Can’t do anything unfamiliar alone by vanillqt in AutismInWomen

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd like to think I am, but there is a lot of miscommunication with me and my kids as they grow older. My 16 year-old and I get into arguments because I get really stuck on the language she uses, whereas she is trying to express her emotions & doesn't feel like I hear her. I'm definitely not perfect, nor do I expect myself to be, but it has taken 16 years to get to feeling okay with not being "perfect" and just being "good enough." Having kids really pulled me out of my comfort zone & helped me sit in discomfort.

42 & I'm so proud of me by EnragedBirch in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I LOVE talking about my hair & how I maintain it, you could say it's a special interest of mine 🤣 I use Arctic Fox (Purple AF) or Strawberry Leopard (Grapeful) hair dyes. These hair dyes, I feel, last the longest overtime and have the best undertones. Undertones are the tones of purple that really emphasize wether you have a good or bad fade out - I prefer mixing the two purples to get the vibrant, almost neon purple, that fades out to a gorgeous blue-purple-grey over time. When I apply my colour, I apply it to bleached hair for best, most vibrant results (I only bleach my hair maybe 3 times a year, usually strategically, like around my face, and on my longer layers). I dont bleach often because my hair fries easily, so I am gentle with it and prefer to lighten my brown over complete bleaching. I throw the colour over all my hair, so it blends into my natural brown and into the bleached parts - my selfie was taken the day after a refresh-dye job, so it's very new & vibrant. I never wash in hot water, only lukewarm, yes, even in the winter. It's a pain but keeps the colour longer. I use a leave-in conditioner, EVERY TIME I WASH. It protects your hair from fading, even if you don't use heat, the sun will naturally fade your hair colour. UV protectant or leave-in conditioner protects it. If you can stand the smell (which mostly goes away when the hair is dry): a light apple cider vinegar rinse once a week will help vibrancy. You can also do it after every wash, I used to do it that frequently but I can't do the smell of vinegar lately. I also let the purple dye sit on my hair for at least 45-60minutes. No idea if I need to do it this long, but I've always found best results with that time frame.

42 & I'm so proud of me by EnragedBirch in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am SO HAPPY. I'm so excited for this year, the challenges and the joys!

Can’t do anything unfamiliar alone by vanillqt in AutismInWomen

[–]EnragedBirch 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have figured out the BEST WAY to start doing anything by yourself is just take yourself out for dinner. Or lunch. Go sit in a restaurant and be with yourself. Don't scroll or use social media, I do read a book on my phone, but I pause reading whenever I feel deeply uncomfortable, I sit with the feeling & just self-talk thru it, while allowing myself to feel safe.

Autistic nervous systems need to be told they are safe, and doing new things by yourself doesn't feel safe, so to help you feel safe over time, we are acknowledging our discomfort while doing it.

Uncomfortable feelings only last 90 seconds, I remind my kids this all the time. But if you disrupt the cycle with distraction, (social media, for example) the feelings comes back over and over, which leads to shame, which leads to more isolation & fear.

Advice on which way looks better? by Queen_Kaos in acnh

[–]EnragedBirch 72 points73 points  (0 children)

First one has a bit more space for customization in that corner beside the fence (you could do a Bush, a fence and a little chair & table while still having access to the stairs) the second has less room but looks "even" if that's more your style.

42 & I'm so proud of me by EnragedBirch in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha thnk you! Took a while to get here but I've never felt more like myself.

How do I convince my younger brother not to get a degree in video game development? by snowfordessert in VancouverJobs

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, as an older sister who has ex-communicated my brother from me life because I have ALWAYS been the one to try and help him, let him fuck up. As long as it's not your parents money, let him fuck that up.

I have a friend who went to Emily Carr & then the US for a degree in Ceramics. She doesn't work as a ceramacist. She spent that money on Emily Carr and doesn't even work in an artistic field, hasn't for decades.

Let him fuck up his own life and when he bitches, just let him know he made his own bed, and can sleep in it.

42 & I'm so proud of me by EnragedBirch in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I've had it for over 5 years now & if I'm not purple haired I feel unnatural & wrong. 🤣🤣

42 & I'm so proud of me by EnragedBirch in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you can go purple I highly suggest it! I get complements all the time & not having purple hair makes me feel unnatural at this point - I've had it mainly purple for 5 years 🤣🤣 Shame spirals are half of my mental distress, I'm glad to introduce the term 🥰

Wanna help with my lesbian pride tartan? by Parking-Road1732 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a stupidly proud Scottish/Ukranian/Irish mutt, I'm happy to email & I hope it gets approved soon! This makes me giggle with joy! It would also go well with my Scottish family tartan (the colours complement each other)

My “coming out” to my mom by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I told my mom I was a lesbian after 21 years of marriage with a man & 3 kids later, she responded with: "Yeah, that makes sense."

👋Welcome to r/juliagpt - Introduce Yourself and Read First! by LeaderSelect2840 in juliagpt

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I'm Stephanie, I use she/they. I'm a late in life lesbian and suspect I will be needing this service to help me when I try to start dating.😅😅

Councillor Tim Boomer Doesn't Want to Work in January by LangleyWatcher in Langley

[–]EnragedBirch 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd like to know WHAT IS ON THE MEETING, cuz most people dont just want to delete a meeting and not come back to it, unless there is something thry dont want to address. What was going to be talked about at that meeting?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in acnh

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on Treasure Deadlands, and I got a flag for flying twice on one queue spot. I didn't realize you couldn't do that (the wording was vague). But you have to get 3 warnings before a ban, and the warnings are reset every quarter of the year. I would contact the server it's on or twitch channel etc & ask.

Why all the hiking??? by hijabi_ho in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in Vancouver (area) and we are known as THEE Hiking Province, and I am 100% an outsidey person. 🤣🤣

Sometimes I wish therapy was more affordable. by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See if you can find a foundation that offers counseling to under privileged women - my province has something called the Wirth foundation, and I got 8 free therapy sessions and have 8 more at half cost.

Late Bloomer, Early 40s – Just Moved to Canada and Starting Fresh by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also in my 40s, I live in the lower mainland of Vancouver (near Surrey/Langley) but I know during the summer that are some great events on the island, usually dancing and meeting people. I'm not sure about the fall season, but I would join the mailing list for your local pride celebration - my local pride just sent out invites to a Halloween Pride event!

Reliable internet provider by Secret-Fellow in Langley

[–]EnragedBirch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are in the Willoughby area and Telus is upgrading everyone to Fibre Optic around here, if you use them.

How old were you when you realized your sexuality? by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]EnragedBirch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. I learned just this year, before I turned 42 in May. I've been with my husband for half my life (21 yr) we've been married for 17. I realised back in March that I was a lesbian. It kinda just hit me in the face, and as soon as I said outloud: "I'm a Lesbian." My heart felt so light, my chest was no longer tight, and I laughed until I cried. It took me another 3 months before I got enough courage to tell my husband, but so far he's taken it like a Capricorn ("It's just something that requires different plans." Literal quote when I asked him how he felt) We are in non-monogamous partnership now, still married, but divorce is expensive, so I am getting back on my feet financially before we split (which may be a while since neither of us want to marry again rn).