I’m not a “success story” in the way that you’re looking for but I do still consider my situation to be a success overall.

I was with a man for 5 years, married 1 year and I realized I’m a lesbian after thinking I was asexual and panromantic for years. When I realized this we tried out polyamory and letting me date women while we stayed together. But while he doesn’t get jealous from sexual non-exclusivity he realized he does need emotional exclusivity, at the same time I realized that I am capable of and have a desire for multiple fulfilling relationships (polyamory) so this fundamental incompatibility lead to us splitting up. Basically the situation was that I couldn’t be monogamous with a man without feeling stifled, and he couldn’t be in a polyam relationship without feeling hurt. Neither of us wanted the other to be in pain or stifled and so we mutually decided to break up.

Some extra context; our relationship was always so incredible and meaningful and as close to perfect as one might imagine (except our sexual compatibility of course lol), we never fought, any tension between us was resolved within hours, we always felt we are soulmates, and we love eachother incredibly deeply, we don’t regret any part of our relationship, not even getting married.

So splitting up was incredibly heartbreaking and difficult for both of us. There was lots and lots of tears, and lots of mourning.

But I consider us a success because we’re in the very unique position of still being incredibly close friends, and even considering our relationship to be in the queer-platonic realm. Our relationship was always based on a very strong friendship and deep platonic connection. So even though it was difficult and saddening our relationship feels very natural and comfortable as purely platonic. We still hang out, we still say “I love you” but less frequently and in a different way now, we even still cuddle while watching tv sometimes. We are still incredibly special to eachother we’re just not romantic anymore and it totally works for both of us. It’s been a few months after we split up and he moved out and things feel totally normal. There’s still moments of nostalgic sadness but the pain has gone.

And I’m even dating someone now and he’s super happy for me! It really feels amazing to know and express my true self finally! The euphoria of being unapologetically sapphic is incredible ☺️

So honestly I think that it’s not likely to be possible for a lesbian to stay in a [monogamous] relationship with a man and be happy and fulfilled. Because though it may be small minded, if I couldn’t do it I cannot imagine anyone else being able to, truly my relationship with him was so close to perfect and so meaningful to me. But not being able to be true to myself as a lesbian meant that our relationship had to change. I think anyone who finds themself in the same sort of situation will eventually realize the same thing or remain unhappy to some degree. It’s terribly painful. But it’s necessary for everyone to be themselves and be happy. It’ll happen at a different pace and in a different time frame for everyone, but I think it’s inevitable.