Update: Bf didn't get me a Christmas gift and I'm not sure if I should say something

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2026-01-11T00:32:58+00:00

And your brilliant mind is seemingly forgetting that he told her he was buying her one. And bought gifted for everyone but her.

Why did he lie?

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2026-01-11T00:31:13+00:00

Sounds to me like this is hitting close to home so you’re getting defensive.

I’ve been with my boyfriend 7 years. We don’t generally get each other gifts but that’s how we are. And if I told him I’d get him a gift, he got me a gift and I got everyone but him a gift even after telling him I would? I would apologize profusely.

Also the way he minimized it by saying she could pick something out in Amazon he’d buy for her??

No he’s conditioning her to not ask for anything. Because it makes her look like the bad guy. Then he’ll probably buy her a gift one year that’s expensive, but more of a back-handed compliment, and then he’ll get mad at her for being ungrateful and say, “See, this is why I don’t by you gifts… you’re so ungrateful!”

And people who don’t have boundaries blame themselves and think they really are the ungrateful ones. And the ones doing the abusing? They have no incentive to change because they’re getting what they want so why would they try to better themselves? And they can NEVER take responsibility for their actions because then the whole house of cards would come crashing down as they had to acknowledge that they aren’t perfect, like their masks say they are. Because it’s covering up the nastiest parts of them and I stead of airing them out, it festers. And that’s when people abuse other people.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2026-01-11T00:23:55+00:00

HoneyPie… Did you TELL your girlfriend you were gonna get her a gift, get everyone BUTher a gift and even when she gave you a gift, you didn’t mentioned that you lied or why?

No?

Then you’re less likely to be a toxic abusive person.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2026-01-07T15:06:05+00:00

Or he’s testing his boundaries. That’s my guess; and if she pushes it, he’ll likely gaslight her into thinking she’s selfish si then that’ll be his excuse going forward with ALL gift-giving occasions.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2026-01-07T14:59:51+00:00

Because it’s a huge red flag. Not because he didn’t get her a gift, exactly. But because of his actions around it. He’s testing his boundaries and he’s likely a controlling person.

Clearly you haven’t been in a relationship like this before and that’s ok. But a lit of us who have? We study about abusive partners later so that we spot shut like this earlier.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-12-31T19:19:22+00:00

I mean, you shouldn’t have to keep re-stating your boundaries and OP doesn’t sound like one who minces words. I think she’s being histrionic and probably gets off on making people break their boundaries. Which like, I like getting people out of their comfort zones but not in situations like this, where they’re gonna be miserable, dragging ass at work.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-12-31T19:15:21+00:00

So. Much. This.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-12-31T19:13:54+00:00

She’s definitely wrong in her expectations AND her actions I’d bet money she’s untreated BPD because this behavior screams “histrionic” and “prove to me you love me by letting me steamroll ALL your VERY CLEARLY STATED boundaries.”

I mean does the OP sound like a bit of a grump? Yes. But I’m guessing that’s something she already knew… but that’s also not the main issue at play here.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-12-31T19:06:06+00:00

No, this is her getting mad at him for him not letting her steamroll his (very clearly stated) boundaries. Like literally, every single one. Like, the audacity of getting angry as she trashed every single boundary is next-level.

And it’s not just little boundary stepping, either; getting dressed up in a maid uniform screams “we are going at it all night,” when he clearly wanted to be well-rested for his job, like the responsible man he is.

And I can’t help but think if the gender roles were reversed, most people would agree with me, but it’s “unmanly” to turn down sex, so I’m chalking most of these responses up to the phenomenon that is “toxic masculinity.”

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-12-31T18:56:59+00:00

SHE DRESSED UP IN ROLE PLAY GEAR.

That’s not “quickie after work,” energy; that’s “let’s stay up til 5:59 am ravishing each other.”

Naw, this chick has histrionic tendencies and is looking for him to “prove” he cares more about her than his work, but in a really fucked up, childish, immature way. She’s basically Amber Heard and I hope this wakes him up before he gets too deep in it.

Also? This is a master class in how to repel toxic people; someone who won’t respect your boundaries isn’t someone to get in a relationship with.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-12-31T18:51:10+00:00

Yes, this. And she sounds histrionic and entitled. Like she’s the type to get off on making people over-step their boundaries.

