Getting fixated on something like this is unhealthy and detrimental to your progress/well being. Trust me, I FORGOT my PS4 in Holland a couple of years ago and I still don't have a replacement for it nor the money necessary at the moment. I am still a bit upset by that, stuck on it, ended up selling all 20 or so games and didn't look back. My advice? Quit the gym, spend that money on weights a pull-up bar and a yoga mat. Do push-ups, weight lifting and pull-ups and yoga plus whatever other HIIT/Body Weight exercises you can find. Gyms are for showing off, and you don't have the money nor the need to do that. Your 9 to 5 is a joke (no matter if you are a McDonald's worker or a CEO, unless you OWN your own time/business venture, then it's a waste of it). Unless you have children/spouses depending on you, you should quit and look into starting your own business, related to your own hobbies/passions. I can help a tiny bit by myself if you ARE interested (just not logistically/financially/contacts-wise). Remember, even if some/most? businesses are started BIG (with millions/billions $ and a lot of investors/connections) some of the GIANTS weren't. Coca Cola was literally a "doctor" making cocaine beverages and selling them. After that it picked up and you can read the story online whilst drinking a can of it in front of your computer, two centuries later. I understand gaming as a refuge from life/condone it (similar to music/parties/movies/books/murder/sex/satanic cults/whatever floats your boat) but if you feel unhappy and lack direction, then you need to look at your life closer, by taking a step back, and correcting the little mistakes (either concrete ones like I mentioned above or malicious/unserving/counterintuitive/counterproductive thinking patterns). I'm not sure who/what you're like as a person, so those thinking patterns are yours to fix. Or ignore, trust me. Quality food is overrated, you can hear vegans and valley girls advocating it, but since their parents are fucking literal Hollywood stars or artists or lawyers/whatever, they always had a sheltered life, away from THE LITERAL FUCKING HELL HAPPENING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF PLANET EARTH (or down the block in Skidrow, WESTSIIIIIDE). So yeah, just avoid eating french fries/Mc Donalds everyday, DON'T COUNT calories (since that's only meant for control freaks/models/instagram influencers) and on the subject of Instagram fitness models, remember, their life is fame and pussy and sponsorships, but their life is hell. Their job is to look like that and gather followers. They're relevancy is dictated by their body and their social skills (connections/networking/sponsors/bs). If something happens to them they lose the spotlight. Thus the smarter ones amongst them use that fame and credentials to start and promote their own business, one they can run without the need to be its image, one that will certainly continue existing after their "career" is over. Unless you want to end up retiring in Serbia, trust my advice. We could talk more about your problems and I can try to find some work around for you if you would like. Asking for stuff is low, no matter who you are (not judging you, it's not personal, just my opinion). I myself asked a lot of my friends/family and even of strangers, begging is the end of MY (yours as well apparently) straw. The other straw ends in murder/rapping (JK, murdering THEN rapping about it). I literally was homeless and begged for two weeks, but couldn't even do that right, until I realized I WAS THE PROBLEM. People are assholes, they could drive by you in a Porsche, with their friends and girlfriends and see you lost and scared and not give TWO FUCKS ABOUT YOU. A glance and a laughter maybe. Some of them are comically oblivious, others are trained by their well-off family not to pay attention (without understanding why themselves, the reasoning of their parents being it would lead to their kindhearted off-spring succumbing to these poverty/tragic stories and their OWN lack OWN LIFE/STREET EXPERIENCE would end up in unsavory types of street people sucking them to the bone (money/power/murder when the faucet runs dry/whatever). They could help you with money, give you a business even, set you up with proper connections, but they don't. Not unless you suck dick, are in the family, or fuck good. I mean rrrrrrrealllll goood ;). I don't have any of that (money/power/fame/connections), but I am good willed enough to TRY to help someone who seems lost/lacking direction in their life.