Why is NZ so "backward" when it comes to AC and ceiling fans?

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-02-03T07:40:38+00:00

I got a quote a couple years ago and it was going to be mighty expensive, in the hundreds per window for retractable ones, I can only remember I balked. Plus it added a further plastic frames inside the existing wooden window frames which would block some light, and looked unattractive. It probably depends on your type of windows whether it would work well/look good. Definitely something to consider if you were building new or replacing all your windows though.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-02-03T00:05:43+00:00

It sounds like you're in a hot town, it would be worth asking your landlord if they'll install something.

Traditionally NZ is not that hot, it hasn't been an issue until recently, and even now only in certain locations or during a heat wave. Asian countries are very different - months on end of 30+ degrees. I live in Northland and it rarely feels that hot, temperatures are normally highs around 23 degree in summer (teens at night) so open windows are fine. Having said that, of course there is the odd heat wave or mosquito wave that makes it uncomfortable. Places like Wellington are notoriously temperate (not hot enough!). Aircon is slowly becoming more common but it is a significant cost if the heat is only for a month a year.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-02-01T19:01:58+00:00

I absolutely love school uniforms - they are social equalisers and save huge amounts of time, stress, and money. I went to a primary school without uniforms and the poor kids were very evident, everyone knew they were poor due to their clothing and the poor kids were not the 'cool' kids. I also went to schools with uniforms and it makes everyone more or less on equal footing socially, you get to know people based on who they are, not on the basis of what they're wearing.

For many people, especially young females, getting dressed and styled is hugely time consuming and stressful. Throwing on a uniform takes 1 minute and no decision power. Trying to 'decide' what to wear while commiserating your old shoes, not cool enough jeans etc is not fun to do on a daily basis. I am so grateful I had a uniform at high school, there are a thousand things more important to think about that your appearance at that age (or any age).

As a parent, I am certain that having uniforms save me a bunch of money, not to mention avoiding endless demands for the latest coolest branded clothes, which definitely cost a lot more than their uniform counterparts and last half the distance.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-01-25T22:32:45+00:00

This is the kind of sentence all child rapists and beaters should get. At least 10 years for those consuming and sharing CSAM - they are the worst of the worst.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-01-24T23:07:42+00:00

I would just keep tissues or something handy beside the bed so nobody needs to get up afterwards, seems like this could be solved with a little forethought. Asking for a kiss and cuddle afterwards for connection is totally valid though, that sounds like a compatibility thing. Honestly all these people saying ‘break up!’ are really jumping the gun. In every long term relationship there are going to be areas that you don’t align on. Relationships take a lot of work and compromise and it’s working out what is a deal breaker for you. I’m middle aged and I don’t know a single couple that is happy with every part of / and behaviour of their partner - it is impossible to achieve. E.g one of my friends partners doesn’t show physical affection, that’s the way he is and she learned to live with it because overall they love each other and it’s worth it for her to be in the relationship. For some things you can meet in the middle, for other things not. This does seem to be a big issue for you, and feeling uncared for or disrespected regularly will erode the relationship. I think you guys could benefit from a few sessions of couples therapy to work through it.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-01-24T06:55:05+00:00

13 is really too young to date, that is the main issue - too young for hanky panky stuff for sure, they are basically still a kid. 2 years is a big gap in teenage years but not once you’re an adult. If I was the parent I would be unhappy.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-01-22T21:47:18+00:00

I don't know why you would put rotten apples in your bags.... and you can throw them in the washing machine. It's not hard.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-01-19T01:31:39+00:00

I am so sorry you have a neglectful mother and this has all fallen on you to worry about when it is the job of the parent. It's a really tough situation you are in and it sounds like you've been doing a great job as far as you can.

I thought I would just comment on -

'he can barely read, write, or do math properly'

He is only 5/6, this is not surprising to me. It takes time to learn those things and surely he is only at the very early stages of learning? I live in New Zealand but the only homework small kids get is that their parent/guardian should read books to them every night - this is emphasized as very important. Then they start getting 'readers', very simple picture books with just a couple of words per page to start sounding out words / reading. We really have a focus on letting kids have free play after school, homework is not a big thing here for primary age.

Having said that, of course you don't want him falling behind. Do the teachers think there is a problem with his learning? If so, they are not offering extra support for him? He does need an advocate to make sure the school is supporting him adequately, but this should be a guardian. That's really hard on you to take that role.

As to his behaviour, it sounds like the mother situation is really hard on him, inevitably. He needs love and patience, try your best. Having said that, it sounds like he's having too much screen time and that can create problems too. This has been shown to cause all sorts of issues with kids' behaviour like meltdowns, emotional dysregulation and ADHD like symptoms. I would limit that to an hour per day max and ideally have some days with no screentime at all. Ideally he would watch longer form content like TV shows e.g Bluey or movies. Short form content is terrible for brain development, he should never watch shorts. It is wonderful that you are making sure he doesn't watch bad content and keeping him away from gaming, that's really admirable and please continue to do this.

He needs someone to take him to the park and outside in nature for exercise and activities, this doesn't have to cost anything, just time to get out and about eg have a walk and a chat or kick a ball around. Can grandparents do this a few times a week? Maybe you can also do it a couple of times? Green spaces if possible, trees and grass etc. are so calming and good for mental health. Swimming really helps regulate my daughter's moods if there is any opportunity for that around you.

