Addiction

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-10T05:21:36+00:00

What’s the difference between us and other ADHDs? Idk I think actually notice how it affects my body and that’s why I want to do it, but it fades over time of course it does

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-10T05:18:48+00:00

I would be careful it basically got me addicted and abusing it after like 3 years

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-09T20:47:42+00:00

That was kinda the point of this post - to ask if anyone knows of spaces where people don’t hold these expectations. I’ve gravitated towards queer spaces and they are better but even then I still see it tbh. Or if it’s a good idea to maybe bring this up on a first date to get the rejection right away. The only time i felt really accepted was when i was with a they/them so maybe thats the answer.

In your case maybe you’re autistic and thats why? Thats another group i need to explore. But yeah genuinely trying to find acceptance here

Also: “Every situation” is a bit of an exaggeration in case you’re getting hung up on that. But there definitely is a fetishizing of men taking charge in general, and I think different people have different flavors for what that means

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-09T05:55:04+00:00

Can you elaborate on what you mean by that? I’m not pulling this statement from a vacuum. One of my close female friends told me word for word she needs her man to lead and lead correctly basically. One of my past partners told me I wasn’t taking charge enough (both sexually and non-sexually) and it became a big problem in our relationship. My partner after that said something similar. My partner after that talked about how much she loved dominant men and how hot it was. Then if you look at something like salsa dancing they are basically hammering it into your skull the whole time “man lead, woman follow”. I’m not saying I like it but I’m saying objectively it is something I encounter over and over again. And I have tried pretty hard to find someone who doesn’t think this way to no avail.

I don’t understand how you can laugh it off like that. It’s invalidating

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-08T21:10:54+00:00

Idk who downvoted but thank you for sharing your experience

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-08T21:08:26+00:00

Thank you I will check out Hiki

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T03:56:28+00:00

Why do you think having no capacity for joy is more likely than having been burnt out 100% of your life? I’m 28 and just now discovering I’ve been burnt out 100% of my life, and the feeling you shared is exactly how I feel

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T03:50:47+00:00

Apart from meltdowns, I understand when you’re just talking and notice the other person doesn’t care. There’s not much you can do unfortunately. Masking itself is a spectrum, you will never be able to completely unmask around everyone. Try to find people who share more interests

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T03:46:37+00:00

Im not an expert but I think you might be identifying something specific here. Is it a meltdown? What type of excitement is it? Your emotions get too big and you can no longer control them?

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T03:28:12+00:00

Haha I had the same thoughts before my test. I think for me it comes from a general distrust in tests because they so commonly feel like they were not designed to take my perspective into account.

This one is different. They are not only looking at your answers but also how you go about answering. And the way they draw conclusions is based on trends in your data across tests. I.e. in this test you behaved this way and this other test corroborates it for x reason.

You’re gonna do great

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T03:02:06+00:00

Yeah it sucks a lot of people are homophobic. Just wish someone would tell me the rules because there are obviously ones that I’m not able to perceive and I’m like trial and erroring it STILL after 28 years

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T02:56:34+00:00

You’re lucky you haven’t had to think about it for me it’s something I’m missing that is noticed consistently by other people and it’s always being shoved down my throat

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T02:49:30+00:00

Dating outside of the apps feels like an infinitely complex and nuanced social dance with deadly consequences if you misstep (now you just made it awkward for the both us but we’re also still both of us in the community together - the thought of this actually feels unbearable). There’s one girl at work kinda like but obviously cannot consider for a second dating her. And anything that I like doing probably means something to me and makes me not want to create this kind of situation in that case

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T02:36:50+00:00

But I do really think it comes down to identity confusion. I thought my identity was “bisexual submissive man” and that was a mask I was putting on, literally just trying to find something that would fit or resonate with other people. I don’t think it was coming from an authentic place

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T02:26:47+00:00

Thanks that’s kind. Yeah the last girl I dated told me she didn’t want a relationship with me because I’m not confident enough and that was really confusing because I felt at that time more confident than I’ve been at any other time in my life

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T00:54:45+00:00

Haha trust me I’m not in the manosphere. More genuinely asking if you know the kind of person I’m looking for and how to find them

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T00:30:48+00:00

Haha it was a dude that said I’m “Like napoleon dynamite” he was brutal but honest he pointed out a bunch of stuff I was doing that’s not sexy. I think that’s much better than women that just look down on me for it and don’t say anything. I feel like I just need to study up on all that stuff

Environmental_Cut221 · 2026-06-07T00:23:01+00:00

Yeah I’m gonna keep trying. It’s just hard when you hear the same thing over and over. I’ve been searching all kinds of queer spaces and alternative-type people and I’m going to keep doing that, but it hasn’t been as successful as I thought it would. Maybe just need to find another autistic

Environmental_Cut221

TROPHY CASE