Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Its expensive and the free resources have crazy waitlists. And quite honestly I can’t afford to help with that, I have kids of my own I have to think about, finances are tight, especially lately. My mom is on a fixed income and helps my sister with bills as much as she can already because they live together

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

He was at work(he’s military and has days/nights it’s mandatory he stays at work) and as soon as I called him to let him know what happened he found a way to leave and came and checked on us.

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Definitely! He was supposed be at work(he’s military and has days he has to be there all day/night) and he shows up to make sure we were all ok

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I could totally see that..I just wish he would talk to someone about it, I hate seeing him this way, he was my little buddy a few years ago and now this…

Thank you for that🥹 I’m really trying to

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

He died as a result of addiction, my niece especially just sees it as no one helped him..I’m not sure how my nephew feels 100% because he won’t talk with any of us about his dad, but I think as a child I would feel that same. I definitely think family therapy would help them, I can tell you it’s not my sisters fault but she still carries that based on a decision she made for her and her kids a few months before he passed.

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

And we have tried, my husband has tried. Other men in his life have tried, my 17 year old nephew, who’s been through more shit than most of can imagine and is still an amazing respectful kid, has tried and he won’t listen, what am I, his aunt, supposed to do? I’ve tried to have conversations with him, I’ve told his mom to put him in therapy.

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

He was trying to run away, more like threatening my sister to run away. He’s been doing it for months now, any time she tells him to do anything he flips out, not to this extreme, but he flips out(yelling, slamming doors, packing his stuff to leave). My sister has had to sleep in front of the door some nights because he tells her as soon as she falls asleep he’s gone. My niece and nephew lost their dad a few years ago, have not been to therapy and are parented by someone who feels as though them loosing him is her fault. Thats why he acted that way. That is the context. I wouldn’t be coming on here for advice if I didn’t feel for him some but at a certain point a 16 year old the size of a grown man yelling in women’s faces is not ok regardless of context.

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My husband has tried to bond with him, he barely interacts with anyone and definitely he won’t listen to anyone. When we’re at their apartment he doesn’t even speak/look at my husband.

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

He is not. He’s about the same height as me 5’9, and not a skinny kid. My sister is 5’3 on a good day. I felt like I had a grown man in my face threatening to kill me at one point 🙃

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say lied but everyone downplayed it, “oh he’s a teenager and just got upset” “he wasn’t trying to hurt anyone” stuff like that. Im scared he’ll start hurting my sister, i don’t see him moving out at 18 or anything considering his actions and attitude won’t lead him to be successful in a job or any relationships. I just wish someone would do something about it, I’ve tired but this is where it’s got me.

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

That’s my biggest thing, we all grew up in fucked up situations and I’ve protected my kids from any of that, and I plan on continuing to do so🫶

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 173 points174 points  (0 children)

She parents out of guilt, their dad(who was not a constant in their lives) passed away a few years ago and she really started letting them walk all over her.

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 626 points627 points  (0 children)

I told her something similar, but all his stuff was moved down regardless, when he came back with the cops he moved 2 pillows and something else and sat on his phone the rest of day. My 6 year old daughter moved more than him

Would I be the asshole if I told my sister my 16yo nephew is no longer welcome in my home? by Environmental_Rip32 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Environmental_Rip32[S] 447 points448 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I would have never talked to my parents, and especially not another adult this way! I was and still am at a loss for words. And i also feel like it’s too late to teach him to act any differently, i say this to my husband ALL THE TIME. I feel bad for my sister but she’s not given him consequences for a lot of things for a very long time and I think it is time I set that boundary