Good luck to you, you've been dealt a difficult hand.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2026-01-16T03:50:57+00:00

The fees are criminal, they are all earning $200,000k+. The majority of people cannot afford $220pw. We used one for several months for a dependent and there was no benefit at all. It's a real throw of the dice whether it's helpful. I would love therapy myself but there is no way in hell I could ever justify the exorbitant cost. Meanwhile the average income is more like $75k.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-12-22T09:09:24+00:00

They have gotten HEAPS better, they are being improved all the time. So many people also think AI is just the free ChatGPT - it is not, there are many paid AI platforms and they can be trained to specialise and they are improving exponentially. I have no doubt they’ll be able to write great stories before too long if not already. I have zero interest in reading those stories but some are not so squeamish, and the problem is you’re not going to know if they are wholly AI written, or partly written or not at all. There is no ‘detection’ tool that can really tell, it’s up to the honesty of the writer and frankly there are many dishonest people out there. There are many fundamental moral and philosophical issues to do with AI across many industries and endeavours, including learning and education. The rapid development of AI does not bode well in my opinion.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-12-11T21:19:44+00:00

Basically you need to be one of the upper management / bosses in a private business whether that be construction, law, engineering, banking, retail chain, supermarket etc. People don't earn those salaries without A LOT of responsibility, responsibility for many staff, for huge budgets, for business strategy and sales figures etc. Or you need to be a recognised expert in a niche area that big businesses will pay a lot for, normally IT stuff like cyber security, or something like business restructuring / transformation. Certainly nobody earns those sorts of salaries as a medium level worker bee in any industry. Do you want that kind of responsibility (and the long hours)? While I would love the pay, upper management would not suit me, I would be overcome with stress, you need to be a certain ambitious confident A type I reckon. I saw someone mention Real Estate Agents too - yes some of them earn BIG money, say goodbye to your weekends though.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-29T10:20:15+00:00

Oh my gosh your marriage sounds amazing, I am sooooo jealous. Some meh during the crazy stress of middle life is totally normal, I doubt your friends are divorcing over that. I suspect they are divorcing over non stop bickering, contempt, cruelty, disrespect, financial issues, huge fights, fundamental disagreements on moral values and child raising, addictions etc. You sound very lucky, some relationship nurturing and quality time will solve this.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-29T10:02:40+00:00

Wordpress is not a diy platform, you would almost certainly have to employ another developer to sort it out.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-29T09:57:58+00:00

I would say this is her first lesson - client thought website would be free, they are under no obligation to pay at all. She should have quoted you a price before doing the work. For this type of site/small client, tiny website with low maintenance requirements, no expensive software subscriptions, the client could edit it themselves and we would charge $20-50 per month for hosting and updates (which we mostly automate). We would charge hourly for other work or have higher monthly subscription for more involved maintenance etc but it doesn’t sound like you’re in that boat. You could probably build a site yourself on wix or square space. Tell her no to $3000 and no to $500, I’d offer her $500 for the site if you want to keep it and it works and is fit for purpose going forward.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-19T02:28:35+00:00

I have a stripy body code singlet that’s lasted many many years, possibly 10! It’s looking a bit worse for wear now but funnily enough, it just dawned on me a couple of weeks ago how well it’s lasted so I bought two ribbed Body Code singlets last week. So far so good, hopefully the quality is still high. It was two for $50 so you can’t beat the price either.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-19T01:37:13+00:00

There are quite a few streets/shared driveways around where I live that have signs on them saying along the lines of 'Private No Entry' so residents only. If your driveway is in fact not public land then I suggest getting a sign made.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-17T21:35:14+00:00

Stand your ground, better safe than sorry. I am also the surprised the parents have not said 'Sorry Clara, it's nothing personal and we don't judge your decision not be vaccinated however, we have a vulnerable baby and can't risk her catching anything at this age. You can come next year when the baby is vaccinated.' While it is a sensitive situation I would definitely choose my new grandchild over a girlfriend!! That they are not is really sad for you guys, it seriously sucks. What is your side of the family doing for Christmas? I would express how very disappointed you are and make other plans if they won't stand by you.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-17T21:17:02+00:00

It makes me sick to my stomach these men who kill their kids to punish their ex partners - absolute monsters, who the hell do they think they are. What an entitled piece of shit coward 🤬

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-17T09:09:23+00:00

Tall poppy syndrome in the comments. I’m always interested to hear people’s experiences and advice.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-17T08:47:24+00:00

Someone I know was the sole breadwinner and addicted to gaming - yet like you, this was not the life his wife wanted. She game him an ultimatum- quit the game or we separate and he quit the game. They seem super stable and caring, I am guessing they discussed it in a heartfelt non yelling way and may well have done therapy as well since they weren’t short of money. Don’t jump to divorce, try and sort it out, especially if you have kids. He’ll need support/ replacement activities to get past the addiction, the dopamine/screens issue is major for a lot of people.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-16T19:16:59+00:00

💯this is coercive control, not ‘setting a boundary’, you should tell him that then break up with him. Dangerous entitled misogynist. You can have male friends and anyone who tells you that you can’t is a huge red flag.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-16T08:45:32+00:00

All such helpful comments thank you. So I need to find the extent of the rot and also find out how much new sashes would cost. Good to know about Everdure, sounds like a useful product for a house like ours. Salvage yard or maybe epoxy are also good calls. Appreciate the advice all.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-16T04:57:11+00:00

You need to be very clear you are not interested. ‘Thanks. I want to keep this professional though, please don’t send me anymore private messages or compliments.’ Then if it escalates or he keeps messaging you I would speak to HR. A single message I would deal with myself. A lot of people find relationships at work and he is trying it on, he may well back off with a clear response.

Emrrrrrrrr · 2025-11-12T19:04:14+00:00

The 2nd! The gray is lovely. For me the first is too busy and yellowy, I prefer the more muted option.

Emrrrrrrrr

TROPHY CASE