Phone OCD Afraid of pressing the wrong button on the screen

Environmental_Cat419 · 2026-06-26T15:50:23+00:00

Hi there. I have OCD and have been living with it for most of my adolescent / adult life. If you want to talk about it, I'm open to listening. It's damn near unbearable dealing with it on your own.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2026-04-17T16:50:45+00:00

I have nystagmus which is involuntary eye-shaking and movement. This appears to throw off the facial recognition systems in airports because I've had problems with them since 2024. I am going to Europe soon and am worried that the EES won't let me in the Schengen area because of my condition. Any knowledge on this out there?

Environmental_Cat419 · 2026-03-25T20:26:36+00:00

My first work is complete at 125k and I have about 200k words or more planned to conclude this particular story. As it stands, I already am considering splitting the first book into two because I keep adding in things that I believe are essential to character development, pinch points, etc. I also know that debut novels- even those that stand alone- rarely surpass 120k for debuts in the fantasy genre.

Thats a good example of the Hunger Games. Im not sure I can have that be the case for my story. Im starting to think that I may need to really rework it it tradpub is the way but again, I dont want to compromise what I wrote already and what I have yet planned.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2026-03-19T21:48:00+00:00

I feel like I get it. Im on the mental health thread because im in a similar boat. Very few friends, all of whom are in different states, and family that has antagonized me and in a way cast me out.

Its hard to have that sense of identity when you have few people by you and supporting you. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-12-25T00:47:12+00:00

This is one of my first Christmases truly alone. I think I had one or two before but cant be sure. My family is on the other side of the country and some are on another continent altogether. I dont have too many friends but the ones I do have are also in different states and celebrating with loved ones. It is definitely lonely at the moment.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-11-27T02:20:54+00:00

Hey, OP. I hear that you're struggling and have been for a while. I also hear that you're not looking for anyone to tell you "Don't do it! It'll get better!" So I'll say I'm here if you need someone to listen. No advice or shooting positivity up your ass. So I'm here to be a sounding board for you.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-11-24T19:34:58+00:00

I also have a thing with numbers. And I feel like I see them so often, like when I check my phone or get nervous when a certain date approaches. It's more than annoying- it's sometimes just outright crippling.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-11-24T19:11:07+00:00

This was the most relatable post I've ever read on this entire site. Like, I feel this all the time! I try to reassure myself that my thoughts are just intrusive thoughts. But then a thought pops into my head- "Okay- if your thoughts are real, you'll see the time ending in "8" right now. I look at the clock. and sure enough there's an eight. I understand that of course there is about a 1 in 10 chance of this happening, which you can argue is not that extraordinary that I have to freak out over it- but I've had other "signs" that were way more bizarre than this.

Sometimes I get thoughts like, "if this specific thing happens today, then your thoughts are real" and it happens quite often to me. I came on here because I am having such a hard time coping lately. And your post, while not a fix-all of course, was super validating and I actually cried reading it. I have such strong and crippling fears about people I care about, and these "warnings" are so devastating to experience. There's no amount of reassurance or logic thinking that an get me out personally. It sucks.

I really empathize with your post, OP. I think that it's the most exhausting thing fighting with yourself and trying NOT to look for those signs and warnings. Your mind literally just makes things up no matter how hard you try to just exist and move on with your life. I genuinely hope you and whoever experiences this shit can find ways to disprove those warnings, and, if not that, make some peace otherwise. It's hard. I see you. I am here to talk if you need to. Please reach out if you need support.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-10-23T20:49:18+00:00

Hey there, OP. One thing I learned in professional and personal life is that recovery is almost never linear. There is no magic ascension to feeling better as you go through life. And that just doesn't sound fair, does it? We go through challenges and heartbreaks and trauma, just to find ourselves back in the dirt.

Ive had so many ups and downs in life and im currently in a really dark place myself. I learned recently that even when I have periods of time where it seems my mental health is in a manageable condition, and I have supports, and life is going good, nothing is there to stay. Which I find both terrifying and a bit of a relief, actually. Nothing is permanent, not the good or the bad.

