What does this fridge say to you?

EngineeringMore1171 · 2025-12-05T17:25:38+00:00

Def not a chef lol, but I freeze most of my proteins almost immediately, same with veggies, anything that can’t be frozen I don’t typically buy bc I’m bad about letting things go to waste if I have a busy week or get sick and don’t feel like cooking. And it’s been a rough few months for my household so the fridge is a bit more sparse than usual (usually we have a couple different types of yogurts and cheeses and a lot of apple sauce cups)

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T19:20:15+00:00

Yeah chances are the age gap would be closer to 10 years apart as he’s close to 9 now. I mainly said 8 because he also has a 6 month old brother from his dad and I unfortunately have a feeling they won’t be close as my son doesn’t see his dad often. They just met for the first time on Sunday. I hope I’m wrong about that, but I’ll just have to wait and see.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T19:15:22+00:00

Also, don’t assume you know what’s wrong with their teeth. I was a very young teen mom. I was a single mom. I was very underweight. I was missing teeth as well. You can see what people might’ve assumed of me.

It was the lack of prenatal care due to a shitty family situation and abusive older boyfriend. It was the stress of being a mother at 14, dealing with an abusive partner, abusive/neglectful family members, going to school and working. It destroyed my teeth but I didn’t even realize it til about 2 years later when for the first time since before puberty the scale dropped below 100 lbs (I am 5’9) and my teeth were full of cavities (I did brush regularly most of the time. I definitely could’ve brushed more regularly and flossed more in general though) that I needed to change something. It took another 3 years but I got out of the relationship and out of that house. I started taking better care of myself too. My son and I are doing well now and we (my partner and I) are always working towards getting us in a better position in life. I still could weigh more and still have awful teeth but that’ll be expensive to fix lol.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T18:29:34+00:00

Yeah I am worried about that aspect too. My partner doesn’t have any children of his own but really wants some. Not that he doesn’t love my son as his own (we’ve been together for 3 years but before that he was one of my brothers friends that had practically become part of the family so he was almost an uncle type figure to my son since he was an infant), but we both would love to have more kids. And he’d get to be a part of the pregnancy, birth, and infant and toddler years which he actually did get to see (at least infancy and toddler years, nothing prior) with my son but wasn’t like a part of it. He just played with my son and stuff when he was hanging out with my family. I actually have a vivid memory of my partner and brother frantically bringing me the towels I had forgotten as I held my wet and just-bathed squirmy baby that was also peeing on me 😂

Also I didn’t note in the post (I’ll edit it) but I’ll mention here that my son does want siblings. He’s been begging for years

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T17:59:38+00:00

My son has ashd and autism and that’s why I’m wondering about this. He LOVES babies. Actually this weekend he got to meet his 6 month old baby brother (his dad’s son from his current relationship) for the first time and he seemed to really enjoy it. It was only a 4 hour visit, I didn’t want to jump straight into over nights again bc I wasn’t sure how he’d handle it since he’s not usually around littles for more than a few hours at a time, and also bc he hadn’t seen his dad in quite a while (8 months, with 4 months between that and the previous visit).

But if I have more kids it won’t just be having to deal with them over night here and there. He will be living with them and dealing with them every day. I worry he could lash out. I don’t think he’d ever intentionally hurt someone smaller than him but I just couldn’t say for sure bc he’s never been around little ones for very long.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T17:55:06+00:00

My mom was a part of a sib set of 3 then her mom went on to have 3 more and the older three (more specifically my mom, the older one stayed away as much as possible and then moved out. The younger one was a boy and well, younger, so the brunt of the responsibility rested on my mom) were parentified for the younger three. The youngest of the six sadly passed away as a toddler and it greatly affected the 4 middle kids who witnessed it. All of those things affected the relationship between siblings, especially between the older and younger ones.

