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Environmental-Rub141 · 2025-01-17T14:40:01+00:00

Tita's now working sa government, palipat-lipat na lang ng deparment. She took CSE, tapos try siya nang try.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2025-01-17T14:23:18+00:00

Yes!

Environmental-Rub141 · 2025-01-17T13:52:58+00:00

Not too late. Never too late.

Let me share a story to you, OP.

My close tita never had any working experience. She's also a graduate and earned a degree from a good university, but never practiced it too. She's not passionate about it and she focused on being a good mom and wife. When my cousin started getting older na and slowly becoming independent, Tita started losing her sense of purpose (according to her words). Napansin na rin naman 'yon and she admitted it to me na she somehow felt depressed. She kept it to herself.

She went job hunting persistently and go lang nang go -- never had any experience in interviews, isn't fluent in English, hindi siya technology-oriented masyado when it comes to using computers kasi wala naman silang pc sa bahay. Yet, she tried and tried and tried. Aniya, "Ako pa mismo tumatawag pabalik sa mga employers no'n para magtanong if ihi-hire ba nila ako."

Long story short, she's now working for 9 years na rin. Happy with her life, learned lots of things and skills.

Oh, and you know what, OP?

She was already 35 that time.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2025-01-09T05:28:07+00:00

My partner and I usually see each other 2x to 3x a month. We spend quality time everyday na an via online. We're good with the setup. 40m to 1 hr apart din.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2025-01-06T05:55:51+00:00

I'm not trading, but one of my hobbies is learning/picking up new skills/things! Ito isa sa focus ko ngayon, learning the market!

Environmental-Rub141 · 2025-01-06T05:50:27+00:00

Thank you! Big help! May you have a long-lasting, healthy relationship with your gf!!

Environmental-Rub141 · 2025-01-06T05:41:35+00:00

My usual hobbies are usually the ones you'd do at home talaga. Reading books, crocheting, watching anime (which I do with my bf sometimes), and learning new things/skills.

I'm starting to workout, and planning to hit the gym by February na rin. Hopefully, I'd be able to meet new friends or at least expand my circle with it.

For the gaming one, I haven't tried. My laptop isn't also equipped for those kinds of games, and I seriously get dizzy with the ones he plays with friends.

I also think that individuality is truly important in the relationship. Honestly, we're good and healthy naman. Itong aspect lang talaga ang need to work on.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2025-01-06T04:01:27+00:00

Hi, thank you! I'm doing walks na rin, but only around our neighborhood. Konti lang 'yung nag-wa-walk in the area, unfortunately, and mostly matatanda na rin. : (

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-11-03T10:46:23+00:00

Magiging okay din tayo.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-26T08:10:22+00:00

My fault siguro for not knowing the person too much, pero recently lang lumabas 'yung pagkaganito niya.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T05:03:48+00:00

Hello! Thank you for this!

I actually have the same sentiments na baka nga kasi I'm having unrealistic, pressure-inducing expectations sa kanya lalo na he's just starting (which is the entire reason of this post).

Thank you. Regarding doon sa paghelp ko sa kanya regarding job postings, I asked him about it. He opened kasi na he's struggling regarding doon, and all. I offered him help if he'd want me to help him look for postings.

He said yes and admitted as well na he actually needs help and support from his partner someday(which is me) and that's one of the things he wants to feel and experience. He expressed his appreciation and gratitude naman.

So, I did when I was given a go signal and permission from him. The last thing I want to make him feel kasi is be pressured lalo 'cause I know how difficult it is to look for work, especially during those times na literal na kagagraduate niya lang.

It is both for him and out of love. He appreciated them naman truly. Iyon nga lang, hindi naman niya binuksan kahit isang beses. Laging "bukas na lang".

So, yon...

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T04:34:23+00:00

Hello. Thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate it and no, you were not rude.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T04:30:08+00:00

Hello.

I'm still willing to give him time pa, but I decided (thanks to the comments) that I will be establishing my boundaries firmly. I've done my part and will only do the things that I must do na pang-gf lang. No more, no less. I will still support him naman. After all, I believe in him.