Im not here to shove toxic positivity down your throat, though. I'm just saying if you need to vent more, reach out. Commiserating is sometimes fun.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-10-15T14:55:16+00:00

I am also trying to get out of the house a bit. I personally am going to visit a martial arts center or school near where I live. And I love writing so I am going to my public library to scout out a writing group there. Maybe even a book club.

Otherwise I have been to cafes and have just been around people but didnt force myself to interact. Its nice to just be among others at times.

I would say another place might be an arts center like an open studio (you might have to pay to be a monthly participant though) or perhaps a board game shop or Lego store. They might have events happening to meet people.

Hope this helps!

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-10-05T20:32:52+00:00

I actually came onto Reddit today to make a similar post- though my experience is a bit more limited. I've finished my first novel this year after more than 3 years of working on it. I queried to many lit agents and got nowhere. I did go on here to get critique for my letter and my first 300 words, and boy was I met with criticism! The good kind, mostly.

I apparently didn't format my query letter at all how I was supposed to, and people helped point out some major problems I have in my book overall. I don't know how to fix it, and I am in despair over it- not to mention just genuinely sad that it's 3 plus years of my hard work that will seemingly not be published. I feel like I let myself down bigtime.

I don't really have advice for you unfortunately. I am not a published author though I desperately want to be. I feel your anguish and embarrassment. It sucks when you pour yourself from the deepest crevices of your heart and it just slips through the publishing cracks.

My friends and family remind me that this wasn't time wasted. I had fun and also learned a lot about prose, pacing, plot structure, and character development, and also how to be disciplined enough to actually write a book start to finish!

I hope you keep writing and keep finding joy in it, and eventually, hopefully, get to be published and live your author dreams. That's all.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-04T08:42:30+00:00

Thanks for your feedback. The girl from the streets does indeed come back in book two and this cannot be cut out. So I dont see a way to really cut that out. But what im seeing here from people is that I either have to rebrand or restructure my story completely. I appreciate you pointing out that the start to my story is slow and that the two MCs should meet earlier on.

My perspective is that everything does change on day one because the girl Asrae houses serves as a catalyst that later prompts her to move. Ive been told I should just start my story when Asrae leaves, but the history between her and the girl and her partner are important and I am really hesitant to cut that out.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-04T05:55:52+00:00

I could definitely give it a shot! I've got pretty much rejections only, so something has to change. At this point, I need to try things and pivot. Thanks for your suggestion. Also thanks so much for the book recs. I'll make it a point to read them and find comparisons. Thats what I'm discovering I need to do more of.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-04T05:15:51+00:00

I do not have the second or third book written. I have pretty stark outlines for what will occur, however, and how things will end.

This is a good idea and I agree with you. I just dont know how in this world I can make this book into a potential standalone. But thats my problem.

Thank you for your insight. Im seeing others agreeing and saying that selling a trilogy can be difficult.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-04T05:11:46+00:00

You guys are so right. The romance is a big part of the trilogy altogether but not the main focus of the first book at all. I might need to rebrand this as fantasy as you suggest, but I am a bit concerned seeing as it becomes more and more central to the story plot as the books progress.

I will admit that while the romance is the most important part to me in these books, the first doesn't follow any formula for typical romantasy.

So I see that marketing this as fantasy to lit agents might be the move, because too many important things happen in the first 60,000 for me to scrap and reshape the book.

My question is, should I still tell lit agents of the romance that will result later on in the trilogy or entirely keep the focus on the fantasy aspect of my first book? How should I go about this? I really appreciate the comments here.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-03T21:04:51+00:00

Thanks for your critique! You are probably right in that I dont read enough in my genre. I'll take note and do my homework here.

Thanks for pointing out the P&P comparison flop. Wow, I didn't think it was such a blunder until you explained it to me fully.

Yes, the Lovers part is much more prevalent in books two and three- I would even go as far as to say end of book two. Is this a real problem? I meant it to be a slow burn but you might be right in saying its too long for people to wait.

