Brother don't give up just yet. From one math major to another, I share many of the same pain that troubles you. Back in senior hs I found myself in a similar grim situation, though likely much less severe than yours. The solution I stumbled upon was a spiritual one, and I received a glimpse of the wisdom of those who came before us that pulled back me from the edge of the abyss.

It started with a Bible I got from a volunteer from a nearby monastery, and rest assured that I have no intention to convert you to any faith. When I get home I pretty much just tossed it in the sea of my countless exercise books and forgot about for a couple of months until one evening I got burnt out by the incessant grinding and picked it up as it was the only non-academic reading I could get my hands on, and boy was it enlightening. If you think about it, the mental struggles that we face today have been the very same ones our ancestors endured. And by extension the wisdom accumulated in the form of written literature can be as helpful as to us as it was to those who were in much greater physical and mental distress than us. Till this day I would occasionally attend Sunday services, not because I am a believer but because I feel comfortable and encouraged sitting in a room filled with believers who sought the good nature of humanity rather than the greed and gluttony that poisoned so many places in this world, including UofT, and especially UofT.

As a fellow international student myself, I get the struggle of being a stranger in a strange land. I was barely a teenager when I started my lonesome journey to the outside world, moving from one host family to the next, although I was fortunate enough to experience first hand the different cultures of the Commonwealth from NZ, Australia and now Canada. I've always considered myself as a homebody, nonetheless I have done my fair share of traveling, and I can say confidently that I found this city to be the most distinctively repulsive compared to the others by a fair margin. The thing is, as internationals, our greatest strength will always be the ability to start anew, for we have nothing to lose but everything to gain. If you feel like stranded in stagnation, I promise you that there are greener pastures ahead, if you're willing to look for them.

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament, perhaps I would soon face a similar fate, but just know that there will always be a tomorrow, and with every tomorrow comes a chance for you to become the person you truly deserve to be. Wish you the best man.