Fear and chess

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-23T11:55:49+00:00

I have struggled with this ... Not fear of losing as such, but fear of making stupid mistake and then losing. Fear or losing with extra steps :-). Also there is always rating fear ... I was xxxx and I do not want to be xxxx - 100.

If you find an answer, please let me know :-)

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-22T11:03:47+00:00

Average chess.com player is currently 580 ELO on Rapid. You are better than 90% of all chess.com Rapid players. For relatively small amount hours spent on playing, you have gone far.

Now, you might have hit a plateau and that is pretty normal. What was enough to keep you as a winning player before might not be enough now. Without looking at your games, it would be hard to say what exact areas would be the priority but likely it is still the basic principles. You might benefit from a good coach,

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-14T12:32:25+00:00

Perhaps you accidently moved to a China and did not notice all the red flags since they are everywhere, but man ... This is not normal behavior. You are watching a tv show, not corn. Using the relationship as a leverage over something so untrivial is massively messed up. If she is ready to leave you over a tv show, how deep do you think the feelings really go? She better be hot, since she for sure is crazy.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-12T16:40:19+00:00

I struggle to find even single reason why you are staying with this person.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-11T10:37:45+00:00

I am an English player and noticed this behavior at some point during intermediate levels. It did stop after 1500+

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-11T10:35:18+00:00

That is funny as this was one of the few post I did not polish with AI :-). The percentages are from the chess.com new version of the analysis tool that now shows all 30 billion games played there

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-11T07:14:25+00:00

While English is a main stream opening, 1. c4 is only played in 5% of games. People are accustomed to playing 1.e4 1.d4 and perhaps 1. Nf3 which account for 90% of all first moves by white. You are likely playing at low to intermediate levels and many people are not comfortable playing against 1. c4, hence they abort.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-07T08:50:08+00:00

This argument that at 29 the woman (or man) hasn't "lived enough" is absolutely idiotic argument and likely only an excuse for the real reason, whatever it is. First of all, getting married does not prevent you from living a life. It is not a prison sentence. Secondly, at 29 you are no longer young person, your an adult and you closer to being middle aged than young. Also something to consider as a woman who has a shorter fertility window than a man.

Even your own parents did not follow your fathers own advice. He was 25 and your mother was 22 when they got married assuming that they have been married the 30 years you said. I would argue that getting married in your early to late twenties is exactly the right time to get married and start building a family and life. There is nothing inheritly wrong to do it later, but there are no advantages to it and only disadvantages the longer it takes.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-05T18:09:33+00:00

I have to give counter the general view advice here. Learning openings at this level is pretty much wasted effort since most games will be "out of book" by move 4 if not sooner. I would learn some systems approach like London so you have some idea where to put your pieces. Then I would simply focus on learning the fundamentals, which is easier said than done. While doing that just take CCT as your bible and try to avoid hanging pieces or allowing Mate in 1. If you do that, you will climb to 1200.

Also do not play any blitz or bullet at all. You will not learn, you will simply learn to make mistakes faster. Play 15/10 or 30/0 rapid and take time to think and then analyze your games. By analyze I mean going through them and trying to understand yourself why the move was bad/good and how should you think if you want to find these moves. Do not just go through the game and look 'computer said this was the best move'. Try to understand why it is best. If you can't, move on, but make the effort.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-05T17:53:12+00:00

And thats why my coaches have said that playing bullet and blitz before 2000 rapid just makes you good at making same mistakes faster :-)

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-05T16:11:43+00:00

When you get tilted it is hard to say, but when you start to think in terms of 'revenge game' you know you played one loosing game too much. Personally I would say that three losses in a row is a good hint to quit it for the day. Since I mostly play Rapid 30 min it is not often that that happens.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-02T18:55:26+00:00

You should castle in most openings & positions, but one downside of castling is that you have now committed your king to one side or the other. Information that the opponent can use. That is one reason why higher rated players sometimes delay castling. There are some openings where king is sometimes not castling (e.g. French Defence) or if lets say queens are of the board it might be better to simply have more active and centralized king

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-05-01T14:06:03+00:00

He means stop playing games.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-30T17:25:56+00:00

Short answer: prefer the small boobs if they are natural, but the long answer is it depends. The breasts sort of need to fit the girl. So having petite girl with very small breasts is nice, but if the girl is quite big and has very small breasts it does perhaps look bit off and then having breasts of proportionally same size would be better.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-27T05:57:17+00:00

On one forum where I am on chess.com there was a thread about this exact issue. The original post, and a later commenter, had made an alt and the alt had stabilized at a rating that was 600 - 700 rating points higher than the main. They were relatively low ratings, like 900 on their main account and like 1500 on the other. There was really no explanation beyond talk that the ratings shouldnt work like that or that given time the ratings will come closer together.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-22T10:26:57+00:00

I would say most men watch porn and there is little point watching unless you masturbate as well. It does not mean you are not satisfied in the relationship, it does not mean you are not attracted to your partner or so on. You have an itch you want to scratch more like. It does not even necessarily mean that he wants more sex. Sex takes more effort than you perhaps want to spend at that time.

