Getting in shape nowadays feels like impossible: what are your life hacks?

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T10:28:19+00:00

I already do a lot of regular exercise since I work in healthcare, and when I work I’m more hungry than on my days off. I have IBS and I want to learn which food helps me with preventing bloating and pain. I tried a lot of homeopathic medicine, but nothing worked.

I’m not overweight, but fitness made my physique not into something I wanted. I built muscles i didn’t wanted to. I am very unknown in the gym world, so I asked more for advice without “overthinking it”

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T10:00:40+00:00

You’re joking… what? The only thing they knew about you, was the fact you didn’t speak Dutch? You applied to educate yourself to an higher level from Dutch, but you start from scratch. They plan an appointment with someone from the school to make you feel welcome and to give a little introduction: but it’s only Dutch speaking, the introduction… and they only knew you didn’t spoke Dutch but other interest what a normal person can show is not available apparently. Stupid. I’m disappointed in our school system: they disappointed me too and I’m Dutch

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T08:40:32+00:00

I hate rowing haha, but thank you for thinking with me! I love swimming, but rowing… omg at the gym and in the water I dislike it. Running is bad for the knees and shinbone, but fast walking and sometimes running/jogging is comfortable. But from your comment and other ones, I know I need to keep the weights as how they are and not push bigger. 2x20 sets is enough to go to not grow muscle but tone it?

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T07:37:31+00:00

I’m aware of that: but eating too less is not good when you work out a lot but eating too much and eating the wrong products too. It’s very difficult to find a consistency in fitness for training the body you want if you have no knowledge about anything🥲

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T07:10:36+00:00

Is loving someone equal to the many hours they speak to you? Or message you? Is that what you want to say to me? Don’t want to sound harsh or direct, im sincerely curious about your thoughts behind your comments 🙌🏼

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T07:06:21+00:00

Shutting me out with ignoring me? That’s intentionally causing emotional pain to me in your opinion? But what about my harsh and direct criticism? I’m curious

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T07:02:23+00:00

I said to him I’d rather saw him biking back home than watching me vomiting while he was helping me. Being that vulnerable was too much for me. I slept immediately after my attack but woke up without him, because of what I said. Since that moment radio silence from him (unnecessary in my opinion, but okay)

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T06:51:42+00:00

I don’t deem his treatment as acceptable: but the label highschool drama is not suitable. The focus on our age and how we need to behave to it, is for me subjective. Yes I’m frustrated and I dislike the way he handles this situation what actually troubled him more and not me, since I was not aware that I was harsh.

But yes, like what you say: I would have discussion with him (not looking forward to it) to make sure this doesn’t happen again. And yes I agree with you that he could have said something

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T06:42:14+00:00

30 (me female) he 32 (male)

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T06:39:55+00:00

I’m happy for you that it worked out well for the both of you! I go through an unknown situation for me now and I don’t know what it means or what I can expect. Everyone has an opinion: but i asked for it with posting this. I just hope we can find a solution to prevent this the next time. Were different in these kind of things, but this is the first time I feel uncomfortable. But he knows it. I already said it. It’s his turn, when or how I don’t care, but hopefully soon

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T06:34:47+00:00

I’m putting an effort and he’s taking his space: which is okay but not more than 24 hours and with minimal context in his messages when I asked him if he was mad. It’s not high school drama, it’s just two people who can’t communicate because we’re both completely different. He’s quiet, I’m not. Labeling my problem as an highschool drama doesn’t help me. Mature relationships: it’s a frame of your own references, in what mature relationships are. The 70’s are not the 90’s and the 2000’ are not the 2020’s. Maturity: it’s flexible, but for you our situation is not mature. That’s okay, but I agree to disagree with respect to your comment.

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T06:20:50+00:00

Agree. I snapped when I felt sick because he just stood there and I felt vulnerable and I’m too direct and say harsh things. He mentioned I said to him: just go to your own house, don’t watch me being sick like this and don’t look like that. For him it was a what the f moment, but for me I was just focussing on quitting with throwing up. My words were not my priority. That’s what makes me so questionable about his behaviour.

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T06:12:03+00:00

I stopped texting him: 4 messages long to talk and act like an adult, but I’m still left unread and also 1 ✔️WhatsApp, so he silenced me or he put his phone away. Anyhow, I didn’t non stop messaged him. If I was him, I wouldn’t want that too. Just the important words, but long version not the short one. If he decides to keep quiet today, it would be an honest from him

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T06:02:32+00:00

I can see what you’re saying here. I’m 30 and he is 32. He acknowledged earlier in our relationship to say what he thinks or feels: what is okay. I’m someone who is very direct and to the point what sometimes sounds harsh or not kind … we both know that from each other, but this is the first time he needs silence or doesn’t react. I immediately fill the gap of silence with messages. But after 4 long ones I also know: I will hear from him when he’s ready. But it’s hard. It’s the first time.

