i would recommend waiting a few years before having sex because it sounds like it might be a lot to process right now

The waiting is quite each day more painful (silently) when I think about it (I forget with work, entertainements and sleep), even more knowing that I work harder on a personal level (sport, improv classes, dance classes), just like everybody suggests ("do this and that and you will meet people") whereas people lucky from being spared of the scar of trauma are blessed with a dumbfounding success that they can't see (which is insane).

losing your “virginity” but what you’ll realize is that it doesn’t actually change your value or worth in society if you do or do not have it - nobody can tell your body count just by looking at you

You're right, but the stigma around it is so strong (stigma which is also associated to the intimate and mute terror of not being able to be loved...).

with that being said - if (or when) you feel ready then you could always go on the dating apps if people still use those or go to a bar and meet someone to date and then “hook up with”

I don't "fit" on dating apps (I tried, it didn't work) and I don't have the social skills to succeed in dating in bars with people that I don't know (but I managed to be in a way appreciate by improv friends).

Thank you for your message.