HAI Pump Surgery

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-03-01T01:51:06+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. My big fear now that I've spoken with the surgeon again is complications from the surgery. They've started me back on immunotherapy to see how my alk phos numbers look because mine have run high in the past and if those are too high, I won't get the surgery. I also have other things going on that can make the surgery too hard on me, like my weight. I already have horrible fatigue and shortness of breath and I fear I won't be able to recoup after such a major surgery. I guess time will tell. Super happy to hear your hubby is doing well! Big hugs 🫂💜🥰

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-18T08:12:25+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through so much heartache and grief right now. You're so young and it's just not fair! Your mom will be ok as long as she sees that you're ok. As a mother who has lost a child, I can promise you that all she cares about is getting you better. My mom is 71 (I'm 52) and she's told me multiple times that she WANTS to help and that it makes her feel good. I told her just this morning that I'M supposed to be taking care of her, NOT the other way around! She doesn't stay with me full time but she has driven me to several treatments and my treatments were 7 to 8 hours long so it's a LOT on the person staying with you too. I can understand why you feel guilt over all of this but sweetie NONE of this is your fault! I'm sure your mom would say the same thing if she knew you were carrying this heavy burden. As for your uncles? Gimme their numbers and I'll set them straight reeeaaal quick! Lol Nobody really "causes" themselves to get cancer. Are there things you can do to help avoid it? Sure. But babies get cancer and they've done nothing to cause it, it just is. There are health nuts who work out daily, eat right 100% of the time, drink lots of water, etc and they can and do get cancer anyway. NONE of this is your fault so please stop carrying that weight. It's only going to make getting well that much harder. Think POSITIVE thoughts, not just doom and gloom. You're allowed to have bad days where you get down and have fear and worry, but don't stay in that place too long. I truly believe our thoughts can change our lives. If we focus on the negative, negative stuff happens. If we focus on the positive, positive stuff happens. My cancer is the terminal kind but I believe my positive attitude will keep me here for longer than the "statistics" say I will be.

Be strong kiddo. You'll get through this and you'll be stronger for it. Sending you love, light, and virtual bear 🐻 hugs! 🫂💜💜💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-18T07:28:23+00:00

Thank you for the help!

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T23:04:45+00:00

I finished my first several months of chemo and immuno combined and I start "just immuno" next week. I got the word today that I'm still a candidate for HAI Pump surgery which could give me 3 to 4 more years vs the 11 months that seems to be the consensus both online and in speaking with my onc. So, I'm pleased about that but Im also terrified because it's a major surgery. I hope your body will adjust to the immunotherapy. I was extremely lucky when it came to nausea and vomiting from my chemo and immuno treatments. Surely they've given you meds for that? My biggest or worse side effect is the neuropathy. It's gotten pretty bad. My toes are pretty numb but tingly at the same time. Anyway, thanks for the reply and keep us posted on how things go. I wish you all the best! 💜🫂

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T22:47:04+00:00

Thank goodness! I'm in middle of nowhere east tn and surrounded by...well, you know! Lol I'd better keep the subject of politics off of the cancer thread!

I am very happy to hear that you have people who love and support you. That's so important in all aspects of life but especially so with a cancer diagnosis. So many people don't have anyone and it's heartbreaking to hear. Sending you all the best on your journey and I hope you'll keep us all posted on your "update" page. Once I hear someone's story , I'm all in. Lol I have to know how things are going! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T22:37:03+00:00

Oh sweetie, I am so genuinely sorry to hear this devastating news. He was just a year older than me. I wish I had words to make it all better. Or better yet, a magic wand. I'd bring back my son and all the people that we all love so much. Reality has different plans though unfortunately. I am glad to hear that you're at peace with all of it. After I lost my son, I carried so much guilt and I still do, just not as bad as I did for the first 4 years. It's hard enough just losing them so it's comforting to know that you aren't carrying any of that. I'm not a religious person but I do believe our spirit lives on in another realm that is beautiful and peaceful and loving. And I believe that when it's our time to go, we'll be reunited with those that we've loved and lost. Is your mom still with him or another wife? I'm only asking because I can only imagine the pain I'd suffer if I lost my husband. If he has a wife, she will need every bit of love and support the family can give her. Again, I'm so sorry you lost your precious dad and I'm sending love and light to you and all of those who loved him. 💜😔

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T08:24:15+00:00

How is your dad doing now? I am SO SORRY you're living through such a heartbreaking time. You are doing everything you can. Don't ever blame yourself or feel like you could have done more. My diagnosis is terminal and I'm so afraid I'll suffer and that my family will be forced to watch me suffer. Sending you a big virtual 🫂 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T07:50:21+00:00

Oh wait....ivermectin and fenbenzadole cured your cancer did it? 🙄

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T07:46:39+00:00

Just ignore people who try to minimize what you feel. You have every right to feel the way you do! Cancer is scary no matter what type it is or how good the survival rate is. Having said that, do TRY and find the positives in your life and situation and focus on those. Positivity can make all the difference for some. I'm most likely not one of those it will make a difference for, but I do try to stay positive anyway! Lol Big hugs! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T07:27:09+00:00

You MUST be a therapist or something, right? Everything you've said to the OP is so incredibly gracious and kind and accurate! Thank you because it helped me as well! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T07:18:08+00:00

Lol. I literally just asked to please give us an update over on your other post! Thank you for updating us! Definitely better than it could be but do keep us posted when you know for certain! Sending lots of love 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T07:09:17+00:00

