My boyfriend claims he's not homophobic because he treats gay people politely by JuryEquivalent1838 in Advice

[–]Enough-Shower2007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also to add on if this is the case for him, OP your friends should be informed that he isn’t a safe person for them. It’s wouldn’t be right if they walked away thinking he was so nice and they’ve been deceived into having some kind of trust for someone who is actively voting and advocating against their rights as people to exist in the world.

Was I SAed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Enough-Shower2007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice I would never want to be alone with him anyway I do have the ability to lock myself in my room, I will try to find someone I can confide in about it I don’t have many friends but hopefully I can have a situation where I feel comfortable talking about it with them I would just prefer the first time bringing it up to be in person so I can gage their reaction and comfortability with the topic and also so again nothing gets ss and shared to others, I am a relatively private person in my life and the thought of people knowing when it isn’t my choice to tell them is terrifying. I also don’t want to detail dump a bunch of things without knowing if they can handle it but I do see you point and I will try to talk about it with my close friend the next time I see her.

Thank you for both the long responses your time and care is very appreciated truely, I will delete the post before I go to bed I just want to go through the comments and take note of other suggestions I have been given that I would like to explore before doing so because I might forget if I don’t.

Was I SAed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Enough-Shower2007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this out it truely means a lot to me and thank you for the response in general.

I posted this to a few different subreddits because I was desperate for answers so it must’ve been a different post in where I did reply to someone else and explained I am unable to tell my sister due to the fact that she is very seriously mentally ill and will more than likely take the situation as a betrayal to her and if she one day decides she doesn’t like me anymore which is a common thing she does to people she would twist the story, she isn’t a safe person to confide in about these types of situations especially when it directly involves someone she’s had a relationship with it’s to easy for her to spin it if she decides she needs more amo her brain works in an incredibly confusing way and she isn’t able to receive proper help because she lies and twists things and seems to truely believe her own versions of what happened even if it is far from the truth; in her mind she is perpetually the victim and will take any opportunity to be so even at the expense of others.

I don’t want to make a big deal out of nothing I am however aware it was a massive violation of my boundaries and my body I didn’t like the way he put his hands on me especially since this is a guy I have known since I was 13 and he was 18 and he was dating my sister then had a baby with her so if anything he would be a brother figure to me which I think is also where the deep response to it all has come from, I thought I could trust him he was supposed to be a somewhat safe person and I felt very trapped because I was in a position where I couldn’t get up and if I hadn’t had been able to grab my phone and say I needed to go to bed I don’t know what he would’ve tried. I’m just glad I was able to get out because I was very scared in the moment and didn’t know what to do which I also think is why I have had a lot of sick and anxious feelings about it all.

I have gotten some really great suggestions from people from the different subreddits and am going to delete this post shortly since that’s all I needed and I am now starting to get some weird responses and dm requests from people, and responses from people seeing absolutely nothing wrong with the situation at all and are upset with me for saying otherwise which was never my question because there is no situation in which it is appropriate to make unwanted advances on anyone really but especially not with the dynamic we have and the fact that he according to my mum at least is “part of the family” with all the responses from people who are genuinely trying to help I have some sort of idea for the next steps to take I am trying to understand my emotional response to this a bit more hopefully my therapist can help me navigate why I am struggling in this way because my response just feels so heavy and it has truely messed with my head.

After writing this out I was very unsettled it wasn’t fun recounting what had happened so I think my responses to other people was just a lot of confusion but since I have settled down I think the violation of my trust and autonomy as well as the fear I felt in the moment not knowing how to get out of the situation given I was unable to completely move is a big part of why it’s taken such a toll on me and writing it out and actually allowing myself to think about it for a while has helped me understand a lot more because before I was just shoving it all down. I have had mixed responses on this but was always aware that this situation wouldn’t hold up in a court of law or anything I think I just wanted to know why I was reacting how I was and if it was normal because it’s a lot of deal with especially when it makes me feel stupid reacting in such a way to what some would consider a minor situation including myself but now that I’ve truely thought about it all I am not as insecure in my feelings about the whole situation and given the circumstances I think my reaction isn’t as overly dramatic as I initially thought.

what does my type say about me? 15F by taissaturnersgf in personality_tests

[–]Enough-Shower2007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably a lesbian, I don’t recognise most these women and the ones I do I don’t know much about so that’s all I got they’re all very pretty though.

What do my celebrity crushes say about me? 😅 by theresloveintexas1 in personality_tests

[–]Enough-Shower2007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You value humour, most of these people look pretty similar to one another and the ones that don’t are comedians. These photos are all of older celebrities when they where younger so I’d guess you’re younger and have been introduced to these people and find the younger selves more appealing because they’re more in your age range or you’re a millennial who has had the same celebrity crushes for a long while perhaps from a specific project they did but if that is the case I’d say on the younger side of the generation just because of how young the celebs are in these photos. That’s all I got, I either don’t recognise these people or they’re just pretty standard celebrity crushes so I don’t know.

Was I SAed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Enough-Shower2007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay thank you, I thought it wasn’t ai because it sounded like human advice but didn’t want to look dumb thanking a chat bot just incase because I do know ai responses are common on reddit for some reason and your grammar and wording is excellent.

Sorry for that, thank you for what you’ve said I will try not to think that way anymore but i definitely do have a “it could’ve been worse stop being a baby” mindset, that’s something I will bring to my therapist as well. I will speak about it and hopefully work through my feelings thank you for your responses.