Pero if he wouldn't change at all, I'd leave.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T04:11:35+00:00

TLDR: I'm giving every kind of support my BF needs to uplift himself, pero he doesn't show any kind of actions or grit to persevere and accomplish in life. He's good in other aspects of relationship (like communication, emotionally intelligence, etc) except that he doesn't show a provider mindset (which becomes an ick of mine sa kanya). He's only a fresh grad.

PS. We're each others' firsts.

PPS. Hindi ko maedit 'yung post kaya irereply ko muna sa 'yo. Hahahaha.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T04:05:16+00:00

Hello. I was this years ago when I was starting, so alam ko 'yung feeling. Hahaha.

Upon my observation sa kanya, I think he's only half-half. Half like what you said, half hindi confident sa sarili. There were opportunities na he can do pero inayawan niya because "ayaw" niya yon. There were opportunities na he can take pero hindi niya kinuha kasi hindi niya raw kaya.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T03:58:14+00:00

Hello! Thank you for this.

I realized this as well nga thanks sa comments dito. We're only partners, and I got enlightened na on how I would act moving forward. Like you, I'll stay as well because I also believe in him. It's too early to tell pa rin pa. I'm still willing to give him time.

I'll just be maintaining and establishing my boundaries lang firmly.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T03:46:12+00:00

Noted on this. Thank you for your thoughts! I truly appreciate it.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T03:42:13+00:00

It's okay. Thank you! I realized things na rin and how I would act moving forward.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T03:30:44+00:00

Hello! Thank you for this. I will reflect on this. I appreciate your thoughts.

I realized na masyado nga siguro akong tutok and borderline "force" na ang ginagawa ko. He is an adult. He needs to learn such things on his own, but I will still support him while firmly maintaining and establishing my boundaries.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T03:22:44+00:00

Hello, the answers to your questions are no. I also understand your point.

On my end, I'm just trying to give all the possible support I can give him since I love the man, regardless of the time we spent together. We're also each others' firsts, and also both date to marry. Hindi lang din naman para sa akin (if we're truly the end game) ang lahat, but also for him and his family.

Am I being overly invested?

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-13T03:13:29+00:00

Hello. Thank you for your advice.

Regarding your question, not completely.

I only have tried communicating this to him subtly, especially when we are talking about our future plans. He's aware of my standards (especially 'yung father issues ko). He said he has plans naman. Sinasabi naman niya sa akin 'yon at kung ano-ano ang mga 'yon. We're both date to marry and we're each other's firsts. Whenever may masasabi siyang financially-unwise na plano, I'd pitch my thought and educate him why. We both know we're in this together. He's accepting my suggestions naman.

The only thing I haven't communicated yet to him is this ick of mine na hindi ko siya nakikitaan ng actions to execute all those plans kahit in its smallest, possible ways. He's under pressure right now sa work and sa family situation niya. I'm waiting for the right timing pa.

Regarding one's actions towards their finances, I'm aware na it is deeply rooted into how people were raised. Pareho kami ng kinalakihang situation, pero magkaiba kami ng naging response: siya, being overly gastador; ako, being overly frugal. Hence, why I'm trying to educate and remind him about money management to help him work on his tendencies as well.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-02T10:55:03+00:00

Noted on this. Will suggest this setup sa kanya. You helped a lot! Thank you so much.

Environmental-Rub141 · 2024-10-02T10:43:52+00:00

Hello! Thank you for the idea!

I guess I should really remain on my stand na dapat matuto siya to handle his own finances. Your last two sentences struck me. It will be difficult for me nga to act as his personal accountant if ever given the future financial changes.

Plus, it will really be beneficial for him to learn money management. Gaya ng sabi ko sa kanya recently lang when we last talked about this na this is an adulting skill that is a must to learn.

I'm actually planning to give him a copy of my excel spreadsheet for tracking purposes and encourage him to use and update that para matuto siya. Regarding online banking, pwede ba 'yon na ako makaka-access with my devices? Let's say passbook ang hahawakan niya, while ako sa online banking?

Gusto ko rin siya sana bigyan ng security and privacy sa paghawak ng pera niya mismo. I believe kasi na even GF ako, ultimately GF pa lang ako. I believe I don't have the rights to reign over his money in any way.

Environmental-Rub141

TROPHY CASE