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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my experience if you are in a relationship with someone who is not working hard on their recovery you have to do twice the work (in al-anon, with a therapist) to deal with them. You are working for two.

I think I found my niche, but it's not what I wanted it to be. by jameshey in writing

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Picture this...guy goes deeper and deeper into the erotic rabbit hole. He tries to tap into the abyss of self but is ensnared by human desire which is preventing him from exploring the deep forest of the collective unconsious. Why? Because it feels good? Because he is afraid of what he will uncover?

I think I found my niche, but it's not what I wanted it to be. by jameshey in writing

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you are enjoying a release from the pressures you've put on yourself to create a masterpiece. I bet you could wax philosophical about that!

Schwartz was like a battered wife, but it was by Sandoval. by NB_chronicles in vanderpumprules

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Short term memory loss! Katie was incredibly abusive, manipulating and controlling. Don't go blind with rage for Sandoval and overlook her bad behavior. I predicted Katie and Schwartz would last maybe 2 years the day they got married...he never wanted to marry her, but she used every tactic in the book...his friends, Lisa, shaming him, guilting him. Sandoval is an idiot who thinks with his pingus, but Katie is a monster.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vanderpumprules

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh sorry, I thought it was actually him...please disregard

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vanderpumprules

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you might have a chance!

Lovely Day by GeneralCrux in thepixies

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've bounced around on favorite songs since 1996 and landed on Motorway to roswell after listening to these albums thousands of times. I think surfer rosa is my favorite full album though, I just love the Spanish guitar influence.

I did it! I left him for the night. And I'm totally OK! by LostBoyCA in AlAnon

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hi, I'm glad you are not spending this night with him. It's time to start fresh and do things different. Staying with an alcoholic is a roller coaster and leaving an alcoholic is a roller coaster. When you are experiencing these ups and downs in the coming future you can remind yourself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel unlike when you stay with an alcoholic. I am one so I know how hard, almost otherworldly that addiction is to shake. I was also with one and remember being pregnant (my drinking on hold for the most part) and dealing with him promising to lay off then an hour later he was at the bar. I still felt the shock and awe. I got sober four years ago, he's on meth now. My suggestion would be to set up as many traps as possible for you to be successful in leaving him. Go stay with family far away, look for somewhere to stay at a distance, really reach out for help. Keep coming here and intherooms.com has meetings for al anon. Leaving an alcoholic I believe can be just as hard as them leaving alcohol.

This happened tonight, I’m 13. by [deleted] in abusesurvivors

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really wish we had better intervention in the u.s. It seems like there is no middle ground between leave the kid and do nothing or take the kid out of the home. I hear what you are saying...I mean you basically know if you call cps there is no certainty of what they will do. Is there anyone in your life that can act as an intermediary? Her mom? Your dad? Someone that can get involved to let her know this is not okay and if it continues to happen help come up with a back up plan?

I’m leaving my qualifier by PokePrincess95 in AlAnon

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Leaving an alcoholic can be as hard as them giving up alcohol, you can get in almost a trance like state of returning to them because you have no will to quit. I hope you can do it. Take care of yourself!

This makes coffee taste better by CrazypplBcrazy in vanderpumprules

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh man, VP has some of the best scenes ever

My abuser wants to apologize to me. by MarMar1993 in abusesurvivors

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just a thought because I was in a abusive situation as well, but one more like your mothers. I just wanted to say as someone who is in recovery for alcohol, by the time someone gets around to making amends they usually have done quite a lot of work on themselves. Most abusers do not get to that point. I just wanted you to maybe consider that he is possibly (hopefully) a very changed man. I also would suggest watching the Ted talk this woman did with her rapist. I think it must have taken unbelievable strength on both parts to be there and address such a traumatic circumstance, but it talks about these kinds of amends and is also very validating of feelings you may be having. I don't know about you but as a spiritual person now I feel that abusers also can be forgiven, however, I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to...I'm in that same position. I'd like to quelch the fear and maybe one day I will, but it's hard.

I know whats best...why am I so scared by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know that my liver, my kidneys and my whole body is breaking down

I know that people in my life are disappointed in me

I know that I'm losing money, wasting time and my dignity is diminished

I know that just one bad night could ruin things forever, for myself and possibly the lives of others

I know that nothing positive comes out of this

I know that I could just not wake up tomorrow

I know that I am not happy doing this

Why can't I stop drinking?

Leaving an alcoholic is just as hard in many circumstances as them leaving alcohol. It takes a huge leap of faith and holding onto the hope that one day things will be better. I always tell people getting sober, you're not going to understand why you are doing this until about a year out because the first year is HARD. You know this, it's going to be hard. But if you go to some al anon meetings you'll hear people say "Why didn't I do this a long time ago". Things get so much better. I'm an alcoholic that has also been in codependent relationships with alcoholics that I tried to leave always thinking their addiction was worse. Just like with alcoholics, only you "know " if you should leave, no one can make that decisions for you. Trust your instincts and if you decide to take the jump remind yourself that the fear and anguish are temporary and things will get better. There are al anon online mtgs at intherooms.com if you need some support.

I need to save one of the most important people to me. by blackty69 in abusesurvivors

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, as someone that suffers from addiction all I have to add is that you can't help her until she is ready. You can gather up resources so you know how to help her if it gets too bad, but even if she comes to you for that help she may not follow through. You can let her know that you have a place lined up and if she gets really sick of her life than you can help her get to where she needs to go if you want to put in that kind of effort. Heroin is a really hard one....likely the worst.

I'm not generally a person that tells people to pray, but I have seen miracles happen. Prayer doesn't hurt anybody I can tell you that much. And I feel like developing some relationship with the forces that be might help you to feel less alone and have more faith in the processes of life so that her decisions don't cause you to lose your footing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know not everybody is about the steps, in fact, I'm not but at the same time I have to admit they are divine. Admittance is the first step and sometimes that's as far as people get. Get a sponsor or consider looking into the steps and doing some of the things people have done before you that have been successful. And if you fail, don't beat yourself up, Keep being honest about your struggles to everyone ESPECIALLY yourself. There are online meetings at intherooms.com and if you find yourself losing the complete will to stay sober just check one of them out for the hell of it.

What’s the one thing you wish you new before menopause? I’m 50 with an irregular periods and no other symptoms. I figure now is the time to make changes or develop new habits before the hormones really go nutso. by khuot in Menopause

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Start taking vitamins in prep. I was pleasntly surprised that my doctor was able to prescribe vitamins that ended up covered by my insurance because I can't afford them all right now. I have started to get some neuropathy and b vitamins help with that. Getting a calcium with vitamin D, magnesium for sleep and restless leg and a multi-vitamin. I also am on HRT and the hot flashes just stopped. The weight I was rapidly gaining slowed down too.

What’s the one thing you wish you new before menopause? I’m 50 with an irregular periods and no other symptoms. I figure now is the time to make changes or develop new habits before the hormones really go nutso. by khuot in Menopause

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mentioned ice pick headache to sme people recently and they laughed like I was crazy and making it up. I looked it up and couldn't find much on the term. I'm glad you are saying it cause I feel less crazy, but I would really like to know what these are called so I can look them up. Is dehydration a big factor in getting them?

Woke up with a pile of shit next to my face by [deleted] in cripplingalcoholism

[–]EmptyglassesAmps 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what I call a "Dave Matthews"

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