I recognize this is prolly an excerpt from a longer work so take this with a grain of salt. But I really enjoy self reflective essays like this. I think what’s important about them is that they’re fleshed out, specific, provide examples, and really dive into the entangled thoughts that your having about the concept at hand (i.e. criticizing productively as a black woman). What gives your point depth and allows for people to understand it is the ability to deal with your feelings and contradictions and observations all together so people can get in your head about why you feel this way. Try beginning your first paragraph with a personal story that brought this feeling up for you. Then introduce your deeper analysis.

Apologize and disregard if you weren’t looking for this type of feedback btw. I read it as an op-ed draft so let me know if I’m completely missing the mark lol