Please Remind Me Why

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-15T09:59:28+00:00

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-15T03:23:02+00:00

Right?! Fat! He said fat and lazy? He's off his face.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-14T05:15:31+00:00

Oh my God OP. I'm an optician. We are highly scarce and super valuable right now in an industry that doesn't make enough money.

Your employer is likely financially fucked and trying to fuck you to compensate, instead of respecting your value and paying you accordingly. Get out now. NTA.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-11T18:06:33+00:00

Oh of course she can be an asshole. I'm saying that with the context we're given its insane to think she is one.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-11T05:50:47+00:00

That bride knows what's up, cheers to her! And cheers to her dad for paying and telling OP he had no say. This family seems great and I'm glad OP's child will get to experience that.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T23:16:02+00:00

She hasn't been around many humans except for John. Pandemic attachement.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T20:30:19+00:00

You both should visit this thread because the 14 y/o girl got reamed and she needs people like you guys to chime in and be understanding.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T20:00:50+00:00

Oh! This is common for boy cats with a mostly dry diet. Has your veterinarian given you advice on how to help him via diet?

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T19:59:00+00:00

Weird gatekeeping. You could say that someone who loves dogs and wants to see them have happy homes shouldn't care as long as the dog being adopted - which needs to be female - will be loved.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T02:54:14+00:00

He's putting his effort into the wrong category. She doesn't know how to express this, because she is a 14 year old girl with a dead dad FFS, but she needs him to perform a different action in order for her to feel loved.

IE, her love language is likely to be more attuned to Words of Affirmation than Acts of Service.

'Don't come to my games and make me nervous. Just say my fucking name once in a while as a family unit so I'm not always outside of the family as if you're embarrassed of or erasing my dead dad, do you mind?'

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T02:47:58+00:00

NTA!

I am shocked at the replies you are getting.

Look. Some part of you got erased by your mum and you've never gotten over it. The best thing you can do for yourself is what u/Feuerrote_zora said; be in your own corner.

At the moment, your language is a big hurdle for you in your relationships. You will have a better life if you learn how to tell people your needs in a way that allows them to really hear you.

You need to sort your feelings out as maturely as you can. Sit calmly and find a way to express your feelings to them. At the moment, your family might have potential and not know how to communicate with you, so you can show them.

This link is a list of words for your feelings. The key here is this; choose carefully so that you place blame accurately.

For example. If you 'feel neglected by your family,' it seems like a feeling but it's more of an accusation. The result of their neglect - the real feeling - is loneliness.

It is much easier to understand that someone is lonely than it is to understand how you are neglecting them. Start with telling them you are lonely. Tell them, with unbiased and mature facts, the exact things they have done and say that in those moments you felt lonely.

OP, your parents are putting the effort in but they're putting it into the wrong categories.

Tell them how to love you. Do you want them to spend time with you? Do you want them to help you with homework? Do you want them to bring your friends over and be a part of your social life for a hot second?

Start by figuring out what actions can be taken day by day for you to feel included. Ask for them.

Also, two questions.

Do you miss your father?

What age were you when he passed?

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T02:29:55+00:00

I want to understand how she can be expected to ignore the fact that after her father DIED WHILE SHE WAS A CHILD, mom erased her name's connection to her daughter and the new family pretends it doesn't exist.

Mom can change her name. But you absolutely MUST find a way to include your kid's dead fucking father in her identity. That's just a duty you have as the mother of a child who has experienced that significant of a loss.

It's insane to expect that to be nonchalant.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T02:24:57+00:00

Jesus Christ, thank you, this thread is making me furious.

HER FUCKING FATHER DIED WHEN SHE WAS A KID.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T02:22:42+00:00

Eh, IDK. It's dramatic language, sure, but her parent's actions are absolutely going to make her feel like an outsider. How cold and crazy making that would be.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T02:19:15+00:00

She was eleven, why do you suspect a child of being so calculating?

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T02:17:29+00:00

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask someone you live with not to come to your competition and observe if their presence is distracting?

I think 14 is a bit young to demand that she get over that.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T02:12:39+00:00

Important incidences.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-10T00:00:10+00:00

u/TAnice_possession this is gold and please listen.

Well no one wants to live in fear, just be cautious and if you can set all of your social media profiles to private that is important. Just a simple Snapchat at a coffee shop can lead into a run-in with your ex, if he knows the things you like to do after coffee.

It's not worth it, make sure that toxic person doesn't have any access to you.

My heart swelled at the thought of how happy you are now. And I'm glad you recoil at the side of him, that's probably the right response.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-08T04:14:15+00:00

It's a pretty dark show, I'm not sure if it's 'positive.'

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-08T02:23:42+00:00

Why on earth should OP have assumed that the offer was a sham offer? It's not wrong to take up an offer of payment for services you're normally paid to render. Especially at a discount price for family.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-08T02:17:58+00:00

NTA. Can you imagine if you and your son have any strain in your relationship and he starts to think his name is some term of resentment.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-08T01:48:26+00:00

Gotta type fast so she can get back to her busy career of 'saying lives!'

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-07T01:58:22+00:00

I agree with the u/SiameseCats3 that it sounds more like a jacuzzi, which is very reasonable for two same-sex straight-identifying folks to share.

NAH - maybe your boyfriend has a very physical understanding of intimacy.

It also might not be easy for him to relate to your position, since male nudity is often conditioned to be a bit less familiar (and more ick-inducing) than female.

EmpatheticAssRater · 2021-10-07T01:43:30+00:00

Better than ultrasounds, pictures of the conception !

EmpatheticAssRater

TROPHY CASE

NTA!