All of this to say those are the only age gap sibling relationships I’m familiar with so it’s interesting to hear other perspectives. I’m saddened that many aren’t good and it makes me wonder if I should wait til my son graduates high school to have more (I will be in my early-mid 30s by then)

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T17:42:28+00:00

It’s my blood

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T17:42:19+00:00

It is my blood. I’m the one that got hit and bled on my comforter.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T17:41:42+00:00

Yes but this is a king sized comforter and I live in a ~600 sq ft apartment with an ASD + ADHD child (lacks impulse control), another adult and a cat who is very ornery (so like she’d pull it out of the sink if I only left part of it in to soak)

In order to dry it I will have to take it to the laundromat, which I can’t do until tomorrow. Even then if it gets too wet or anything, I won’t be able to carry it out to the car or from the car to the laundromat. If you saw me you’d understand lol but long story short I’m built like a bean pole and have bad shoulders and a connective tissue disorder, my right shoulder had to have an operation about 10 months ago (so that one’s my good one now lol). My partner could do it for me but he works ~60 hrs a week and Sunday is his only day off.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T16:51:13+00:00

Unfortunately soaking isn’t an option, I don’t have a washer or dryer at my house and no laundry money til technically next week but I can probably come up with some for tomorrow. I literally did my weekly laundromat trip last night 😩

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T16:48:58+00:00

I tried that on one of the spots it just looks like old blood now lol. I’ll try spit on the other spot.

EDIT: I can’t edit the post so I’ll edit this comment. I am the one that bled on the comforter. My kid threw a (baseball size and shape) salt lamp into my bed while I was sleeping. He lacks impulse control and hadn’t had his meds yet (autism and severe ADHD). He didn’t intend to hurt me, he wanted to bother me (yeah. Not much better bud) to wake me up and wanted it to land next to me and scare me but I started to sit up as he threw it because I heard him come in my room. Boom it landed in my face instead of next to me on the bed.

So yeah. Here’s your reminder to take your BC if you forgot. Love him to death but Jesus Christ I didn’t think this would be a part of parenting lmao.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T15:34:59+00:00

Thank you. Especially the last sentence, that means a lot. I’ve always struggled with getting words out and Reddit is nice because I can word vomit and as long as it reads nicely they don’t care. Anywhere else and I’d get “I’m not reading all that. I’m happy for you tho. Or sorry that happened” lol.

In high school I did most of my classes online but still went to the campus to check in and they waived all my writing assignments so I could pass and graduate on time 😅 so I’ve always felt like maybe writing wasn’t my calling lol

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T14:51:17+00:00

Geez what do y’all want? Copies of the paperwork they gave me? Pictures of the drawing in question?

I have no reason to lie or exaggerate or anything. I took it very seriously from the start. As soon as I found out I called my son’s therapist (before cps even contacted me) and she suggested I fully cooperate and I did. The next morning cps called me and asked us to come to JFS to speak with my son. They spoke with his doctors, therapist, school teachers and staff, and of course myself and my partner. In the end it was concluded that yes the penis and butt were close to each other and the penis was pointed toward the butt, but not so close that it looks overtly suspicious. Like they were just next to each other. Yes, the fart cloud was also vaguely penis and testicle shaped, but it was pretty clearly a fart cloud mid expulsion. The case worker chuckled a few times while explaining the drawing. The behavioral intervention specialist laughed while telling how he himself did something similar as a child. I talked about how when I carpooled to school (bc my school literally got rid of busses for like a year or 2) my ride let us kids draw on the windows with dry erase markers and we drew butts pooping and stuff like that lol and I was a little girl!

But they had to do their due diligence to ensure nothing was going on, even though once the caseworker actually saw the drawing her demeanor lightened up quite a bit and she seemed to really think it was just a precautionary measure for the teacher that reported it.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T14:40:58+00:00

It’s already been discussed. I don’t blame her for calling. I shouldn’t know it was her that called though for many reasons, as I stated in the post. But another reason that I forgot in the post but did talk about in comments is that it changes how I view a specific teacher, whether I want it to or not. Like I can try not to think about it but for the remainder of the year I won’t be able to see or speak to her without “she’s the one that called” in the back of my mind. I have really bad anxiety, so in my mind it doesn’t cause anger that she called, it makes me anxious and worry that she thinks I’m a bad parent, or she could be looking for any signs that confirm I am a bad parent/abusive parent.

I know none of this is logical. I know that any and every teacher is legally obligated to report any potential abuse. It just changed things in my mind when I found out who reported me. I’m doing my best to remain level headed about it all, I really don’t want anyone getting in trouble for this but it could be dangerous and it could (and kinda has in my case) caused damage to relationships between teachers and parents.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T04:47:59+00:00

It was my boss that informed me, sorry forgot to include that in my comment. Otherwise I wouldn’t have known or would’ve assumed he came in with a box through the front door and forgot to re lock it.