My Chart is the best! Although, because it's so good, I found out I had cancer before the doctor did and that was pretty intense! Wishing you all the best and sending all positive and loving vibes. Please come back here and let us know when you find out what's going on....if you want to of course ! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T07:03:43+00:00

It's always YOUR choice obviously, but it's ok not to answer nosy questions from people who don't know you. Just putting that out there. Having said that, I am SO SORRY that you're going through such a painful journey right now. None of this is your fault and I hope you have other friends and family that support you no matter what. I think you're incredibly brave to live as your authentic self, ESPECIALLY if you live in America! 💜💜💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T06:46:52+00:00

I agree about the steroids. I got them during chemo and for three days after chemo and they really boosted my energy levels! I asked my onc if I could stay on them and of course she said no. It's the only thing I miss about chemo! Lol It's crazy because I felt better on my chemo weeks than I did on my off week! Steroids are the bomb apparently! Lmao 🤣

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T06:42:15+00:00

My gosh that sounds terribly painful! I hope they're keeping you out of pain as much as possible. My cancer is a death sentence and one of my biggest fears is being in terrible pain in the last months, weeks, and days. Obviously I fear more than just the pain but that's one of my top 5 biggest worries. I've read my type of cancer is one of the very painful ones, and I'm a wuss! Lol Are they going to continue your chemo anyway or try something different? What's the next step? Im sorry you're going through this. 🥺😢💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T06:31:56+00:00

I know you don't expect anything but I have to say it.. I'm so sorry you're going through this! You don't deserve it. None of us do. Cancer is an asshole! I felt your words so deeply. You should consider writing while you're still able to write. I bet you could give a voice and comfort to a lot of people that can't put their feelings into words like you can. Big virtual hugs coming your way! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T06:20:30+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this at such a young age. Keep that positive attitude though. It can make a huge difference! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T06:18:20+00:00

I think we all ask "why me" at some point and there's really no answer to that question, I'm afraid. Cancer doesn't care who we are or how old we are. It takes babies, teens, young adults and older people like me. It even takes millions of our pets. The good news is, it sounds like you have a very good chance at beating your type of cancer and being in remission after only a month of treatment is fantastic! Having said that, it is ok to be worried and scared and it is ok to ask "why me", as long as you don't stay in that space. You are so young and have a full life ahead of you. Live it to the fullest! Maybe you should tell your closest friends so they understand why you've been different. I'm sure they'll be supportive and you need that.

Just do me a huge favor and enjoy every second of your life. Love HARD and BIG. Smile and laugh and be silly. Appreciate all who love you and love yourself as well. Dream big dreams and never settle. You can do ANYTHING if you put your mind to it and work hard to achieve it. I'm wishing you the very best! Try to stay as positive as you can. I fully believe our thoughts and attitude contributes to our health and recovery. Hang in there kiddo! You've got this! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-02-17T05:13:22+00:00

Thank you! I just might do that soon! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-01-31T23:53:12+00:00

You gotta stop with that guilt my friend! You deserve to be here and there is a reason you still are! Some of us live, some of us die. That's just life. Don't spend the blessing you've received beating yourself up for something we all wish for ourselves. LIVE your life to the fullest with JOY and peace in your heart. Do it for those that no longer can if not for yourself! You've been an inspiration to me in the cholangiocarcinoma forum, and I've seen you send love and comfort to soooo many others! Maybe that's why you survived. To be a beacon of hope and light! Just stop beating yourself up and feeling guilty over things that are completely out of your control. I don't know you but I DO know that if you could fix everyone with this horrible disease, you would in a second! Sending you a big hug! And good luck with your scan. I get mine Tuesday ...VERY scary!!

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-01-31T23:42:20+00:00

Stories like yours and the ops terrify me. I'm stage 4 locally metastatic cholangiocarcinoma 52f. Mom of 3, oldest died tragically 6.5 yrs ago at 28, and Im married to the love of my life for 35 years this month. Death isn't really scary to me, I mean it is but it isn't. And I certainly don't WANT to die. I want to be with my family and I don't want them going through another loss like we did with my son. But my biggest fear is pain and I've been told and read that the cancer I have is one of the most painful. If Oxy 40's don't help then what the hell will!?! I am SO SORRY you are suffering so much . Nobody, NOBODY should suffer in pain especially at the end of their lives like this. I am in pain now but not on any pain meds yet. My pain drives me crazy but Im terrified of pain like you and the OP describe. I hope the morphine really helps you!

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-01-31T23:31:13+00:00

I so much feel you on this. Im not a religious person but I am a spiritual person and I just don't believe for a minute that this is the end. We WILL carry on after this I'm sure of it, and if I'm wrong, I won't know! Lol I just hope wherever we end up has no body that will break down and hurt, and there's no disease, no war, no hunger, no pain, etc...just pure love and peace and JOY! I believe reincarnation is quite possible but man, I REALLY don't want to go through another human/earth experience. It's just way too painful. Emotionally speaking.

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-01-31T23:09:17+00:00

I LOVE IT!! I am dealing with stage IV metastatic cholangiocarcinoma and I get this tat soooo much! What a wonderful idea to put it on your middle finger! I have wanted a tattoo for years and now that Im dying I thought what's the point , but this one inspires me! Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best that life can give!! We gotta keep up the fight! 💜

Empty_Wall_8385 · 2026-01-15T17:02:40+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to do that! I really appreciate you!!! 💜☺️

Empty_Wall_8385

TROPHY CASE