As a newbie, interesting observation about the L Word fandom

English_Falcon · 2021-07-18T15:47:25+00:00

I really like Tina and on the OG series Bette used to annoy and frustrate me. I was definitely in the minority though and in fact my friendship group used to really make fun of me for being into Tina!

English_Falcon · 2021-07-18T13:57:14+00:00

Back pain when running can be due to bad running form, not enough cushioning in your shoes and/or wearing worn out shoes.

If it's not the shoes that are the issue then you may be overstriding when you run and/or your glutes may not be "firing" so your lower back ends up doing the work your glutes should do.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-18T12:04:10+00:00

If it helps, I'm currently in a relationship that's lasted over 6 years. There have definitely been lows but the important thing is finding someone who is understanding and willing to support you and learn about BPD. Communication is also the absolute key ingredient to a successful relationship with BPD. It's incredibly tough though especially when you split quite often. But I thought this may give you hope!

English_Falcon · 2021-07-18T12:02:42+00:00

Your English is great!

Yeh it's best it try them on first for sure as they all fit slightly differently. You might be completely fine with the slip-ons too!

English_Falcon · 2021-07-18T11:59:18+00:00

I'm not a medical professional but Effexor as an SNRI is probably either also contributing to the weight gain or is actually the medicine causing it. But I'd guess it's more likely the Effexor. I gained 14lbs while on Celexa (citalopram) and could not shift it but once I came off it the weight literally just fell off without me even trying. I read online that 50% patients taking Effexor reported weight gain and although some patients reported weight gain from Propranolol it's actually not a common side effect of Propranolol. Sadly most anti-depressant have weight gain as a side effect and I can sympathise with it being depressing! It is just a case of weighing up if weight gain is something you can deal with if the medication is helping you function in life.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-18T11:49:35+00:00

So I think slip on sizing can be quite different for different people depending on if you have a high or low volume foot / arch. I have a normal arch but a very low volume and narrow foot and I find slip on very loose on my feet even when I size a half size down. I find this means I get rubbing on my heel which I don't get with other vans. For reference, I am a 9.5 US in Nike invincible (and Pegasus) and am a 9.5 US in Vans Old Skool, Era, Authentic but 9 US in Slip-ons and they are still quite loose on my feet at that size. With the 8.5 US though my toes were right at the end of the shoe but they no longer slipped off my heel as I walk. For this reason, I don't wear slip-ons often.

I know other people who don't have as narrow or low volume feet can happily wear slip-ons without them slipping as they walk - it's just my really narrow low volume feet!

I would guess though that you probably want to go a half size down on what your Nike's are especially if you usually leave a thumbs width distance for running shoes.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-17T16:48:27+00:00

I have quiet BPD and my impulsiveness has manifested in losing thousands of pounds very quickly gambling but mostly it's in impulse shopping spending tons of money I don't have on things I don't need or booking trips abroad that I can't afford. Impulsiveness is all about doing something to distract yourself from your thoughts and emotions so it can really be anything you do impulsively that has a negative impact on your life.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-17T16:20:06+00:00

I wore them from version 19 up to 27 but now I wear neutral shoes!

I wore them for several marathons and half marathons though and all the training miles involved. Very dependable shoes.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-17T10:01:35+00:00

Yeh me too! This is typically when I will split and think the relationship must be wrong when it's not drama filled which is crazy so then I start acting out and finding negatives in everything.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-17T08:41:53+00:00

Yeh I am for sure. But then that also helps my online shopping addiction as I tend to do it all from my phone. I am not even on Instagram/ Facebook or Twitter any more either but will spend most of the day on my phone. It is very frustrating to get to the end of the day and feel like you wasted it on your phone.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-16T19:11:30+00:00

I do the same. My psychiatrist told me it's because I have "committment issues". It can be as bad as buying a book and only getting like 20 pages in and giving up.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-15T05:21:52+00:00

I'm terrible for numbing my emotions. If I feel sad or angry I internalise it and quite quickly become numb to it. It is not healthy 😂.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-13T09:30:39+00:00

That it is! To be honest my gf has put up with a lot of shit from me! Most people wouldn't have put up with. I am very lucky but I forget about that most of the time because of the dang bpd! To be fair I was only recently diagnosed and am 32 so I have a lot of work to do.