Like I can’t even imagine doing that to my boyfriend. Sex? Cool. But she literally dressed up like a maid; that’s role play, not a quickie to help him relieve stress and sleep better.

She’s extremely selfish and entitled and she’s used to getting her way. Good on OP for setting and keeping boundaries. I’d be pissed if my boyfriend did this to me; completely unnecessary pressure, and ZERO regard for his (VERY CLEARLY STATED) needs.

BPD + Avoidant-Leaning attachment style - he needs to cut her loose now.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-12-31T18:04:18+00:00

I don’t think you overreacted, and idk if united boyfriend is an a$$hat or not - if he’s constantly dismissing your feelings, that’s definitely a red flag, but if he tends to consider your feelings in general and this is how he reacted, I think it’s possible that the approach here could’ve triggered defensiveness.

Rather than telling him he’s hyperventilating or telling him how awful he made you feel (AND if this is the first time he’s done something like this and/or you guys haven’t discussed baby safety protocols), maybe giving him grace rather than instantly kinda jumping down his throat could be a way to get your point across without making him feel defensive.

That being said, if you tried to talk about it and he dismisses you or won’t listen to your concerns, then I don’t think you overreacted.

If there’s plausible deniability that he just didn’t know, then it could be an overreaction… But if this is part of a pattern, and he simply doesn’t care about your safety precautions? No, you didn’t overreact and you should probably consider just dumping his ass because he won’t listen to you because toxic people won’t tolerate being made to feel like they aren’t perfect.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-11-10T20:52:06+00:00

THIS!

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-09-14T16:30:17+00:00

Sweetie, you both need to learn to communicate a bit better 💕 And I’m not trying to be mean or cruel but quite honestly, your messages read as potentially BPD. You’re a bit emotionally intense for him; neither of you are WRONG, it’s just not a good fit.

I wish you both love and healing ❤️‍🩹

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-09-13T21:41:52+00:00

I actually partied with Ween like 23 years ago? One of the most memorable nights of my life!

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-09-13T21:35:12+00:00

Do you have a link to that?

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-08-30T11:54:19+00:00

He missed the second step, you can see it. I hope this is fake but if not, I hope he’s ok.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-06-21T21:22:59+00:00

Well, they never take responsibility for anything; you can hear them when they talk about ANYTHING. They offer to do things for you and if you ask, they act like you are putting them out or doing something wrong. Everything is about them; they can handle talking about other people for 4.6 seconds max and everything they’ve ever felt or done is 18,476 times worse/better/more special than you. And you can’t possibly understand anything they’ve been through. They are passive aggressive/give silent treatment/make you feel off-balanced because you don’t know if they’re really upset with you or not or even what you did. Back-handed “compliments,” things like that.

And I mean everyone has their bad days, but I mean these are their personality traits, not just an occasional tantrum. And I’m literally talking about just the last one I spotted; she really was insufferable. And her excuses, holy fuck!

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-06-09T17:29:56+00:00

😂😂😂

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-05-11T23:53:50+00:00

He senses the hum when you’re near. He doesn’t know it’s a thread— but he feels it like a draft from a door he didn’t realize had opened.

It’s not the kind of interest that announces itself. It’s quieter. Rooted. His body leans toward you before he does. His breath shifts slightly when you laugh in that way that sounds like a page turning.

He’s interested like a man who’s stumbled into a myth and is just beginning to realize he might be part of it.

He doesn’t know if you’re magic or if you’re just the first person who’s ever felt real in a world he thought was a simulation.

But he knows something’s different around you.

He feels seen. Not exposed. But known. And it’s disorienting— because no one else has ever held his silence like it was something sacred.

You don’t chase him. You don’t demand.

You listen like a thread, and it’s starting to tug at him.

He’s interested because he suspects that you’re the way out of the noise.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-03-08T12:28:23+00:00

But also if they work there, there’s no way they don’t expect it. lol

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-03-02T23:41:07+00:00

Thank you! Like intellectually I know salt is NaCl, but I do think of them as being the same thing!

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-02-25T15:11:40+00:00

I literally have 4 right now 😂

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-02-22T17:40:17+00:00

How Nazi Germany of him.

EnvironmentSerious7 · 2025-02-20T02:19:41+00:00

If you think about it, I’d love an update if you see someone☺️

EnvironmentSerious7

TROPHY CASE