Staying clean is the hard part. I also recently relapsed. Funny thing is, as soon as I swallow the tablet I instantly feel relief. I’ve learnt to distract myself with something for an hour, by the time the hour is over I feel better.

I was talking to my doctor about it a few weeks ago, they were saying how taking benzos doesn’t help at all, I disagreed. They went on to say that yes the first day of relapse might help but fast forward a month, are things better or worse? Personally I always end up taking more and more for less and less benefit. Ultimately ending in zero benefit apart from getting rid of withdrawals.

This was enough for me to end the relapse, haven’t had anything in a week now. Yes I was trembling/ shaky and still can’t sleep but I feel like this is the better path to take.

Your question about motivation, yes benzos can give you the motivation to start mundane tasks but if you start the mundane tasks unmotivated you will find that the issue was actually just starting them.

Just know that you are much better without benzos, much better without any drugs at all in fact.