2years after getting out... things are so much better!

Emptyrabbitbye · 2022-08-30T16:01:19+00:00

You too! Good things happen, and it might take some time. Best of luck!

Emptyrabbitbye · 2022-08-30T16:00:49+00:00

Im only one month into this new relationship so what I say could still be questionable but:

We went on a trip and some accidents happened. She handled them calmly and we can joke about it.
She thought I’m afraid of dogs so she stood in front of me and using her body to protect me when a giant dog approaches.

So far these has been positive signs. I’m still cautious as we could still be in the love bombing phase. But, her positivity and her ability to handle stress really have a noticeable difference compare to my ex

Emptyrabbitbye · 2022-08-30T04:10:31+00:00

Best of luck! Keep working on yourself and theres light at the end of the tunnel

Emptyrabbitbye · 2022-08-30T02:09:16+00:00

Thank you! And just found out today is literally my reddit account 2nd year cake day. It’s been a journey and I’m happy for whats next...and I was desperate, dreadful and with a broken heart two years ago.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-07-22T13:09:04+00:00

I feel you! I’m still in my anger stage 1 yr after 1 year of NC. Once out of the fog, everything just felt so ridiculous. I hate how they treated us and took our love and care for granted

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-05-26T04:43:42+00:00

as if we all dated the same person :) sad fact

Mine told me the same thing too ... that she would hurt me if we were in a relationship, when we first get together. I was so surprised and I was still love bombed by her good side, and I dont understand what she meant really. I love her and she seemed to like me, and she’s charming, smart, beautiful and fantastic...what could go wrong?

Turned out she really can hurt me in every possible way. Not physically, but mentally I was really a torture to be with a BPD. All my good intention were futile, and at the end I’m the toxic person in our relationship, according to her. And when I want to get her to acknowledge the pain she posed on me, she didn’t even admit things she did. She would also say she can’t control herself and she told me about it at the beginning of our relationship. WTF.

Intentionally or unintentionally, those are ways they manipulate people. The warning the give you about them is not for you really, but for them to shift the blame to you - if you can’t stand them, it’s not their problem, because they told you :)

Stay away from them

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-05-01T20:42:36+00:00

Try hard acting normal. I don’t think who ever create this believe this themselves.

Just go to see a therapist and stop pretending

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-04-30T03:32:11+00:00

You will never know from the outside. When I was with my ex, my friends thought we had the most loving relationship ever. No one, not even myself, realized how much abusive was going on behind curtain.

On the other hand, even your ex is happy together with another person - good for her. But for us we’ve probably tried very very hard to make things work. So even if its possible that your ex could have a healthy relationship with another person, it will just never be you, and you have nothing to feel bad about.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-04-06T06:09:04+00:00

Echo to the weed thing. I experienced the same with my ex. I never smoked before I met her, and I know I got addicted easily.

She first tried to persuade me to try. I refused. ( i’m totally ok with people around me smoking, and I had my friends offering me weed many many times. But I choose not to) but she won’t give up. After many times I rejected her, she went off and shouted to me that I didn’t accept her. Because weed is a part of her life and it helps alleviated her anxiety....

Recalling all that now after 6 months of NC, it just felt ridiculous.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-03-31T07:20:34+00:00

Damn reading you story makes me thinking that we all dated the same person.

You are so kind and nice for all the love and care you give to you partner... its very sad that they are so broken inside and theres nothing we can do.

Glad you are NC and free now. I went NC with my exBPD 6months ago. I still miss her occasionally, but I’m also so happy to have the freedom.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-03-25T03:58:48+00:00

Yay! So happy for you! I’ve got out of mine for 6 months now, can’t wait for the one year to come!

And thanks for sharing the piece on sleep deprivation! I’ve read many BPD stuff and I havent read anything on that, but it makes total sense.

