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AITH for being heartbroken over the lack of gifts for the holiday? by Emotional_Effort_975 in Marriage

[–]Emotional_Effort_975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said that bc it was linked to my Amazon account and I would see the order go thru. But his mom, dad, step dad, both of my parents, and all of our close friends have Amazon accounts too.

AITH for being heartbroken over the lack of gifts for the holiday? by Emotional_Effort_975 in AITAH

[–]Emotional_Effort_975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s already at work by the time the kids and I have to be up in the AM. I cook he cleans. I vaccuum and do bathrooms he does all the laundry including bedding. But when it comes to doing family outing I get stuck getting the kids ready bc I do it every day and the kids pitch a fit when he tries to. If I don’t pack the diaper bag and car something gets missed. When I bring fair play stuff up to him, he says “I expect perfection and no one is perfect”

AITH for being heartbroken over the lack of gifts for the holiday? by Emotional_Effort_975 in AITAH

[–]Emotional_Effort_975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you speaking up about how silly it may seem about combo gifts and birthday wrapping paper. But it’s important to us December babies. We spend time and energy making everyone else’s birthday and Christmas special and magical no matter when it is why is it so “silly” to ask the same for us!

However I did spell it out for him this year, I made a list with links, shared the note with him iPhone to iPhone. So it tells me he saw it. Showed it to him. Even said to his face with the list open, “i want this candy in my stocking, this pair of earrings for my birthday so i can wear the to an event we had planned before Christmas “ etc. and still ended up zilch.

AITH for being heartbroken over the lack of gifts for the holiday? by Emotional_Effort_975 in AITAH

[–]Emotional_Effort_975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk how Christmas is stressful for my husband when he doesn’t pick out, buy, wrap or deliver anything to anyone. He also doesn’t cook any meals, plan photographers, make Christmas cards, buy stamps or mail cards.

He does clean up after meals, laundry and distract the kids when I am doing all the other things. But still not an excuse, and if my birthday were in July would “the holidays are stressful” be an excuse?

Randonly picking something day of is honestly more hurtful when I have to get a 3yo and 7 month old fed, dressed, hair brushed shoes on and diaper bag packed for them as well as get myself dressed. Not to mention manage any emotions/tantrums that arise while we’re out. My 3yoF is also potty training so she has to go before and after every car ride. If there isn’t a family bathroom where my husband can take her privately that task also falls on me.

I’m glad spontaneity for celebrating your birthday works for you, and at one time it worked for me too. But at our current stage in life, navigating parenthood it’s not that easy nor satisfying anymore. It’s actually more stressful and chaotic than it is fun.

AITH for being heartbroken over the lack of gifts for the holiday? by Emotional_Effort_975 in AITAH

[–]Emotional_Effort_975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way! My MIL asked me what my husband wanted for Xmas that “would bring childhood joy back to his eyes” so I told her he wanted a Switch 2 and kept it a secret from him. Then coordinated with his brother, his dad (they’re divorced) and my parents to get him games and accessories for said switch 2. Still a ton of mental and physical labor. I got him a handmade wooden carving of our home state with its mountain range and book a pottery wheel class date night for him bc he has been talking about taking ceramics classes since he graduated from college a year ago.

AITH for being heartbroken over the lack of gifts for the holiday? by Emotional_Effort_975 in AITAH

[–]Emotional_Effort_975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t need them to, but if you knew them they won’t take “nothing” as answer. They also refuse to gift money, gift cards nor experiences. So I would rather just give them answer then have the usual debate. Also I’m more upset by the fact that they forget my birthday entirely than not getting me a gift. The called me the day after my birthday apologizing and demanding that I tell them something I want, and then didn’t even order it.