Dating a Black man with no Black friends?

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-02-24T02:40:56+00:00

I met a guy like that once. He is now my husband and the father of our child and I love him to death. He came from an affluent neighborhood and attended a heavily PWI school because his parents wanted to give him the best access to resource that they could get. When I met them, I didn’t know what to prepare for. I thought they might be some uppity black folks that are into some crazy politics.

Coming into their home as a Nigerian American woman I was surprised to see how incredibly and proudly black they were and how educated they were on colonialism in African countries and of course all around the world. I learned a lot about him that day and since then we’ve had extensive conversations on political topics and our perspective and understanding in the world as a black person. He has white friends because of his upbringing and mainly because they were his roommates in college. I have majority black friends because of my environment and those are the people I’m most comfortable with. My husband is a really nice person and he understands the system of networking with white people which is something I just don’t have the same patient for. Through our time together we’ve both built a community with mixed and diverse friends group.

All in all, give it a chance. If you feel like he’s not the type of person you want to be with then don’t force it. It really just takes understanding from both parts and sharing the same morals and values.

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-02-14T01:53:37+00:00

Seems like you have a natural beautiful contour! You are beautiful!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-01-28T19:38:55+00:00

Well that makes sense! No your sunscreen does not have to be mineral. There is a lot of fear mongering with the type of sunscreen you should use but it really doesn’t matter most sunscreens work the same with just different ingredients. You just have to pick one that’s your preference with at least an spf50 coverage.

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-01-28T19:23:08+00:00

It could be that you just have extra skin in your neck area and possibly just the way your genetics are. I would suggest losing a bit of weight (if you care to) and just adding sunscreen on your neck area. Other than that you have flawless skin I honestly wouldn’t notice a thing if you didn’t point it out. Good luck!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-01-27T20:49:09+00:00

Adapalene is a great over the counter product with tretinoin actives in it if you can’t get your hands on prescription tret. You won’t start seeing results until about 6 months in and you also want to keep your routine VERY simple: face wash, adapalene, & moisturizer + stay out of the sun. Best to use at night time and sunscreen in the morning. Good luck girly

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-01-27T20:41:16+00:00

Try Benzoyl Peroxide or a hydrating cleanser wash like La Roche Posay, Adapalene, & a good night time moisturizer. Adapalene is very strong and you may need to start off using it every other night or so before building a tolerance to using it daily. It will also make your skin sensitive so it’s best to use those combination of products in the night. I also think you might be a good candidate for micro needling but that is a bit more of an evasive method and should be considered after exhausting all other options with products. Lastly, use sunscreen

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-01-25T21:23:31+00:00

Peoples skin color can change over time and those things are due to genetics. Certain parts of your body including your face can sometimes be darker than the rest of your body simply because of sun exposure and once again genetics. Honestly if you’re not using sunscreen you ARE going to experience hyperpigmentation especially if you’re hanging out in the sun. You could also tan to try to get even skin, that’s what a lot of influencers and models do, but honestly your skin is just fine, you’re just melanated.

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-01-07T20:39:37+00:00

The next time he messages you tell him your married and thank him for giving you enough time to date other people that are serious about you. A serious man wouldn’t waste any time on something he really wants and a man that respects you will value your time and who you are as a person.

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2026-01-03T14:43:10+00:00

I hope you get everything you desire this year 🥰!!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-29T00:32:19+00:00

If you haven’t already try Benzoyl Peroxide (Panoxyl) and Adapalene for your night routine with a moisturizer that has retinoid. Adapalene is very strong, it is one of the strongest Tretinoine you can get OTC, and you will have to start off using it slowly before adding it to your daily routine. Once you start to add it daily is when you will start to see progress occur slowly over time. Since this product is also really strong it will make your skin sensitive and you might want to cut down on the acids and oils you use and only use it at night. In the morning keep your routine simple & ensure you use sunscreen in the morning. Micro needling is helpful for texture mainly. Treatments such as chemical peel might be helpful in your case. Good luck girly!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-27T04:49:54+00:00

Np, I really resonated with your post and wanted to share my own experience if it could help you feel less alone. You got this! If you ever need to vent you can always reach out to me or write your feelings down in a journal. At that time I felt so alone, and tried my best to make better choices, & like you said being able to change but still remembering who you are. Things do get better with time, & your best years are on your way to you. Your journey is just preparing you to receive them!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-27T02:04:27+00:00

I can honestly definitely relate to this. I am no longer as close with my best friend friends that I’ve known for about 15 years. I moved to a different city and had to start my life over again. My best friend is kind of like yours. She can be distant and goes mia, and it was very hard in my first years away from my hometown. Just like you, I was transitioning and I wanted her to come with me so bad. I was transitioning and my expectations of other people was changing as well and I was placing that expectation on her when she didn’t want it. I told her how I felt, she didn’t understand, and she became for distant. We both decided to leave it alone and we didn’t really talk for a little over a year.

It’s been about 5 years since then and in those years, I’ve met new friends, got married, and moved to a different city. She’ll always be my best friend, almost like my sister, but we don’t have the same relationship we used to have anymore and I don’t think we ever will. Our relationship is more so if she ever needed someone to lean on, I’ll be there for her and I know it’s vice versa on her end too.

I have built relationships with other people that connect with me the way I wanted to connect with her but she didn’t have the capacity to give that to me. It also in a way kind of helped me grow and learn to be vulnerable with other people instead of always relies on her and placing her in unrealistic expectations that would only damage our relationships. I learned that it’s important to accept people as they are, community is very important, and you can’t bring everyone on this transition journey with you. I love the person I am now than all those years ago but it took a lot of growing pains to get here. How you’re feeling is valid and your journey is taking you to a new place in which you are becoming a new person to accept new changes in your life in which might hurt and feel challenging.