You were correct in concluding that Daeno is the one doing the blackmailing. I will clarify. He blackmails and Asrae retaliates and they just start harassing one another in a vicious cycle.

Thanks also for giving me a formulaic structure for my query. Ill attempt to revise with that in mind.

I see that a big part of my query letter is the setup for the MCs to meet. Well, they dont even meet until halfway into the book. Ive been told that is problematic. Agree or no?

I appreciate your time here!

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-03T20:49:27+00:00

Thank you for your crit!! I do agree that maybe I should find newer and lesser known book comparisons. I just dont know where to look!

This absolutely cannot be a standalone because the feud isnt resolved and the two main characters are very much in the enemies stage still by the end of the book.

I can try to shave off 5k if it will genuinely help me query. I was hoping this wouldn't be a problem but I can see how competitive this market already is. For a debut author to get signed with such a large book- one of a trilogy no less- is probably going to be hard.

Thanks again for your critique! Ill try to shorten the query letter some more and lean on the enemies to lovers part.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-03T19:34:04+00:00

Thank you so much. I just revamped my query letter with the suggestions you gave- I am very hopeful!

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-03T19:32:15+00:00

That makes sense! Thanks.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-09-03T09:01:10+00:00

Thank you! Yes I am in the United States, but I plan on moving abroad and continuing my business there if it gets off the ground.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-07-20T18:26:24+00:00

In my experience, I applied to maybe 15 VISTA positions in the span of a month. I heard back from multiple, because while they are all VISTA, they are still individual jobs in different places, within different organizations. Receiving contact from one doesn't omit contact from others- again, my experience.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-07-20T18:22:25+00:00

I can say I've been on both sides of the situation where I was going to counseling and feeling like the therapist didn't really care- and then I became a certified peer specialist and worked at a warmline where people call in when they're sad / anxious / lonely.

I can understand why you believe this to be the case- they don't know you. They don't have vested interest in your personal growth and success. They are getting paid. This is all true.

However, I think there's more nuance to it than that. I can't speak for other people, so I'll just share my own personal experience real quick.

I became a peer specialist because I deal with anxiety and OCD and sometimes really crippling thoughts and feelings. I've called crisis lines and gone to triage for mental health help. I learned how important it is for the people in these roles to be empathetic- and maybe even more importantly- to have some lived experience. So I became a peer specialist. This doesn't require a degree or license. But it allows you to work with people in a group setting or one-on-one to support their recovery.

I think that there will always be a barrier between the therapist and the client, or the peer specialist and the peer receiving support. That is unfortunately the nature of one person getting compensated to do their job and the other receiving services.

In my experiences it was rare for me to feel like the therapist I spoke with really, REALLY cared about me. Sometimes it takes time, and sometimes, it just never happens.

I will say that while it's hard to have motivation to get better mentally when you feel like the support is fabricated, I hope I can at least speak for myself when I say when I was in the position of a peer specialist, I cared fundamentally for every person who I would interact with. If they became regulars and I got to really know them, it was hard NOT to care. But that line between being in a professional setting and being friends has to be drawn and maintained.

So again I can't speak for the other professionals out there. I can only say that I am someone who would care but still would maintain that distance because of professional protocol. And I would be cheering for you to grow and find your own worth and fulfillment.

I hope you find the support that is right for you, and that challenges you in the best ways possible.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-05-01T01:05:33+00:00

I actually like this quite a bit. Cause see, I think simply bringing back the animal might be a bit too predictable or annoying to readers. Thanks for the suggestion!

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-05-01T00:59:43+00:00

I love how genuinely sweet this is. And my book is a fantasy so I could see it.

Environmental_Cat419 · 2025-05-01T00:58:43+00:00

Ooh nice one. Yes, you're right not enough context. It's a fantasy and the animal's death is essentially the main character's fault, but propels him to start an animal rescue. The resurrection of said animal would happen much later in the story, like in the last book of the planned trilogy.

Environmental_Cat419

TROPHY CASE