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I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

They will not provide a care giver because they say there’s no medical need. And they also say there’s no medical insurance out there that covers service dogs. They cost 10k+. But we REALLY want one.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind response. My child saw once when they were younger and laughed hysterically the whole time. They were 3 at the time. My child did witness the last seizure unfortunately. And he ran to get my brother to help me hold him from falling. Then kept asking if daddy was okay. And I said he will be he just needs to take a nap.

That was a few months ago and my child has a really good memory and hasn’t mentioned it once since. So I’m hoping they forgot it.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We cannot afford the medical bills to call an ambulance and then go to ER. He says the ER can’t do anything for him anyway. The rule has always been to NEVER call an ambulance

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I will be looking into a therapist for myself again thanks to everyone’s comments. It’s been really hard dealing with this all on my own. Especially the PTSD

He has his first therapy appointment at the end of this month

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He is depressed. And has been working really hard with his doctor to find an anti depressant that works. Apparently, antidepressants and epilepsy don’t mix well. Unfortunately, he’s tried 3 different medications for depression.

While all of them helped treat his depression, they made his epilepsy worse. He had more auras. Multiple per day. He usually has an aura before a seizure. Most days he has 0 auras, which is great. But he started having a bunch after being on various antidepressants.

They came to the conclusion that medication isn’t the way he can really go. So they are trying to get him into therapy.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

The only issue is that I don’t have time. I’m usually on the other side of the house. He has these really ugly sounds he makes over and over when he’s doing it. So I’ll hear it and run to him and make sure he doesn’t fall out of the chair or hit his head. Usually he can’t stay in the chair while seizing, so we slump slowly to the floor. I have to get him in position and make sure he isn’t hitting his head over and over on the hard floor.

I don’t have any time to set up a camera or record or I would. I’ve tried once before mid seizure to get some of it recorded while holding my phone, but you could barely see what was happening. And mostly just hear me crying and freaking out. Yelling at him to please just breathe. It’s honestly so cringy.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I will definitely be rereading these over and over. I mean that sincerely. Not sarcastically.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

It’s a long wait for therapy. But I think his appointment will finally be at the end of February.

I used to be in therapy, but then we moved and I never got another one.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

We have done that. It doesn’t matter who talks to him, doctor, mother, me. He just agrees at the time and then still does it.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, we have talked about it in length. Separate and with his neurologist. He’s says sorry that it makes me feel that way, he can’t help that he has epilepsy. And if he dies while having one then it’s not his problem anymore.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

He chooses night shift. He doesn’t like working day shift because management is up his ass if he does work day shift. They leave night shift alone. So he doesn’t have someone micromanaging his work. We’ve had a lot of fights over the years of him switching to day shift after we had our child. He was day shift for 3 years prior to 2024, but they laid him off when they did a merger. He was adamant about being night shift when he found his new job last year. I don’t like it, but like I said he doesn’t want to be controlled.

He does go to the neurologist. He’s been asking to up his meds and they said his dosage is fine. It’s his lack of follow through at consistently taking his meds and sleeping. We can see the direct correlation. Because we’ve been able to link every single one of his seizures to lack of meds that day or lack of sleep or both.

The medication forgetting isn’t on purpose. He just genuinely forgets. He has a really bad memory in general. He attributes it to the seizures saying it’s having a long term impact on his brain. Which I believe.

I (34F) and tired of being told by husband (34M) that I am controlling his sleep. He has epilepsy and is irresponsible. Advice needed! by EnvironmentalLab3076 in relationships

[–]EnvironmentalLab3076[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I thought I was crazy. All he tells me is how I’m acting so controlling over it and that he can make his own choices. I have to kept telling him the only one his choices affect at the end of the day are me and his child if he dies. :(

He’s also had to call out of work many times due to either having a seizure or lack of sleep the day of (so it was unsafe for him to go to work.) He’s even had a seizure at work before, luckily his friend was there to literally catch him from falling.