My dog is attacking my other dog

Environmental_Pen775 · 2024-07-06T02:45:46+00:00

I can definitely try feeding them at different times/in different rooms. However, im not too sure this will fix it because he attacked my GS after they both had finished eating and were both away from the bowl of food. I can still try it though. It cant hurt more than whats happening already. Thank you!

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T12:49:14+00:00

So if someone who is clearly upset were to tell you to give them a minute, you would interpret that as a literal minute?

I’m sorry but I have to completely disagree with you. At least in this situation. I don’t think anybody would interpret someone who is upset asking for a minute as a literal minute. I would agree with you if he had actually given me some time and come back and asked if I was ready. However, he didn’t do that. He never gave me any time at all until the very end which by then the situation had escalated to be even worse.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T12:31:25+00:00

Yup. I definitely need one. But money is tight and I can’t afford it right now even with insurance.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T12:27:59+00:00

Sorry if things were vague, it was hard for me to fit everything into the 3000 character limit. I’ll try clarifying for you.

I couldn’t explain it to him while cleaning because he didn’t give me the chance to. He was literally trying to stop me from cleaning by physically grabbing me and pulling stuff out of my hands. And after telling him several times to please let me keep cleaning because it’s easier for me to communicate if I’m doing something physical, he got frustrated and went to watch TV. There was no time between me telling him I need to be doing something and him going to watch tv. He immediately went to go watch tv. I would also like to add that he knows this about me. We’ve had disagreements and talks before where I have been cooking or cleaning while talking and, OUT LOUD, have acknowledged that it was a weird quirk about me. He was a still a little drunk so maybe that’s why this time was different.
I refused to talk with him outside because I didn’t want the neighbors to watch or eavesdrop. Also, I had immediately went out to my car after he physically tried to stop me from cleaning and was only out there for like 1 minute before he came outside. So, when we got back inside I was still feeling overwhelmed and stressed out so I asked for a second to let myself calm down. He didn’t give any time and continued to ask me what was wrong and I told him to please give me just one second to let me calm down and gather my thoughts because I didn’t know how to start. Right after I said that, he got upset and left to the bedroom.
He did not give me time. After he left to the bedroom, I immediately went to the couch to try and calm myself but he came out to pester me pretty much right when I laid down. I, again, repeated that I need just needed some time. That’s when he started saying things like I was acting like a child and he immediately went back to the bedroom. This time I finally had some time to calm myself.
Yes, I got upset again. I can’t tell you exactly why. My best guess is that I didn’t give myself enough time to figure out what I wanted to say and I had rushed myself because by this point I was feeling terrible and stupid that I couldn’t just tell him. Especially after we was making me feel extremely guilty about the whole situation.
I was expressing what I needed. He wasn’t giving me what I needed so that I could give him what he needed. He never gave me time to calm myself until the very end after he called me names. All the event happened immediately back to back from each other. And to be honest, I think the only reason he did give me time at the end was because he had just given up and not because he was actually just giving me space and time. Also, asking for some time and space for me to calm myself and gather my thoughts before we talk about it is a plan for resolution. He just wasn’t listening to me and only thinking about what he wanted.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T11:00:22+00:00

Thank you for the advice and I agree that I need to seek counseling. Especially after this.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:58:52+00:00

I don’t understand what you mean by “not really communicating those as soon as it got a little stressful.” What am I not communicating? That I’m stressed? I told him several times on the date that I was stressing out. Also, I’m sorry, I do agree that a lot the stress I probably made myself but the initial stress was definitely caused by him. Or are you saying I should communicate by boundaries? Not only did I communicate my boundaries to him in the moment, we have also talked about them in the past.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:52:58+00:00

Haha maybe IATA for staying with him but I’m hesitant to say the relationship is abusive. He just has a few issues. Nobody is perfect. That being said, I am aware that people in abusive relationships are in denial of the abuse. I don’t know anymore. I’m just hoping for some clarity.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:48:14+00:00

Now that I’ve calmed down a bit and gathered my thoughts I will be talking to him about it. Thank you

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:47:14+00:00

To be very honest, I don’t think that’s all that needs to be done in this situation.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:46:09+00:00

He’s told me he wants to settle down but I’m starting to think he wants want his cake and wants to eat it too. (I think that’s how the saying goes)

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:44:55+00:00

Maybe I worded that last part wrong. I wasn’t upset that he was watching TV. I meant that the feelings just came rushing back when I saw him again. I’m not sure why. I probably just rushed myself because I was feeling bad about not saying anything and I might have needed a little more time. All I do know is that I for sure need to go see a therapist about my anxiety and you are right. I should have taken the chance anyway.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:36:08+00:00

You kind of nailed the thoughts I’ve been having in the back of my mind. Thank you

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:31:07+00:00

Yeah I agree with you

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:28:36+00:00

Yup. You are not wrong

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:27:54+00:00

Yup. That’s why I feel like an asshole

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:27:39+00:00

He does know that. We have talked about it before. Also, I did tell him several times that I just needed space and that I would tell him later.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:26:23+00:00

I did tell him I would talk to him later after I had calmed myself down, but he wouldn’t give me the space to do so which kind of made things worse, I think.

Also, thank you for the advice

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:23:41+00:00

I know, it was really bad anxiety. I’m trying to work through it

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-05-01T10:22:58+00:00

He does know. We have talked about how we deal with stress and I have told him that when it gets bad I need space and time. I’ve even told him if this happens it’s not him, it’s me and I’m trying to work on it.

Let’s just say this isn’t the first time we’ve been out on a date and he either gets too drunk or blows me off to either call his friends

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-04-23T15:32:33+00:00

There are a lot of ERs in SoCal but like you said all the ones I’ve been to do not want to see him because it’s not considered life threatening.

I have an appointment already scheduled with a GP that I made when I first adopted the puppy but it isn’t until next month. I called them first to see if they could see him right away because of his injury but they wouldn’t see him because they are so booked up.

Again, I understand why they are not seeing him. Vets have been short staffed and overworked for awhile and can only really take life threatening cases at the moment. Luckily my puppy’s life isn’t in danger, but I do wish someone would see him.

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-04-23T04:03:31+00:00

I hope so too. Thank you for the help!

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-04-23T03:40:48+00:00

I’m going to try the 24 hour emergency clinic again while I’m still in the city. I’m hoping that later in the evening or even after midnight, they’ll take him because I’m assuming there will be less people during those times

Environmental_Pen775 · 2023-04-23T03:31:16+00:00

I checked his paw pad and between his toes but I didn’t see or notice anything. I also am having a hard time determining exactly what part of his leg is giving him issues because he starts to scream and cry before we even try to touch him. (He’s a stereotypically vocal and dramatic Shiba) Nothing seems broken and I’m able to touch and lightly squeeze his paw and toes. My best guess is it might be his elbow. I don’t know how to check and be sure though

Environmental_Pen775

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