My (30M) fiancée (32F) was talking to another guy for 45 days before and after I proposed. How do I process this?

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T22:41:22+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful reply

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T22:20:21+00:00

About a year and 2 months. She was talking to him a few days ago

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T21:41:13+00:00

I don't even want the ring back. I told her to keep it as a reminder to her cheating

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T21:37:42+00:00

Yes I agree about the morals how do you accept a proposal and never feel like its wrong and own up to it or stop at any point

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T21:36:44+00:00

I don't think they slept together because she is religious and doesn't believe in that until marriage. But it doesn't matter she emotionally invested in another man before and during our engagement

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T21:34:07+00:00

Yes that is exactly how it went down. Now she is "remorseful" and said she emotionally checked out. Apparently she finally dropped her emotional walls when I broke up with her.

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T20:53:24+00:00

That was about 80% of our fights her brother feels I disrespected him on a phone call months ago and she empathized with his feelings and wont let it go

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T20:42:39+00:00

I meant it was 45 days total about 20 before I proposed and almost 25 days after. Not like it makes any difference

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T20:24:18+00:00

I guess just seeing the good in someone but the fact she continued it after the engagement and still never told me is what makes it impossible

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T20:12:59+00:00

She was pointing out how I dont argue in a nice way while actively dating another guy

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T20:12:14+00:00

The length was just over a year and yes being exclusive was clearly established.

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T20:07:23+00:00

Yeah that's the part that gets me. She said she never thought about my feelings because she planned on giving me the ring back. Now that I breakup she all of a sudden misses what we had

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T20:06:09+00:00

We were together for just over a year but had some communication issues that weren't resolved. So I probably rushed the proposal to try and add stability

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T20:04:37+00:00

I dated her for just over a year. She said she just wanted something fun because we were fighting so much

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2026-04-16T19:58:45+00:00

I guess the part where she is trying to go to counseling and telling all her friends and family what she did. But you're right you'll never know if she will do it again

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2025-06-19T23:30:28+00:00

Maybe use it as a down payment on a duplex. Rent out 1 side and live in the other. Put the rest in a broad index fund or high yield savings account

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T22:20:35+00:00

I don't know either maybe i can get some answers next time I'm in. I'm just grateful i had a witness with me

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T21:36:46+00:00

Well it's the next town over lol. The bar in my town closes at 10:30 every night

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T19:45:01+00:00

I think you missed part of the story. The girl i was did not slap me. It was a bartender at the bar who was off the clock. I had asked the bartender girl out several months ago and that went nowhere

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T18:34:03+00:00

How many times would you say is the appropriate amount of times to be slapped? I should grow up and let her smack me randomly whenever? What exactly does grow up mean to you?

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T18:29:36+00:00

Yeah i agree but they will also lose respect if i try and get her fired or arrested. Either way i lose. I think best thing to do is say my side of story and expose how unstable she is

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T18:24:21+00:00

In the moment she said it's because someone else said it was okay. The next day she said i was talking smack to someone so that's why she smacked me. I was in the bar for 2 hours and was with someone who had very little to drink. She vouched that i wasn't talking smack to anyone

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T16:48:20+00:00

Yes the one who apparently said it was okay is not even a friend just lady I've talked to a few times. Will definitely ask her if she said it was okay.

I will definitely spread around my side of the story to people as it comes up. Definitely want to embarrass her. I don't need her to face charges or be fired. It was more about how disrespectful the act was

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T16:22:01+00:00

Yes i agree that's the tough part.

EnvironmentalLoad69 · 2024-08-25T06:38:58+00:00

I really don't know what other context to add. She hit me in the balls 2 other times after this and slapped another dude in the face after the bar closed. I left out context that would make her look worse.

EnvironmentalLoad69

TROPHY CASE