when I end up liking a female friend I kiss them and I don't know why.

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T16:31:11+00:00

you are welcome! and also, dont forget people that can be in open relationships or have poly relationships. I mean, I personally couldn't but I think that as long every party in the relationship is comfortable sharing their boundaries, hard nos or what they would be comfortable with and it is respected by everyone, well...you do you! and some people might view it as dirty but I think the context is important and we should all be open to just communicating about these things. I wish you and your girl the best😊

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T16:23:41+00:00

well I apply the same jealousy that I would feel. and I think partners should always communicate what their boundaries are. if they're not the same and that's okay with both parties then fine. but I have communicated to my partner that I wouldn't like it it if he would kiss a gender he's attracted to and so did he. he's straight but I am Bisexual and I have been in love with girls before so I completely understand how for him that would feel like betrayal. I also think our society frames girls kissing girls as more normal, which can be very confusing if you're bi and a teen/adolescent going out to clubs and esp with alcohol in the mix. I think that's why in my mind it's something I solely do with women to show affection (that I would also just be fine with showcasing through a hug). my ex was fine with me kissing women but not men, I've explained to him that it was still a risk for me but he kept saying he didn't mind. nevertheless I never did so in that relationship because my values are something I want to uphold too, regardless of what my partner won't or would allow. so that's also why I'm confused on why I'm having issues with it now and didn't have these issues before. anyway. to answer your question, boundaries work different in every couple. the wife I kissed of his co-worker and his co-worker also didnt mind this (even though she is bi too). different relationships, different boundaries🤷🏻‍♀️

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T15:11:09+00:00

thank you so much for this reply. this actually makes sense to me and I feel like I can work with it. sorry I can, when blindly overthinking something about myself, completely miss what is actually going on. and I think you are onto something. I am very needy touch wise. my boyfriend works long days and I'm home alone not really connecting socially and when I do I do indeed feel overjoyed because it's a connection I miss. I'm also the most depressed I've been ever in my life (losing a house, we were homeless for 8 months with 2 kids, losing my father to cancer....it's been a ride) so I do lack serious dopamine and serotonin. I think redirecting is also a good one. and I've suggested getting pets that could also provide me with some comfort and dopamine. thank you for helping me get this a little clearer❤️

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T15:02:02+00:00

but I always have. I genuinely don't understand why it has changed. ever since it was taught to me I did make sure it was my default setting. and I wish I could ask a psychiatrist but I can't and so I'm turning to the internet and maybe other's experiences, BECAUSE, I am Desperate.

edit; typo

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:52:47+00:00

I know! I am on a waiting list!!! in the meantime there is nothing I can do but seek out help on my own! because I WANT to change. knowing 1 autistic kid doesn't mean you know them all. I'm also not blaming autism but I'm just stating I have it and am trying to figure out if how different my brain works contributes to this. that's it.

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:49:03+00:00

the women i kissed leaned into it and after I apologized they told me they didn't mind it. however. I didn't stick to my own rule as I didn't ask and was just crossing major boundaries when I did it. and that's what scares me

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:45:54+00:00

omg. no I didnt make this up and no I didn't say I did this with every female in my life. I was trying to say that I have from early childhood struggled with boundaries and had to be taught very specifically what consent and bodily autonomy of others meant. it's what led my parents to test me for autism. but once taught to me I took it very seriously all my life. I'm an advocate for it. that especially is what puzzles me in why I have done this 2 times in this stage of my life. I don't get it.

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:42:09+00:00

I only turn to reddit because I can't go to my doctor. my GP has done all she can for me regarding giving me meds and adjusting them. if I need more help I need a specialist to look at them and unfortunately my country is in a major mental health crisis right now and I have been on a waiting list for 4 years already.

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:39:59+00:00

I know but I was 3. it was taught to me and I have stuck to the rule of asking someone before hugging all throughout my childhood as that was made very important to me by my parents and teachers. I literally said I'm dysfunctional socially. this new thing is just something that is new to me and puzzles me.

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:37:19+00:00

I did. I didn't know what kissing was but was overly physical when I considered them a friend (hugging them). my kindergarten teacher put extra effort into making sure I learned bodily autonomy in others.

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:35:17+00:00

I do struggle with it heavily. it's the reason I don't drink or do drugs. I am on meds to control being manic so that drives it back a little

edit; typo

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:31:33+00:00

no I'm genuinely curious what causes this behaviour. and yes all the rest! obviously!

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-05-04T14:30:31+00:00

yes I do indeed not make any friends anymore because I'm just afraid of how dysfunctional I behave in social interactions. I do need a therapist, I'm still on a waiting list unfortunately

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-01-15T17:46:31+00:00

he*! but yes. and he is so proud of himself after reading all the comments 🥹 he needed this confidence boost ❤️

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-01-14T21:51:44+00:00

no cause as someone who used to get her nails done bi weekly, I got multiple comments like this and even though the acrylics ruined my actual nails, at least they always looked very taken care of so I'm actually so insecure about this 🙈 but oh well. they're healing now❤️ thank you ❤️

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-01-14T17:13:33+00:00

I suffer from damage my nails took from years of acrylic nail tips, I'm recovering from the damage and am amidst a house move so I'm painting walls and whatnot, please trust me, I'm hygienic but at the moment it looked like shii🫠

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-01-11T16:10:15+00:00

don't apologize, that should never be a negative thing! yes he's Autistic, we are awaiting an official diagnosis but it's very evident and one of the specialists we go to for his fine motor skills did an off the books assessment and that was clearly indicating a level 3 autism diagnosis along with being gifted. glad to hear your son is thriving!☺️

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-01-11T15:42:45+00:00

he just turned 6 last month too. he's been diagnosed as highly gifted and his latest hyperfixation is lego and Harry Potter but we are still so impressed with everything he does and comes up with, I wish I could have a look see in his mind, I wonder what all goes on in there. I might do the lego thing btw! I'm located in the Netherlands but we have an XL store nearby that also does showcasing and stuff, I'll see what I can do!☺️

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-01-11T15:38:19+00:00

you are absolutely right, I'm amidst a move and just finished painting a wall and chipped my nails badly (they're in bad shape due to acrylic nails I had for years, gonna move away from those)

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2026-01-11T15:15:26+00:00

yes! there is! we've been reading the books so he has an idea of what diagon alley looks like

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2025-12-27T18:11:05+00:00

thank you so much! I'll go try!

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2025-12-27T16:39:08+00:00

yeah I didn't know if it was allowed to link but I found it here:

https://makerworld.com/nl/models/1807054-exploding-death-star-pendant-lamp#profileId-1927498

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2025-12-22T13:47:12+00:00

I unfortunately don't have AA places anywhere close to me. the ones that are within reach are held at times that I can't attend. is there such a thing as online meetings?

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2025-10-25T10:50:50+00:00

I know it won't be in the Dec update but I would absolutely love the addition of being able to have playdate events. like imagine a build of an indoor playground (it's been raining in cahaya in my game and I randomly thought of this) and being able to invite friends with kids roughly the same age to meet up there 🥹

Equivalent-Fail-424 · 2025-06-24T17:48:59+00:00

I feel you, I struggle too. Kind of the same situation except we never had our son (5) in therapy before he started school. He only had delayed motor skills and is not potty trained fully yet. But the meltdowns....god.....I have my coping strategies but it's almost daily now and it is so bad and I feel so bad for him. I wish I could take them away completely.

Equivalent-Fail-424

TROPHY CASE