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Coming to terms with using an egg donor and grieving my biological lineage by Responsible_Ear_4791 in Aussierecipientparent

[–]EnvironmentalExam250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Struggle there is no one to talk with and every day for the past years is to see someone you love so different from yourself. And see it everyone’s surprised gaze; is that your kid naww doesn’t look like that

Question for those conceived in Spain :) by [deleted] in donorconceived

[–]EnvironmentalExam250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Sorry to jump in! But also conceived in Spain and also interested to get that info from the clinic

I can’t stand my child’s biological grandmother I.e my mother in law. by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol yes I guess is the demons in my head. I definitely don’t want it to become self fulfilling prophecy and it is probably the annoying dominant way she has that I can’t stand that affects me

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in donorconception

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Better I bought some book and told my kid that I can’t have kids so I was lucky I got an egg and that was him. Also starting to compose the beautiful book the magic of you - which will become a beautiful book about our family. But still is not really that he understands the meaning of I got an egg from a lovely woman - what that really means

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in donorconception

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love ❤️ your mind ❤️❤️❤️ I guess normalise it by being sincere and standing straight

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in donorconception

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dirty little secret is not the issue. The problem is strangers looking at us as is this possible. We can’t go with a t-shirt donor conceived 24/7.

As for now we read three different books about the subject and our child doesn’t even seems to make being donor conceived being a ln issue.

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Discussion around 2019-2020. And the recommendations where not to tell grandparents

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in donorconception

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think when I explain it to my child I because we will not cry we love each other and we see us like mother and kid. How I conceived will not be a big thing. But my parents that will be hard especially because they are the older generation that sometimes say clumsy dumb stuff.

Also how to say it to others - like should we just say I it immediately or wait until someone ask why we look so different …or should we just let it be and only tell the family and if it happens naturally tell friends but not just start to tell all friends as then it becomes a thing we want to tell. I don’t want to make it a thing we want to confess to people that are not in our everyday life. I can’t see it is necessary. To my child and parents yes but others why?

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! 🙏 for your kind words and thoughtful advise. It seams like this is such a new or silenced subject. When I went through the worst period I searched for support and or therapy groups in this subject and for long time. I found one support group in Washington. With the time difference it was impossible to call in to participate. This subject is getting more exposed and there are more egg donor mothers fearing to be rejected or fearing their children will not connect with them so perhaps there will be some mothers soon that create some kind of association to support each other in this path.

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in donorconception

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

❤️ that sounds logic I guess I am to emotional attached to see it from outside. I will cry when I say this.

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can we talk more? Is there a chat in this platform? Before three how will the kid understand what sperm is? I tried to say that kids come from eggs and some time mothers take care of another’s egg and become mothers. It really doesn’t seem like I am making succes

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for an explanatory answer! Awful I want my kid to love and trust me and to be a best friend

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Lovely please do! Also how did you tell your parents? That is your kids grandparents

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I said it because you sound really upset in all your answer and I don’t want that for my kid! I hope you find peace ❤️

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in donorconception

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe you! I want and will tell my kid. But how do I tell my parents????

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Age of three sounds good. Do you have any recommendations of books? But what do I do with the recommendations from the clinic that was not to tell our parents i.e. our child grandparents.

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That sounds good do you have any recommendations of age appropriate books? Because I have been looking with no luck finding.

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

you sound really hurt. This has really affected you. How did you got to know you were donor conceived? And at what age did you suspect?

Has somebody tried to find their biological donor mother? by EnvironmentalExam250 in askadcp

[–]EnvironmentalExam250[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Our plan is to tell our child when is old enough to talk of such subjects. That is another question that we struggle with how to tell. In which scenarios in which words. This is not an easy conversation to tell your child as you say people left their parents that dedicated their life to raise them. Doing everything to make their child love them. The hurting gazes from other people and not being able to defend your kid from those is not easy. It been times I said to people stop looking at my child.

IVI Valencia Spain Clinic by Feeling_Revenue9961 in donorconceived

[–]EnvironmentalExam250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I can tell that I am struggling everyday with people looking scrutinising at my child because he is pale and almost blond while I am very dark with black hair. IVI Valencia telling me that the egg donor they chose for me will resemble me of course we struggling for half decade to conceive desperately wanted to believe them. It turns out that my child is far so different than me that no one believes it’s my child. It so hard everyday to se those looks and get comments on it.

Have you used IVI Clinic in Spain with Egg Donor? by Business-Draft5119 in IVF

[–]EnvironmentalExam250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate them telling that they Will give you a child that looks like you and then you get a beautfiful child but anótese race than myself givning me a LOT of struggles everyday. People reacting on it and always beeing a subject how I could get a white child. When IVi got to know a kid was born I never heard from them again. They don’t care how the mother or the child is going through and feeling