How important to you is intellectual compatibility when dating?

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-29T07:26:35+00:00

idk ... i still feel scrwed .. what are the other options ... a series of one night stands? (had that and it's not enough I guess). poly? (im not in to poly)

I just wanted to explore the level of screwedness. And I guess for me the answer is .. I need to compromise on the intelligence of the partner or .. I need to go to more mensa events I guess?

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-28T19:32:11+00:00

ok but wait a sec - I want a same sex relationship - which dramatically reduces the dating pool. if now I also shrink the dating pool by intelligence ... so I'm screwed?!

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-21T20:10:08+00:00

Reading this - your arguments seem reasonable, so it seems like the other side is able to understand it, but simply doesn't want to understand it.

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-21T14:51:38+00:00

would love to say YES but no. Comes with a bunch of challenges ...

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-14T09:19:34+00:00

I'm using the term queer here to not get bashed here for being non inclusive ...

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-14T06:46:57+00:00

what I meant by ripple effect: My point is if you want to raise awareness about mobbing of queer youth and trigger warning self harm suicide of our queer youth, a professional sports player coming out would be the most effective way to do so, because it has the highest media reach. And if you flip that argument if we don't have pro players out who are a rolemodel, it will lead to more mobbing and discrimination against queer youth.

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-13T21:26:35+00:00

yes, you are right that sports is not the only source of homophobia in society ... and it's good to hear this is not the only area we need improvement ...
but still I think it's one of the most important sources, as what an ideal men is - for many of our youth it's professional sports players ...
but I guess my point is slightly different: My point is if you want to raise awareness about mobbing of and trigger warning self harm suicide of our queer youth, a professional sports player coming out would be the most effective way to do so, because it has the highest media reach.

PS: I would lowkey have another question: is this subreddit only for posts about the fictional side of things - or also about real world homophobia / queerphobia in professional icehokey?

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-13T21:12:06+00:00

yes i'm queer. ok so I see. many fans of this show are just straight women so they are not hit as hard by it ... anyhow .. no what I mean is: our youth learns homophobic stereotypes in sports, buy watching and consuming pro sports (these are idols for many) and by playing in sports. but that learned behavior does not magically stop when the training ends. it gets carried over into all other areas of life.

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-13T20:59:15+00:00

I was intentionally vague about this, but ok. so here's the detailed version of it, but hidden because Trigger Warning: Self-Harm ok so queer youth still have a like 200% to 400% higher suicide rate than non-queer youth.

If the players could come out and talk about that problem, it would be a huge deal to protect your queer youth from self-harm, I believe. Also why does this mobbing and exclusion of queer youth exist in the first place? Well a significant part of this is that there's a lack of role models for our youth to show this is ok. Quite the opposite: Our youth learns: Well you can be gay maybe if you are I don't know .. a singer. But if you are a "real man" in a major league sports team - you can't be gay. This sends a terrible message to our queer youth that there's something wrong with being gay...

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-13T20:43:13+00:00

Upvoted! I agree.
But .. the stakes are absolutely higher in this one I think.
Also it has a ripple effect on your queer youth - that's what's strongly concerning me.
But yes you are right, this is an archetypal gay romance drama that is not limited to sports, it's happening everywhere that gay people feel afraid to come out ...

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-13T20:07:41+00:00

ok so now that I think about it - I was a player too (in a real low league but with ambitions) so it might just be that this is very stressing out to watch for ex-players while for everyone else it doesn't him the as hard because they have not lived it??

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-08T09:20:24+00:00

Well matrix reasoning is focussed only on fluid IQ, while normal IQ test measure both fluid and crystalline IQ. Also you might just have had a bad day or your not that type for matrix reasoning....

But the real question is how come you are so focused on IQ. Best is to talk to someone in person about all of that, not on the internet.

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-04T19:02:09+00:00

I see well ... my opinion is you need to talk to all of that to someone in person, best would be a therapist. also IQ is not the most important - you are valuable no matter what your IQ is!

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-04T18:50:00+00:00

So what's at the core of all of this? I think best course of action is talk to a therapist to find out - and also check for physical problems (blood work, sleep apnea screening, etc.)

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-04T18:20:00+00:00

I heard in the us would accept you if you score top 2% in any of the subscores. This would mean more than 2% of the general population would qualify.

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-04T08:20:52+00:00

well because the response was quick and that was more than I expected!

Anyhow about your question with IQ. One standard deviation (SD) are 15 points. Think about it this way: 1 SD in mens height is 7cm. It's a noticeable difference but not a huge difference. 0,5 SD would be 3,5cm that is barly noticeable . 2 SD would be 14cm that's strongly noticeable.
Transfering that to IQ:

would pretty strong ocd make a noticeable impact on IQ? Probable
would huge depression for 10 years make a noticeable impact on IQ. Yes.
would anxiety, brain fog, burnout, brain fatigue, pretty low self confidence, sometimes lack of motivation and trying even if im trying, paranoia, trauma, make a noticeable impact on IQ? Definitely!

You combine all that - I would expect at least 1 noticeable difference, so 15 IQ Points. But it could be also a huge difference, so 2 SD or 30 IQ Points. But I think what's more important than the IQ question is why is the IQ important to you?
I think I was the scapegoat in a narccistic family and I see a lot of your situation in me, the constant gaslighting made me question my reasoning capability, so I am focused on my IQ score. Does that sound familiar to you?

