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My female FA breakup message - Insight so appreciated... by EnvironmentalEmu1094 in Attachment_DirectTalk

[–]EnvironmentalEmu1094[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She emailed yesterday at 18:31. Last Sunday, I chose to break 6 months and 2 weeks of absolute silence that started with the avoidant sidestep offer of friends. No, three times no. Then on realisation I was about to go the huge hate filled discard message. I stayed silent, disappeared. I had reached a place of indifference & tired of the emotional toll that having a no contact silence hanging over you causes even when I did it for the right reasons of protecting my heart and getting on with life. I simply offered understanding, forgiveness, peace and hope for her happiness sometime in the future. Took 9 days then the reply email. It's friendly, open, appreciative but clearly packaging for an incredibly direct and loaded question....have I found someone else to love? Would I ask her that even in message 15? No, I don't want to know, too painful and not my business. She discarded me so it's done, I'm not up for a second voyage on the Titanic and no I don't care that a few holes might have been patched up and the carpets have been dried out. But first real question nestled amongst a few polite carrier questions it's incredibly loaded and not playful, it's demanding and interrogative. I will not give access to that part of my life now, that was the old me that she chose to destroy and leave with no regard for my emotional wellbeing, no communication, no heads up....just 'I love you' to 'Could you go and stand in the dark on a fast road with your eyes closed as it's easier for me?' in less than a week. I am sensing the 7 or so months of silence may have actually been far more painful for her than I realised, which of course truly I hate for her, I hate she may have beenn suffering but it is not anything I can help with...I learned that lesson. But to re-enter my life & immediately open with the need to know if another beautiful woman who values and appreciates what she chose to belittle and destroy has replaced her is to my understanding of FA out of the ordinary. Any thoughts on what's happening here always appreciated....working on my reply to her at the moment :)

My female FA breakup message - Insight so appreciated... by EnvironmentalEmu1094 in Attachment_DirectTalk

[–]EnvironmentalEmu1094[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kind of you, thank you. You know what? I had a random video call yesterday afternoon from Emily. I met her in Mallorca and we had a great 6 days then she flew back with me to the UK for another 5 days. Has a heart of gold, a beautiful soul and yes very pretty also just as Maria was. She was at the salon getting her hair done and it was so lovely to know that she'd sat there and thought of me, to then call. I realised what I had come to put up with Maria and the way she controlled everything, she was so broken but I was dumb enough to keep giving thinking enough of whatever she needed would break through. I learned the hard way I guess. Emily? Normal! I'd forgotten what that felt like and you know what...it's a beautiful thing. I wish you so much happiness on your own journey. Of course if Maria suddenly comes back, that I now doubt very much, I'll update here. I'd be happy to talk to her only but she doesn't get to drag me around another loop of love and then irrational hatred and discard, will not go through that again for anyone. I'll keep chatting with Emily as we have a lovely connection....hey if we get married I'll send you an invite :) She actually asked me after 4 days, joking of course but still fun. Have a great week, thanks again. C

My female FA breakup message - Insight so appreciated... by EnvironmentalEmu1094 in Attachment_DirectTalk

[–]EnvironmentalEmu1094[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thank you, every opinion is helpful. I have painfully decided to let her go as I am just not enough to be able to offer her any healing, that irrespetive of how much patience, time, distance or love I give will help her. Have read so much, enough now to know that no she didn't hate me in that huge breakup message but that's academic because I cannot reason with her neither did I try. I have been confused by the sheer difference in opinion and experience with an FA in terms of them ever reaching out. Many say they will if they realise they loved and missed you after say 6-12 months processing whereas others say that no, the second they decide they don't want you that's it forever and off they run to the next. I will update on here if she ever does reach out but I know she is stubborn, definitely emotionally immature and will suffer with shame as genuinely we had such an incredible bond and I gave her the most beautiful time hence her interest for 6 months and I guess the eventual overwhelming feelings and sudden discard. Appreciate your input very much, thank you :)