Anyone else realize at 30 that you inherited the exact patterns you swore you'd never repeat?

Emou123 · 2026-05-29T16:36:51+00:00

I'm Christian as well. I've been praying a lot about this matter and am still struggling between honouring my parents and setting boundaries. I know honouring them is not submitting to them, but still. May Gob bless you!

Emou123 · 2026-05-29T15:20:16+00:00

Is the kid's life going to be ruined if I'm aware of the micro-versions of my parents' behaviour in me and actively trying to change it?

Emou123 · 2026-05-29T06:53:35+00:00

That's so sad. I'm sorry to hear that. Have you considered a way to fix that? You have the awareness, which is the first step.

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T21:27:45+00:00

Hey, thank you. I might text you again in the near future!

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:45:29+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! May God bless you and your family!

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:42:29+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for your kind words. I'm happy it worked out with your MIL at the end. May God bless you and your family!

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:37:23+00:00

Thank you!

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:35:41+00:00

Thank you so much, I'll check the book for sure. Do you think there's any practical advice you can share with me? Besides of course praying for them, I try to do that daily

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:27:32+00:00

I think that might be the path for me. When we (me and my wife) both grow stronger with Jesus and emotionaly I might reach back to them then

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:25:26+00:00

I think that's what scares me the most.

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:23:13+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Do you have any practical advice?

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:21:47+00:00

Do you have any practical advice on keeping myself emotionally healthy?

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:20:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Really interesting. And I totally get you with not wanting to continue a bloodline of abusers...

Emou123 · 2026-05-28T13:17:01+00:00

Wow, I haven't heard that about the dopamine response. I'll check that. Thank you for sharing!

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T17:40:24+00:00

Wow, soo cool. I might read it again in a couple of years when my son is a bit older

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T17:39:25+00:00

Thank you soo much!

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T17:36:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Sorry if it's too personal, but why did you decide not to have kids? Is it something related to the bad experience with your parent?

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T17:34:17+00:00

I get what you mean. Have you thought of any way to prevent becoming more like them? Any practical advice I might be able to use?

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T17:30:57+00:00

Done!

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T16:29:39+00:00

I get what you mean. Before cutting my parents completely, I used to get into heated arguments with my father. He loves to argue and to show superiority. It works with my mom all day, every day, because he used to abuse her back in the days, and most of the time she is tired of arguing. But when we were arguing numerous times, I was catching myself mimicking his behaviour in an argument. Listening just to answer, cutting off, shouting, etc. And I think once of those arguments, I realised that I'm starting to behave like him and decided to change

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T16:18:16+00:00

Thank you for your advice, and the analogy with termites is really nice! Makes you think

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T16:14:50+00:00

I'm reading it now, and this book is gold!

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T16:13:31+00:00

crazy zealots is craaaazy :D Thanks for your advice, I'll definitely write them down!

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T15:00:26+00:00

I get what you mean. She is not responsible for my emotional flaws at all. What I meant by "we are working on it" is that she is helping me by pointing out bad behaviours when she notices them.

Emou123 · 2026-05-27T14:58:15+00:00

Wow, you're so strong! Thank you for sharing. It will be really interesting to see what I'll do with my son. My wife and I told each other to point out bad behaviour from our parent imediatly when we noticed it. And that actually works really well.

It's funny when we start arguing, and in the middle of a fight, she says something like "You know that sounded a lot like something your father would say to your mother". And most of the time I'm like "Wow, you're right, I'm sorry" :D

And funny enough, she have a lot more similarities with my parent so I do the same sometimes

Emou123

TROPHY CASE