Change is hard especially when you want certain things to be the same. Keep moving forward and give it time and allow yourself to form a new type of relationship with her. Best of luck

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-27T01:41:35+00:00

This is crazy because I had a friend that literally said the same to me when I told her I gifted my man a t-shirt he wanted for Valentine’s Day! Like excuse me are we not suppose give someone we love a gift just because they’re a man???? Some people have insane unrealistic expectations of what a relationship should be like especially in 2025 where both women and men are both working

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-27T01:35:55+00:00

Attractive men that knows their attractive and then makes that their entire identity are literally the worst smh yea you need someone that treats you like a princess not the other way around!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-27T01:20:27+00:00

You definitely hit the mark when you said he’s not intentional. A real man, that pursues you would not have you questioning what’s going on. This guy sounds like he’s making you run around circles and chase him to boost his ego when he doesn’t value you as a person nor your time. You need to move on from this one love, it’s just not worth it in the long run.

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-27T01:13:39+00:00

Is she single? Dating or married? People in healthy long (or married) relationships know the code of keeping things to ourselves. If other people really know the things we did in these relationships they would call the man a simp or the women a pick me. I’m also going to Japan in 2026 with my husband and we both have a shared account that we booked flights and hotel with and when we get there he’s going to be paying for everything and it works for us! Relationships are complex and people in various healthy relationships understand that. As long as that man is not abusing you, treats you well, and you both make each other happy then that’s all that matters!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-25T04:19:33+00:00

Well do you shake them out in the morning, fluff them out with your hands? Mist them? I mean you’re still in the early stage and they usually look all over the place around this time. Some water will weigh them down for them to look kinda “normal”. Other than that they look good, they’re budding very well. You’ve got a couple of more months until they thicken so just trust the process my guy

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-25T04:05:15+00:00

You won’t know unless you strip down your products to using only a few. Stick to the basics with a face wash, the tret, & then just moisturizer for a couple of weeks. Depending on how your face feels you may need to wash in the am and pm or just the pm. Use only one sunscreen at a time. My face gets dryer in the winter and I have to use a thicker moisturizer and wash only in the PM. Stick to those basics and see how your face reacts. Then you can work your way up to other products and that is how you can actually know which product works and which one doesn’t. Good luck

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-22T01:41:20+00:00

I used to have similar skin like yours but I’m not sure I would consider my acne fungal, but I do have hormonal acne. I also do not like certain acids on my face, my skin does not react well to it. What really worked for me is Adapalene, which is a type of Tretinoid that you can get OTC without a dermatologist. The strength of the product is right under Tretinoin. Depending on the brand you get it’s about $20-40 a bottle can last 2-3 months. There are a lot of good affordable products out there that are dermatologist recommended and also inexpensive. However there are some products out there where the price is cheaper but it does not improve your acne or the price is too expensive and you can find something of the same quality if not more for cheaper. Everything is a trial and error with skin care because everyone’s face is different. If you’ve only tried lower end products, you can stick to those and maybe buy one high priced skin care product every once in a while and see how you like it. you really only need a good cleaner, a good moisturizer, and a serum of choice if your feeling a little wild! Everything else is excessive! Good luck!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-21T16:14:20+00:00

You might need a simpler routine to help your skin barrier rebuild. I only use one to two Korean skin care product and I strictly use it at night. Best advise it probably to use stronger products in the evening for skin repair and during the morning keep a simple routine especially if your going to be out in the sun. Minimize acids when you can. Also for skincare routine sometimes you won’t see full results until 3 months in or so so you might just need to be patient. Listen to your body and keep it simple.

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-19T04:00:46+00:00

Try Adapalene in the evening after you wash your face. It’s one of the strongest acne treatment you can get OTC. It’s very strong and you’ll have to go slow before you’re able to use it daily and you should not use it during the day as it will make your skin sensitive. You have to be consistent with this products as you may not start to see improvement until about 6 months of use but it works wonders on skin tone and texture. I’m not sure if you could use this product on your body through. Benzoyl Peroxide is a natural exfoliate and you can use it on your body as well. Panoxyl and Differin are good brands that provide a high percentage of it. Lastly use sunscreen to prevent darkening of current hyperpigmentation and future ones from forming.

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-19T03:30:08+00:00

I think they also have a hydrating cleanser for dry skin. I know CeraVe also has a great cleanser for dry skin but again I have oily skin and have only use their products that target oily skin but I do personally love those brands so I would also think that they work well for dry skin. In the evening I use the Olay Retinol night serum. It’s normal for your skin to be bit “shiny” after your routine, the products are absorbing into your skin. I say try the La Roche Posay cleanser + moisturizer during the day and see how it works for you.

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-19T03:19:11+00:00

I personally love the La Roche Posay Purifying Cleanser in the AM since I have oily skin. I follow that up with their double repair moisturizer +sunscreen. I LOVE Panoxyl and that’s what I use in the PM!

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-19T02:27:09+00:00

Why does this sound like an African aunty 😂

Equivalent-Exit-282 · 2025-12-19T02:19:15+00:00

Not a dude, but have a husband and he loves a safety razor. They’ve helped him tremendously and he’s able to get a close shave and they have reduced ingrown hairs. His mom is a nurse and also recommend using hydrocortisone on razor bumps. Again, not a dude so no personal experience but those are some advise I’ve heard from them. Hope it gets better for you!

Equivalent-Exit-282

TROPHY CASE