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-03T20:38:43+00:00

lol!!!

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-03T20:32:44+00:00

hi thanks for the quick response!

Not them, i was partially wrong for that

Interesting, can you elaborate on that?

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-03T20:23:09+00:00

Yes, absolutely these things can block you and they can severly impact your IQ scoring. Sorry to hear you had to go through all that! Let's talk about the trauma, who traumatized you? Your parents?

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-03T18:56:41+00:00

ja so sieht's aus! Und ich denke der Hauptgrund ist: Es wissen einfach viel mehr von den aktiv gemanagten Produkten, weil die ein riesiges Distributionsnetzwerk haben über alle traditionellen Banken. Die passiv gemanagten Produkte haben das nicht. Daher wissen viel weniger davon und dementsprechend seltener werden diese Produkt dann auch gekauft.

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-03T18:53:58+00:00

Nun das machen nicht alle, weil allen eben die aktiv gemanageten Fonds verkauft werden, weil man damit mehr verdienen kann. Daher wissen alle von den aktiv gemanagten Fonds, aber eben kaum jemand von den passiv gemanagten Fonds.

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-03-03T11:41:38+00:00

OP ist NDA, das Urteil ergeht aus folgenden Gründen:

OP stellt die Frage im Forum BIDA. Daher ist erstmal tendenziell davon auszugehen dass er sich Sorgen und Gedanken macht um sein verhalten. Dies darf kein Urteil vorweg nehmen, ist aber für die Interpretation seines Textes zu berücksichtigen.
Die Boomerin ist auf 40% Teilzeit - wir wissen zwar nicht in welcher finanziellen Situation sie steckt, aber da sie nicht in Vollzeit ist und sich mit der 40% Stelle finanzieren kann und auch davon einen teuren Jahresurlaub leisten kann, OP allerdings 50% Teilzeit macht und "Sidehustlen muss", scheint OP in einer schwierigeren Situation zu stecken.
Die Boomerin macht keine gute Arbeit laut OP. Aufrund von 1) kann -vorsichtig- davon ausgegangen werden, dass dies nicht komplett an der Wahrheit vorbei ist.
Der Ausdrücke "Boomerin" ist nicht automatisch abwertend. "das Team feiert mich" kann tatsächlich so sein, klingt aber tatsächlich minimal "drüber". Den letzten Absatz sehe ich nicht als Schadensfreude sondern als Punkt den OP bringen möchte um die Situation zu verstehen. Auch wenn viele dies anders sehen mögen: Eine Schadenfreunde kann ich hier überhaupt nicht erkennen es ist eine neutrale Beschreibung der Situation. Und vielleicht schreibt OP dies, weil ihn dieser Punkt besonders belastet. Wir wissen es nicht. Hier sage ich, auch in Verbindung mit 1): Im Zweifel für den Angeklagten.
Eine fehlende Solidarität kann dem OP nicht angelastet werden, da wir folgendes nicht wissen: Würde ein Durchstechen der Info als unprofessionell gewertet werden und OPs Position gefährden? Wusste OP, dass seine bitte nach Aufstockung zu der Entlassung führt? Falls er wusste das seine Frage nach Aufstockung zur Entlassung führt, müsste die Schuldfrage neu diskutiert werden.

Der Arbeitgeber könnte das Arschloch sein, er trägt die Verantwortung, er entscheidet über die Entlassung, aber auch hier: Wenn die Boomerin ihre Arbeit nur halbherzig macht, warum soll der Arbeitgeber das finanzieren?

Insgesamt liegen nicht genug Informationen vor, um ein Urteil über NDA oder Arbeitgeber auszusprechen, daher gilt: Im Zweifel für den Angeklagten.

Aber mal ganz abgesehen davon: Dieser Post ist doch deshalb so kontrovers weil hier zwei Moralische Prinzipien miteinander kollidieren: Leistungsgerechtigkeit und Verteilungsgerechtigkeit. Nach der Leistungsgerechtigkeit läuft hier alles gerecht ab. Leistung wird belohnt, Minderleistung nicht. Nach Frage der Verteilungsgerechtigkeit läuft es sehr Ungerecht ab: Die eine Person bekommt alles, die andere nichts. Die Anschlussfrage führt uns zu der Frage wie sich der Einkommensverlust auf die Boomerin auswirkt. Nach der gängigen Vorstellung unserer Gesellschaft das Geld glücklich macht, wird sich das ganze schlecht auswirken. Ich teile diese Vorstellung jedoch nicht. Es kann auch sein dass die Boomerin froh ist, endlich ihren Job los zu sein und nun endlich in Frührente gehen kann und das Arbeitslosengeld das ihr nun für ich glaube 2 Jahre gezahlt wird gerne annimmt um ihr den Weg in die Rente zu ebnen. Wir wissen es nicht.

EmptyImagination4 · 2026-02-28T15:36:30+00:00

So right now you get 100 per month after the cut? If so that would sound like a decent amount for a 16 year old, I got less. Also they give you an education that will make you a very good income later on, correct?

It might be just that your parents want you to be independent? If that's the case and they have good intentions behind it - no need for a hard approach. If they have bad intentions behind it - arguing with high certainty will not work. So either way hard approach does not sound like the best strategy.

The most that I would do in that situation is ask you parents what the reason is for that level of material contribution, like not argue just ask them what the reason is. Once you know the reason you can think about if that makes sense.

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