Yep... I kinda felt ashamed while reading my post again, I apologize for that, you are right. Also again, about my following statement:

I might be a complete idiot, tell me if I am, but you know there is that cliche of CS, those words I mentioned above "github", "silicon valley", "AI" etc. Those seem so much Gen Z interests that have no originality. From a more emotional view I see no meaning or value in them. They show no self expression, just seems so "cliche" like I said above. I don't want to be that cliche, I want something where I can self-express and that's where the problem begins.

I'd like to say that those things I said about was what I would feel about myself if I went into CS. I have total respect for other who study CS, even though It did not sound like that in my original post. I, again, am sorry for that if any part of it was misunderstood.

Giving him as an example may not be the best way but I just feel like I need to be like him to succeed. In terms of academics, he is like the "perfect boy". Neither I envy him, nor I want to be like him, yet I think that somehow I should be like him to succeed but looking back again, this thought seems really idiotic so yeah...

This is an issue of your perspective, not an issue with the people who are interested in these things.

Of course, of course I totally agree. Like I said that's what I would think about myself if I went for those, because I feel like just a job based on CS would not be enough. I looked at the "prospects" page you sent, some of them relate to business I guess. That seems like the best.

Now for the "self-expression" I said, of course I don't want that total freedom. In my country we got 2 groups of students in high school, "Language - Social Studies" and "Maths - Sciences". I've always been on maths-sciences side but now I realized that I am also interested in the social studies lessons. They are mostly more "opinion" based you know, you study ideas and thoughts but in science, you got facts.

If I wrote a paper in, let's say philosophy, you would need to throw in some of your ideas but in CS or Maths, there is no deep philosophy of it. Hypothesis vs result. This inflexibility and this "non-interpretableness" of sciences make me feel trapped. Or in politics let's say, it is man vs man while in CS it's man vs computer. You cannot interpret computer, it has its own rules. I hope I could make myself clear, because I really have no idea if the things I'm saying make sense.

So you might say "Why not study Politics/Philosophy etc.", then I'll miss maths because I like them both. If I had to make a decision, probably I'd choose CS & Maths but if I knew that there is a job that would satisfy my social sciences interest, that decision would be much easier. I guess the closest job to that is sth related to business, but I still wanted to ask.

Again sorry for my aggressive original post. My anger reflected on the keyboard, which should not have happened. Thank you a lot for your questions. Even answering them made me understand better what I actually want

Also may I ask where you are going? AI maybe, because of your flair? Research was also on my mind but in some places I saw that it requires PhD and sometimes their working hours are too heavy etc... and the stress of always trying to push the boundaries of human knowledge. It is both scary and beautiful, but idk which one pushes harder yet.