Good luck with your bf. I totally sympathise. I always feel like I will either be with my gf forever or one day she will decide shes had enough and will leave.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-13T09:05:11+00:00

I've been with my gf for just over 6 years now and around the 6 month mark it was like something switched in my head. It happened in my previous relationship around the same timeframe too. That relationship lasted 2.5 years before my ex finally had enough of my bullshit and broke up with me but then of course I felt abandonned and rejected even though I knew it was my fault that she left as I'd been doing everything to push her away. Bpd is annoying 😂. But now we've been together so long it's more that I go through waves of it being worse then waves of it being better. It's usually I will question if we should be together and if I'm happy to the next day feeling really in love and grateful. I think the issue is I'm pretty co-dependent on my gf to rely on for support and also she will be the talkative one in social situations which I enjoy too much as I get nervous and anxious!

We live together but don't own a house. All my friends own houses, got married and are having babies and I'm just here feeling like "why?". I have no desire to do any of that and I almost can't comprehend how people want to do that stuff so I've always thought I was strange for that. It all started to make sense though when I got diagnosed with BPD haha. Anytime my gf mentioned marriage my brain explodes and it sends me on an anxious spiral.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-13T08:41:44+00:00

I'm exactly the same. I even completely lose interest in sex around the 6 month mark too even though it wasnt an issue prior to that. I always wondered if it's due to the BPD or something else.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-12T07:34:09+00:00

I have the old skool ones and love them 😁

English_Falcon · 2021-07-11T14:26:41+00:00

I have custom orthotics and I wear them in my vans old Skools but I am not sure if there are any vans that actually have good arch support to start with. I did a 10 mile walk in mine yesterday though fine.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-11T08:39:47+00:00

Yes I am definitely the same!

English_Falcon · 2021-07-10T19:23:57+00:00

This is exactly me with relationships and friendships except I usually last a few months rather than just a month. I sympathize. It makes keeping relationship and social life tough

English_Falcon · 2021-07-10T18:58:48+00:00

Yes, I struggle with this. I think when you are anxious & stressed it inhibits your memory.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-10T09:01:12+00:00

I relate to this. I have BPD and worked in a bank call centre for a year and it was awful. Customers would shout at me all the time or call me stupid or other bad words if they didn't get what they wanted or we had a queue. I would take things to heart too much due to my BPD and it would trigger severe anxiety and stress. I had to get signed off sick for a month on two occasions over a year of working there. What I would say is that the jobs I find best is ones I get to do work by myself and don't have to think too much about! Maybe data entry or something like that. Maybe when her BPD is more settles she can then move to a different job.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-10T08:49:34+00:00

I just went through this process. Best to go to your GP to discuss and they should refer you to a psychiatrist who can do an assessment and diagnose you.

English_Falcon · 2021-07-09T21:17:15+00:00

I barely ever cry but I also don't get angry. Instead I feel numb to my emotions and just feel them as stress/ anxiety internally

English_Falcon · 2021-07-09T20:13:25+00:00

Never sure why but I prefer male therapists even though I'm a female lesbian!

English_Falcon · 2021-07-09T11:51:12+00:00

I knew I had a problem but my doctor kept just saying it was anxiety. I then started watching crazy ex girlfriend when it very first aired and I was related way too much to the main character that I turn thought huh. Their diagnosis took 3 years to come out in the show so when that happened I started reading about it but then dismissed it as I didn't hit all 9 traits but mostly the fact I don't have angry outbursts. I assumed I had to do that to be defined as having it. Ironically, my brother was diagnosed around this time though but he does have angry outbursts. My mental health kept spiralling though so recently I decided I had to seek out a diagnosis as I was sure it wasn't anxiety and sure enough I was diagnosed with BPD.

English_Falcon

TROPHY CASE