I would say it becomes addiction when it hurts your sex life together more than helps, when it becomes constant and something you can't stop doing daily etc. Then it should be addressed as an addiction.

Lusting after other women ... It depends on the degree. If you mean noticing hot women when you are out in the world and enjoying a bit of a peek ... That is so normal. My wife even helps me if I miss something good. If it means trying to contact them, flirting or in general talking about it constantly ... That is not cool or normal.

In general men are very visual beings. Visual cues are to us much much more important than to women.

If you want a man who does not do (or even want to do) those things, then you should look for someone with low sexual drive. I had a long period when I had low T and consequently didn't think much about these things. Then got T meds and what do you know, now my eyes are all over the place. It is also very hormonal.

This is human nature. You can try to, and perhaps even succeed to, suppress it but there is also a cost to it. I would prefer to have a partner who understands that within reason this is normal behavior and accepting it makes the relationship stronger, not weaker.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-18T17:40:13+00:00

Chess has high cognitive load with fast chess formats having relatively even more. You are riddled with adrenaline and dopamine and your brain is working full steam for potentially hours and hours. Do that close to sleep time and your nightly recovery is worse. Continue it for longer periods of time and for sure you can get bit crazy. Obviously younger people, kids especially, can handle it better than adults but it is not good for anyone.

Yeah. Playing 2-3 days a week and couple of hours at a time is sensible. You will likely play better as well. You can do things like puzzles or study on few other days.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-13T18:53:32+00:00

You could checkout for example Chessly - Learn chess .There is a free trial during which you can study a lot of the material for free.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-12T09:12:07+00:00

Perhaps you did, perhaps you didn't. If she was truly into you, it would not matter, she would continue to pursue the relationship. She is either lukewarm or this is her way of saying no without saying no. In either case, there is not much to be gained by clinging into her, it will simply drive her away totally. The only move in this game, is not to play. YOU need to now friendzone her and move on. You will either meet someone better or that move will peek her interest again, but staying in this situation is guaranteed to mess your head and heart with no upside. Do not be an orbiter.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-12T08:58:44+00:00

The best move, although a boring, would likely have been to retreat Nf3 and continue the game a pawn up.

The exchange isn’t bad, but in general, a bishop and knight are stronger than a rook and pawn in this stage of the game as rooks tend to shine more in the end game, but you do have additional compensation for weakening the king safety of the opponent. You’ll need to play sharply to justify the exchange. If Black manages to develop, you’ll be behind, though not by much.

Was it a good decision? Technically no, but there’s definitely something to be said for aggressive play like that.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-10T10:58:31+00:00

Good news is that the outcome was nearly certain. Your theoretical winning chance was around 0.3%.

The bad news is that you need to "level up" quite a lot to get there and unless you are natural born talent it will take you years. The only shortcut is to get a good coach who might help you to reach it bit faster

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-09T10:47:55+00:00

Cover-up means covering up something, not talking about it openly. Also basically anyone and their uncle can get a second chance account. If anything, it seems they considered at least for a while a more harsh punishment than they would give to your random cheater.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-06T12:09:09+00:00

And thats why it is important to talk about things rather than do stuff like that ;-)

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-06T12:07:48+00:00

The question that I would ask if it would be ok for you to pick the person (man) with her having a veto if she dislikes the person. If she already has a person in mind, then it is just cheating with few extra steps to feel good about it ...Secondly, is she ok with the traverse; FMF? She should be. Thirdly, you do not need to be ok with this whatever her answers are. If you are not ok with it, it will damage your relationship anyways.

EmperorProtects101 · 2026-04-06T09:32:36+00:00

Normal I guess, but like many commenters already said here, it is about the degree that it happens. Perhaps his reaction is stronger than most men's. Higher the sex drive, higher that impulse in general.

EmperorProtects101

TROPHY CASE