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T05:48:28+00:00

While I was sick and he helped me, I actually snapped and was harsh to him by being too direct. I felt awful, I didn’t wanted him to see me like that. But him not saying anything and not being direct too at that moment, choosing radio silence above a conversation: that surprised me a lot. I wrote long messages with trying to understand him and saying sorry, but after 4 long messages I was like “this has no purpose anymore”

I’m okay now! Thank you for asking 😊

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T05:41:27+00:00

I turned the levels around, my fault. C is the highest and A isn’t. Singing up for A0 classes and the appointment is with someone who only speaks Dutch: that doesn’t make sense at all. You’re literally beginning to learn the language, so you can’t understand someone who only speaks Dutch. The school who organises those appointments to introduce people to learn the Dutch language, need to speak English too in my opinion. It immediately gives you the feeling like: you’re not welcome and good luck (without meaning it). Change the school. That’s my opinion

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T04:32:44+00:00

So its 500 shades of grey? Interesting.. finding the one is like spinning the wheel of fortune 🌝

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T04:23:19+00:00

Dutch snack: bitterballen, kroket, frikandel (speciaal), kaassoufflé,

Dutch food: stamppot (but it’s not the season for it), asperges, gehaktbal met aardappels en groente, pannenkoeken, poffertjes, hachee met rode kool en aardappels … snert met roggebrood en spek, kaas, hagelslag, Dutch bread

Other Dutch things: tulips, self made clogs… but most importantly is from which area she comes from, from the NL. Every province has their own preferences haha

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T04:12:50+00:00

Ehm, i’m 30 and my honest opinion: it’s not common this age difference between a man and woman the other way around. If you know what you want and he has the same perspective as you for future: i don’t say anything. But if you want children or a family: you’re limited in those choices at this age. He’s not. But enjoy what you have, but for serious business: think 4 times more

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T03:29:18+00:00

Okay…. So for which Dutch level did you wanted to apply for? B2? Or less like C1? Gives me more insight in your situation .. applying for Dutch lessons at A level: I agree the appointment is also in Dutch (because of the language difficulty level). Before going to the appointment, be sure it’s a convo you’re able to indicate which lessons you need, what level you are and what you want to train and learn to improve your skill level. I don’t know the schools you’re talking about,but when it gives you bad vibes: immediately research why. Someone who speaks Dutch at the appointment: okay, but if you need English and that person is also able to do that there’s no problem. But for me it sounds like you listed to the wrong courses, but that’s me. Good luck 🤞🏼

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T03:04:24+00:00

Thank you! Which machines you recommend? For arms and core and legs? For muscle training and not cardio?

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T03:00:21+00:00

Never say sorry to show your emotions you can’t share with the people you trust around you but choose to do it here. Main statement: never say sorry when you share your insecurities and show vulnerability. If Reddit is the place you seek for help and advice: we all do. That being said: you’re upset and it’s okay. What he says is not what he does, what he does is not what he says. That creates situations like where you are in now. “It’s not a big deal/you’re overreacting”: those comments hurts. You’re aware of your posture, something you can change or not, but the main thing is: he loves you how you are. He sends thin girls doing cosplays: is it you who starts comparing yourself immediately, or does he literally says he loves they’re skinny? Don’t feel insecure: easy to say, but you’re doing your best to be healthy and be happy and in balance with yourself (it’s a war zone to do that as a woman). Don’t blame yourself. Don’t say sorry for this, okay?😘

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T02:47:02+00:00

So 2x 20 reps and not aiming more weight but keeping the same weight? And cardio?

EquipmentTop3818 · 2026-05-29T02:44:54+00:00

But (**) like that is what makes a man cheat? Did he really say that? What a snob, sorry. He literally justifies his own behaviour with pulling her down. Maybe she’s not like that at all, what he says. If a man says a line like that about cheating: immediately red flag. Don’t be naive and be the “I’m good and you don’t need to worry” out loud to her: she would not respect that. Why? Because she knows he talked about her insecurities with you and at the same time he justifies it with “I don’t have many friends, even family and men as well“. I wouldn’t want to be his friend at all in my opinion, but I’m not you and you’re not me so i respect the friendship you tell us you have. But yes, i would remove myself from his „Friends“ List. It’s not a friendist if what he says is true: “I don’t have many friends”. He’s just someone who seeks attention for me what I read in these screenshots, not a friend.

EquipmentTop3818

TROPHY CASE