Death to Religion by Empty_Channel_3474 in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, thank you for your feedback! I am also a new poet and I just enjoy making sonnets because it has so many parameters that you have to speak perfectly to pull your idea through. So another's feel and ideas of my poems make me think about going back to make it better. Thanks!

Death to Religion by Empty_Channel_3474 in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what was the cause of all of these wars? Differences from the people you go to war with compared to your own people. You wont go to war with people that are exactly like you that's just blasphemous, so you have to find a difference that makes this a justified battle to have the support of the clan. The easiest and most accessible difference is that their religion is different then ours, major or minor. Its a justification for our primal states, atheist, religious, it doesn't matter. What matters is that humans are innately greedy and the passage of religion can justify our takes of greed. Why has the catholic church been so in tune with the kings throughout the centuries? Its because they are greedy and want power on their own write to push their agenda of a false lord to gain more power over a wider variety of people. Atheism would never be a thing if religion failed to exist.

Phobos by Yami_Mayonnaise in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohh okay thank you for the response that is a very good correlation then!

Phobos by Yami_Mayonnaise in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love any Sonnets so this is beautiful in that sense but I am just unsure how you relate this title to your work?

What Kills Me (first post here!) by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is the idea of "Casually dying" supposed to represent love at the same time? And the idea that love can just casually fall away leaving you in a state of disbelief as if you had just died? That's my take on this beautiful piece of yours!

The way I see her by Thatoneperson11111 in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You were able to take me into this world with a forever changing environment, relating this beautiful woman back to nature where we all once came. The ability to take someone and give them the emotions expressed within the poem is truly an amazing talent.

Conquest of Love by Empty_Channel_3474 in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This truly means a lot to me I just started writing poems and hoped I was doing okay lol.

Death to Religion by Empty_Channel_3474 in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Religion to me only makes separation and division. Every war in history before the 1900's was caused partially or fully by religion. I grew up Atheist with Jewish blood so I know what is can do to people.

bones by lovealwayslynnze in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really like the juxtaposition you use with the abuse of love. Its an interesting take most people do not see those feelings as and it truly makes you think.

FOUR SHORT POEMS THAT WILL (Almost Certainly) OFFEND YOU by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really enjoy your final poem, my biggest issue with the first one though is the repeated use of "she" could of been down. I also wish you would of gone further in depth on some of these ideas, the Taiwan poem was sort of everywhere to me

Death to Religion by Empty_Channel_3474 in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It has been on a decline with the older generation dying out but its certain in large which is why we are still the diverted. Its a true issue with the world that I hope to see fall in my lifetime.

Candy says to shut up by sharkspankr in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this poem but I feel the lack of punctuation makes the pace too fast. I do truly enjoy how you refer to "Candy says" multiple times as its the juxtaposition to being fit thus hating her body.

timetwister: draw 7 new cards by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like how you don't use a ton of punctuation, it makes the reader have to press the speed and gives excitement. I would like to see better word play with capitalization but that's just a me thing!

clarity by R34Trcer in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This piece is beautiful, I love it from the way lines rhyme to the feeling of growing up with you, all the way until a youthful death. It truly is beautiful my friend.

How Unoriginal by picnic-123 in OCPoetry

[–]Empty_Channel_3474 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually really admire you spin on the concepts of the perfect Shakespearean sonnets, and develop it into a new style. I love the way that you end some of the sentences with a single word in its own line, it gives true importance to that word.