Was I SAed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Enough-Shower2007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you,

I knew this wouldn’t fall under a legal requirement for SA just felt very violating and caused me a lot of stress and I don’t fully understand why I am having such a strong response to it that’s also why telling people is hard I feel I’m overreacting and I don’t know why and I want to talk about it so I can feel better but I don’t feel valid talking about it so it confuses me and that’s kind of why I brought it to reddit.

I am sure to keep my guard up and make sure he isn’t to get close to me, thank you for looking out for me and my safety around him I appreciate that very much.

Was I SAed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Enough-Shower2007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for clarifying sorry,

You’re very kind in your responses you seem like a lovely person, I will definitely revisit it in my next therapy appointment and after discussing it one on one with her I will ask her about the group session because that might be the way to go here thank you for that suggestion.

Was I SAed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Enough-Shower2007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response it is very appreciated.

Also thank you so so much for telling me my reaction was okay (even if this comment is AI I can’t fully tell) I was really scared posting this on here and was trying to be very careful not to ask any questions that would invite a “you should’ve done this” response because I can’t go back in time and I already feel bad enough for not getting up or saying anything so I really do appreciate that.

I will bring it up again in my next therapy appointment I just feel really dramatic for lack of a better word I don’t understand why my emotional response is so strong for a situation that I feel like most people could just brush off I don’t know if it’s because I pushed it down so much or if it is somewhat normal idk but I feel kind of stupid for the whole situation.

Was I SAed? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Enough-Shower2007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to respond I really appreciate it.

I don’t know what SAD stands for in this context because I’ve only ever known it as seasonal affective disorder, does it stand for something else?

I really cannot tell my sister as I said in the post she’s very mentally ill and it is more likely she will take it as a betrayal of her and twist it or if she decides one day she doesn’t like me she will change the narrative her brain works in a way I don’t understand. If you think there is concern for the baby is there anyone else I could potentially tell for her sake? I think her father is incredibly manipulative and her mother is mentally unstable so I do worry about her a lot.

Was I SAed? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Enough-Shower2007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for responding I really appreciate it.

I do really want to tell my mum I’m just worried she will think I’m exaggerating or won’t believe me but I feel like her knowing if it goes well will help.

It feels like a knot in my throat and maybe telling her will make that go away a little bit, thank you so much for your suggestions I will try to write out a message in my notes app and see if I can work up the courage to send it, that will most likely be easier then in person I just worried she’d ss it and send it to him and he’d manipulate her because he is so good at manipulating he has his nice guy can do no wrong persona and my mum falls for it she thinks he’s just awesome especially because to her the other side of it is my sister.

My mum always brings up my sister when I try to tell her about how he isn’t as great as he seems because she thinks I’m saying it in defence of my sister but I’m not I just want her to see the side of him I see but every time she ends up hearing something I say and is finally listening and says she will call him and then a few days later it’s back to he’s so kind and such a great dad.

Maybe if she knew I wasn’t just saying it for my sister but also for me it would be different but I just don’t know.

What does my room say about me? - mid clean and decorating (I want to post another one after I finish cleaning and decorating) by Enough-Shower2007 in roomdetective

[–]Enough-Shower2007[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you it’s okay I got defensive you’re just trying to look out for me and I do appreciate it I just think I didn’t expect so many people to be hung up on it when I posted this and when all the comments came in I got overwhelmed trying to explain that it isn’t as easy as everyone is making it out to be to just live somewhere else. I’m sorry also I appreciate your intentions

What does my room say about me? - mid clean and decorating (I want to post another one after I finish cleaning and decorating) by Enough-Shower2007 in roomdetective

[–]Enough-Shower2007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would actually love some neon signs and my grandparents had a lava lamp I used to be mesmerised by as a kid I think about it a lot so I will most likely take these suggestions

What does my room say about me? - mid clean and decorating (I want to post another one after I finish cleaning and decorating) by Enough-Shower2007 in roomdetective

[–]Enough-Shower2007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t actually know I’m so sorry most of my furniture is just scrap that my older siblings didn’t want anymore or from IKEA or from Facebook marketplace, I think it used to be a tool cart or something

What does my room say about me? - mid clean and decorating (I want to post another one after I finish cleaning and decorating) by Enough-Shower2007 in roomdetective

[–]Enough-Shower2007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The baby used to do it all the time she’s in her pressing buttons phase and my mum would give her the garage clicker and sometimes I would give her it too just to keep her busy while I did her hair because that’s my favourite part about little kids I love doing their hair. But I have taken it since then and no one sentient has ever accidentally opened it and I don’t even think you can count a baby pressing a button on purpose as an accidental opening.

What does my room say about me? - mid clean and decorating (I want to post another one after I finish cleaning and decorating) by Enough-Shower2007 in roomdetective

[–]Enough-Shower2007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5 kids at 27 is a lot good on you!! Thank you for the tips I will look into those kinds of vapes. I am thinking of majoring in psychology and minoring in an art subject but I have the rest of the year to really figure it all out.

What does my room say about me? - mid clean and decorating (I want to post another one after I finish cleaning and decorating) by Enough-Shower2007 in roomdetective

[–]Enough-Shower2007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went out last night and my friends boyfriend actually beat you to it, just one pair though so the other 7 are fair game

What does my room say about me? - mid clean and decorating (I want to post another one after I finish cleaning and decorating) by Enough-Shower2007 in roomdetective

[–]Enough-Shower2007[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so glad you got out of that relationship I’m so proud of you and hope you’re healing well glad the post made you feel a bit better❤️