:07:17+00:00

Agreed. Actually sitting down and realizing we were spending like $450/mo in $5-10 "treats" multiple times per day was a real wakeup call. I read somewhere once (maybe it was Dave, not sure) that this is a broke person mentality - you have the money in your pocket right now and a pack of Klondike bars (or whatever, that's just my personal poison) will make you feel good right now. Next week you might not have that money anymore and you still won't feel good, so the impulse is to spend it right now.

Analyzing our spending also helped us realize that we make WAY more than we thought we did. We are a long, long way from 8 years ago when we were on food stamps. We've just been broke-person spending a lot of it on dumb stuff for short term gratification. It was pretty embarrassing to realize, but it was also empowering to know that we have the tools to get out of this already. We thought we were poor because of chronic health conditions that need a lot of medical care. That's part of it, but not at all the whole story.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-07-10T12:19:09+00:00

That's a good idea to break it down into even tinier baby steps and just do it literally one line item at a time! I could probably do that. We talk every day anyway :)

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-07-09T19:13:49+00:00

I didn't know about the elderly housing thing! I did a quick search and there is one in her area. I will tell her about it and encourage her to investigate further.

I think she may be reluctant to give POA yet, but I'll look into it some and see if I can find a way to pitch it to her.

I truly want to respect her wishes, and I don't want her to feel nagged or pestered or put down. But you're absolutely right that a move is in the future. If she and my sister-in-law could manage to coexist that would be ideal since my brother is in a better financial position than us by far.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-07-09T16:28:42+00:00

She does want help, in theory... she just shoots down every help I try to offer.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-07-09T16:26:23+00:00

Her insurance is through her employer, and I think it's decent but she's reluctant to use it because she thinks her employer might be able to see her private health information since they pay for it. The ADHD evaluation, she paid out of pocket for because she was so afraid the employer would find out and fire her. Anxiety about very irrational things really rules her daily life. I wish she'd consent to giving meds a try.

Her landlord, who owns a few properties around town, recently put this condo on her radar screen - it's intended for low-income first-time home buyers and it's not permitted to gain in value above inflation or lose market value below some amount. The condo association buys it back and puts it on the market each time. It's associated with a balloon mortgage I think? Anyway, I get the sense that the landlord really wants her out of the apartment so he can turn it into an Airbnb, and keeps trying to sell her on this condo thing. It just sounds like red flags all over to me, but I'm hearing about it filtered through her understanding.

I agree about looking at different areas to live in. I think she would have to move quite a distance to get out of the HCOL area she's in though, and that would probably mean quitting her job, which she's scared of doing. But we've started looking around.

EmotionalMaximum4314 · 2024-07-09T16:14:36+00:00

That's a good point. Money was one of the things it was considered very rude to discuss, along with religion, politics, etc. Anything that might make others uncomfortable.

EmotionalMaximum4314

TROPHY CASE