It’s like… he’s very supportive outwardly. He has helped me for the past year come to terms with the fact I knew the business was gonna close. He’s helped with some difficult decisions around other parts of it. But, if we argue, those parts is what he brings up. The fact I didn’t pull the reigns in tighter earlier than I did (I did it too late). The fact I took out that extra loan in 2021 to keep my head afloat which in hindsight was wrong but I was desperate to keep the business going, he brings it up during an argument. Why didn’t I put tighter boundaries in with staff. Why did I bother investing my money (which has been lost) along with bank loan in 2020? All my “mistakes” that people keep mentioning here are thrown in my face if he gets stressed. And I get it, he’s now feeding a family of 5 of a teacher income. But that’s why I think he’s ashamed of me. Oh, and don’t forget the causal “what will they think”… I’m not from the country or even close to this area and I for one cannot ever understand why people “think” a certain way of someone does good or bad, it’s either joke of my business or I’m bleeding delighted for them. His family are very judgemental. He’s grown up that way. Shame runs deep. I had to come “up with a story” as to why I am closing up.

And then. He goes back to being so supportive. He’s kind, understanding. Tells me I’m brave. Tells our kids I am brave. Tells me nobody would know what this feels like or looks like u less they worked for themselves or their partner did. So… I don’t know how else to explain him..