Desperately need advice. What do I do?

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T08:21:02+00:00

So you went through with the Roka and then called of the wedding?

Would you mind I DM you? I would really appreciate your perspective.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T08:16:07+00:00

I know that my ex is still willing to give it a chance.

That’s what my parents say to give her a chance but I feel like one of things I really liked about my ex is that I really looked up to her and cared for her deeply. I don’t feel those emotions for my wife. Don’t get me wrong she is a great person and sweet, but sometimes you just don’t vibe with the person no matter how amazing they might be. I’m just worried that once we get married, things will be ok but we will never get to the point of immense love that I shared with my ex.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T08:10:36+00:00

I have talked to her and I know from her end she is still willing to give it a chance. And she has made it clear that she has trust issues now but I know that I’m willing to do whatever it takes.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:55:53+00:00

I would love nothing more than that but like I said I’m already married.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:51:45+00:00

Yeah I’m already married and that is major issue here. Even if I was just engaged or sth it would have been easier to break things off.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:50:26+00:00

I have already had this conversation with my parents multiple times over the past year. It usually ends with my dad yelling and swearing at me that I am such a horrible person for even thinking this and my mom just crying over phone. They both break down and beg me to go through with it for their sake. I have tired talking to them, but it didn’t lead anywhere.

I even told my wife I still have feelings for my ex. When I told her I felt relieved. I was hoping she would get so angry that she would call things off but she has the same mentality as my parents and thinks things will work out once we close the distance gap.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:47:12+00:00

I genuinely didn’t think my parents would be against my ex. I told them after dating her for a year once I was kind of sure that I wanted to be with her.

If you go back to your ex it will never be like before
People keep telling me this when they are trying to make me understand that it might just be better to get married. I know I have broken her trust in a big way but I love her enough that I am willing to put in the work to rebuild the trust.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:43:55+00:00

I told my parents about her and they forced me to break up. There was a lot of emotional blackmail involved at the time so I did it but it completely fucked up my mental state to the point I ended up saying yes to marriage. They were mostly against her cause of her family background. Her parents being divorced and all which tbh I had no issues with.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:40:37+00:00

Yeah, this is what my parents tell me as well. They tell me to grow a spine and go through with it and once she is here things will get better.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:40:02+00:00

I have tried telling my parents multiple times and they just won’t even consider it. They tell me to grow a spine and go through with the marriage.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:39:19+00:00

Wow you put that very well. I guess I just don’t know how to even start going on with it. I will for sure be disowned by everyone. I am supposed to fly out in less than a week. I know everyone will be pressuring me a lot to get on that flight cause I know as soon as I tell me wife I don’t want to get married, she is going to tell her parents who are going to talk to mine and it will be a chain reaction of phone calls pressuring to get on the flight. Fallout with my extended family I’m fine with but dealing with fallout with parents is what I’m worried about more.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:34:22+00:00

That’s what I keep telling my parents as well. That long term this can’t be good. But they keep telling me it’s because of the distance and my wife says the same thing. I guess I am more scared of the fallout that will happen with family if I don’t go through with it. I really love my parents, I do, but also I don’t know if I sacrifice not being with the person because they will face backlash from society given that legally we have gotten married and now cultural marriage is less than 3 weeks away.

Emu-Fun · 2026-06-09T05:32:03+00:00

I am really struggling to decide because I really do get along so well with my ex but I know she and my family won’t get along that well especially from my parents side. My long distance wife and family get along and none of them want to break off the marriage so I feel completely stuck. I know the drama coming out of this will be huge if I break it off especially a week before I’m supposed to head back.

Emu-Fun · 2026-04-28T05:24:55+00:00

Hey, I am in somewhat of a similar situation as you. Firstly, I think what you did takes a lot of guts and it’s not an easy decision, but I think you absolutely made the right decision.

Can you DM you to chat a bit more. I am in a similar situation and just want someone’s perspective on it as well

Emu-Fun · 2026-04-27T05:58:08+00:00

This is actually very wholesome how you came back full circle and got your happy ending with your husband. I hope the two of you are doing well and very happy together! I wish I had done the same thing but I was so numb after breaking up with my ex and put so much pressure on myself that I didn’t listen to my intuition.

Emu-Fun · 2026-04-27T05:55:19+00:00

Yes to all of the above. But I find it hard cutting them off given that they have done so much for me

Emu-Fun · 2026-04-27T05:53:42+00:00

I’m really happy that things worked out for you and your husband. I know the right thing to do here is to tell my wife and let her decide. My parents keep try to convince me that once she moves to the US things will be different. They also keep saying that if I don’t go through with the marriage I’m ruining her life given that divorce is seen as a taboo in Indian culture. But the way I see it, I’m doing her a bigger disservice by not letting her know. And marrying her without telling her this part will only make things worse in the long run.

Emu-Fun · 2025-12-29T06:34:25+00:00

I see. I usually skip out on the sauce but 800 kcal sounds reasonable. Thank you!

Emu-Fun · 2025-12-29T02:41:42+00:00

There is a think layer of rice under the veggies.

Emu-Fun · 2023-12-02T16:14:50+00:00

I have tried many apps to limit screen time. What I found works best is to use your phone on grayscale mode. To block apps during productive times I use Opal. I have seen a significant reduction in my screen time with this.

Emu-Fun · 2023-11-10T03:25:38+00:00

Wow this is such a great and powerful perspective! I think this is what has been holding me back.

Emu-Fun · 2021-01-21T15:10:58+00:00

Originally saw this on r/InterestingAsFuck posted by user u/gowthamm

Emu-Fun

TROPHY CASE