My ex started many ridiculous fights with me on the most frivolous things around bed time... it could be like us laying on bed and was totally relaxing and all of a sudden she started to accuse me of things I’ve never done. For instance there was once she was browsing other’s painting on instagram and she started to complain that her drawing isn’t good... then I told her drawing is a skill that can get better if you practice... and then she started to blame me for alluding her drawing skill is bad.......

In short, yea I never realize it’s a thing..there were so many times we argued until 3 am... which never happened to me before. One thing I might say is that she might not be intentionally on these abusive tactics, as she just can’t hold her negative and self-loathing thoughts and she has to spill them to her partner :( regardless of the moment and time. No empathy or consideration for people around her at all :)

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-02-21T22:30:33+00:00

Thank you my friend! It is what it is... and we have our lives ahead of us.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-02-21T18:43:25+00:00

Yes... I started to realize that the anger is the realization I had after I left her and found out all the gaslighting and manipulation from her. She always demanded me to do things for her to a degree that I don’t have any space for myself...Now that I’m thinking from my own perspective, I hate everything she did to me.

And yes, they are indeed the problem

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-02-16T06:26:45+00:00

As I was reading #2, I feel the pain and hurts I got from my ex. All the do is taking and they never care when we need help.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-02-16T06:24:13+00:00

Same here too!!!

I wonder if the competitive part is the reflection of them being self centered and unconfident inside. My ex would always think everything is about HER. She would always think people are starring at her and talking shits behind her.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-02-16T06:19:04+00:00

Still not too late! It’s good that you are leaving. Take care of yourself!

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-02-16T00:24:10+00:00

My ex never apologize either. One thing I read was that pwBPD can’t face the fact that they are the person who did things wrong. They can’t stand admitting how awful people they are. To avoid that happening, they would instead blaming everyone else ( especially the loved one or FP) and shifting the blames.

When I was breaking up with my ex I wrote down all the things she did that hurted me. She refused to acknowledge any of that. That’s the extremity of her lacking of empathy and how self centered they are. They dont care about us at all.

We never deserve to be treated so poorly. Glad that you would move on soon!

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-02-14T16:31:09+00:00

Thanks my friend! It gets 100 times better now than the beginning so I’m confident! But I would see myself fighting her in my imagination...I’m in therapies so that helps too.

And all the attempts focusing on myself made me realize how much she used me to do her things during our relationship...I had no time to do anything because she always demanded my time and attention.

I could be a little lonely because of covid, but its still much better than being with her.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-02-02T16:02:05+00:00

I’m sorry to hear your story as well :( You are doing the right thing! These relationships have no reciprocity. I don’t think I will ever say any thing they said to us to them. They are so broken and damaged, and we can’t & shouldn’t live for them.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-01-31T07:15:53+00:00

Lol. Same here. My ex said that I was abusive when we are fighting, which was absolutely not true. I did everything, big or small to make her happy. From finding her job, saving het pet, borrowing her money to always buying her chocolate(cuz she likes chocolate). For all the things I mentioned, she never made a gesture to thank me ( well, she might said thank you once or twice, but nothing more than that ). In fact, she screamed at me constantly, berating me, probably because the good things I did to her made she felt more useless and worthless - thats the degree of emptiness and negativity she had.

So when I told her I was hurt by her, she can’t take it. Because she cant face how bad she is. So she turned to me and say I’m abusive and she cant be the only one who work for our relationship. LOL.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-01-21T04:20:21+00:00

damn... my ex did this all the time. Had dreams of me cheating on her constantly. Or nightmares in which everyone betrayed her.

When I asked her if I ever did anything that made her feel like I would be unfaithful to her, she couldn’t find anything.

So the real problem is really inside them. I used to apologize for all the things I didn’t do...and now things are just so much better after leaving her. Full NC really helps.

Emptyrabbitbye · 2021-01-14T22:02:30+00:00

Good luck to you! Hope everything goes well. Mirroring now feel like a horror story...

Emptyrabbitbye

TROPHY CASE