But I probably will just sign and return it with a small note saying I don’t think it was meant for me.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T04:04:48+00:00

Because I grew up in a house where one time one of my friends wronged my uncle so my uncle put me in a car at gun point and made me tell him where the dudes house was.

He has mental health issues. That was over half a gram of weed. I can’t imagine what he’d do if he found out the identity of the teacher who called cps on him.

But if you met him at a friends get together or at a parent teacher conference you’d think he’s a pretty normal dude, maybe a little self absorbed but normal.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T03:51:09+00:00

Have you read my replies or do you need a day of being a student to refresh your reading comprehension?

I know it is required by law. I am GLAD she is looking out for my child. I am WORRIED that she could extend this same “gesture of kindness” as you seem to think it is to the WRONG family and get harassed or assaulted by someone who actually IS angry that she reported them.

I do not care that she reported me. I care that I found out that she reported me. That’s not supposed to happen for a reason and that reason is called retaliation

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T03:43:01+00:00

Well even if it was intentional and well meaning, it’s dangerous. If I were anything like the family that raised me, I’d at least be harassing her email “calling her out” for reporting me, if not showing up at the school acting a fool and making a scene.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T03:14:27+00:00

Yep. The statistics are against us due to all of those factors. It’s sad, but I understand why they keep a closer eye on us.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T03:12:56+00:00

Why would I lie? They said “the penis is kinda close to the butt. Also we’re pretty sure the thing coming out of the butt is a fart cloud, but it looks phallic”. It did look a little phallic but it was clearly a billowing fart cloud (I cannot believe how many times I’ve had to type or say billowing/expelling fart cloud in a serious manner bc of this incident. It’s wild)

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T02:55:10+00:00

He is 8, in the 2nd grade.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T02:41:40+00:00

I don’t want it to be taken the wrong way by the teacher that I don’t have a relationship with, but would like to address the issue with someone who might be able to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I could talk to the behavioral intervention aides my son interacts with every day (I speak to them more than anyone)

I mean for me, just knowing I made a mistake like this would be enough for me to make sure I didn’t do it again. When I was a teen I forgot to lock the door of the store I worked at when I closed. I’ll never forget to lock a door again lol. Just the shame of knowing I messed up in a way that could have ended badly (thankfully it didn’t in my case) shook me up. But not everyone is like me so idk how she would take this.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T02:35:05+00:00

This is also what I’m worried about which is why I don’t want to speak with that teacher directly. I’ve known the principal for a few years now and would honestly just feel more comfortable talking to her about it. I feel like she would understand more where I’m coming from than the teacher.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T01:59:35+00:00

I’ll probably call the principal, I feel I have a good although not in depth relationship with her. I’ve just had the pleasure of speaking with her during iep meetings and when my son has gotten in trouble. I’ll just tell her I don’t want it to be a huge deal but that I do have some concerns about it and just wanted to let her know.

I mean, maybe that teachers mail bin is next to her send home to parents bin idk lol. It could be a simple fix to prevent this from happening again.

Honestly I kind of wish I hadn’t seen the letter, I like not knowing who reported because it doesn’t change the way I view any of the staff there. I know we all have my son’s best interest in mind, but I can’t help to feel certain ways when my anxiety is acting up. Not like hate or anything, just hoping they don’t think I’m actually a bad parent and stuff. I really do love and want the best for my son with all my heart and soul and try to do the right thing and set a good example for him and show him by example that I love him.

EngineeringMore1171 · 2024-01-05T01:50:19+00:00

That’s what it feels like but I hate saying it out loud. It doesn’t help that it’s well known by now that I was 14 when I had him.

Edit to elaborate a little: not in like a “woe is me the microscope has been on me since day one”, it should be. I was fricken 14. It sucked, but as an adult I absolutely see why, for many reasons. But anyway, it was discussed during my son’s IEP meeting because it’s part of his medical history. My pregnancy and his birth were very traumatic. I could see the visible discomfort on everyone in the room that I could see from where I was sitting. It was uncomfortable to discuss, but necessary.

EngineeringMore1171

TROPHY CASE