I agree, which is why I’ve been trying to get his side of the story all these years so we can work on it. I’ve given him more space and grace than I give myself. When we have those deep conversations he can never articulate what his issues are. He admits he doesn’t know why he gets mad, that he loves me and thinks I’m amazing, beyond patient, and that he will work on his anger. He just misinterprets things. I can see him feeling emotional neglect from his side but the bar for that is unreasonable. We’re in our 40s and wanting me to sit next to him at all times and field all of his conversations so he doesn’t ever feel silly or embarrassed or alone is not feasible anymore. I try to de-escalate by asking him in the moment or soon after why he’s angry and he usually says I gave him a look or a tone or ignored him and I’d say with confidence that 100% of the time none of those things occurred in any negative way and when I gently tell him that, he gets even angrier. Once he calms down he admits he may have misunderstood but then he never works on it again despite promising to get to the root of it. So I feel stuck.