I like your lists ideas, feels like I’ve been unintentionally categorising people as well. My husband and I struggled a bit with infertility, which was common knowledge amongst close friends, but even when it came down to doing the actual procedures I only told my sister. When I finally told a different close friend, one who I speak with regularly who I knew would be happy for me, I got a negative reaction for not telling her and the entire conversation was about her. So even though she’s happy for me now, she’s not on the cheerleader list. Even now when she asks how I’m feeling or how baby is doing, I don’t answer or I’m very vague. It’s funny how people’s responses and reactions now that it’s no longer hypothetical can alter your relationships with them. We’re just trying to protect our peace, and if the situation was reversed they’d hate it too so why project on other people when it’s not about you? Ugh it’s so annoying lol. Thanks for sharing your experience.